Book News Humor Political Satire Satire The T-Rump Dig

The Trumpassic Period — Year FOUR

The decline of the Roman Empire had its moments. But none like these.

That’s right. The Trumpassic Period — Year Four: Trial by Combat puts a cap on all things politically unconscionable.

From Day 1096 to Day 1464, Belisle brings home the beefs and bones about the Tyrumposaurus that kept Dino Nation one step and a nose dive from the crazy weed patch and psychotherapy.

The Coronavirus ravages the Milkanhoney Preservation but the T-Rump continues his super spreader rallies. The Kushneratops lays claim to the community stockpile while the Randpaul is fine with spittin’ in the pool. 

Year Four: Trial by Combat is 100+ more dino tales — two per week — that capture the T-Rump’s fourth year in power for all the terrible after taste it left. There are more unsavory reptiles than you can shake a Caviaraptor leg at, all willing to holler “Election fraud!” from the highest mountain to stay in the good graces of the tyrannical T-Rump.

This 394-page chronology of T-Rump’s final days in the Oval Dwelling ring and sing with the doom and gloom infamy that 30,000 lies and a second impeachment will bring one diabolical dino. For the my-life-passed-before-my-eyes reader in you.

Available on Amazon for $4.99. Download today!

Humor The T-Rump Dig

Mr. Caputo …

The Q-Anonymousarus dinos had gathered in the clearing for a huge rally. They were packed in like Hammerhead Sardines, cheek-to-cheek and happily yapping away about anything but social distancing and the deadly Coronavirus. In the front row there were a pair of very closely related dinos, the Billybob and the Billyjoe. They were pair of Red Neck Nukkledraggerz fraternizing full time with the Q-Anon dino crowd.

“Billybob, you sure the Mincepencenow won’t be showin’ up?”

“That’s right, Billyjoe. I heard there was this theory …”

The fifty closest dinos stopped talking all of a sudden and leaned into the conversation.

“I say, there was this theory that Mother was prone to splitting headaches at the mere mention of Pizza Gators and hell, since we let any ol’ dino in here, we darn well couldn’t guarantee that. Or maybe it was the theory, this one’s a good’n … that the Mincepencenow isn’t here because he’s suffering from a bad case of leather mouth from lickin’ the T-Rump’s tail everyday and twice on Sunday.”

“But he’s been doing that for goin’ on four years now, Billybob.”

“Yes, but he plum forgot the second time last Sunday and now he’s feelin’ remorse like, you remember when our pet dino died? Imagine a grown dino cryin’ like that. He’s really shook up about it.”

“Oh, that’s gotta be tough. But it’s the Donkeykongrus’ fault, right?”

“Each and every time. That dang Nancypelosi was thinkin’ about him, that’s right, thinking about him the exact same time it was supposed to happen. Of course it threw him off. It’s all her fault, it is. Damn Donkeykongrus dino doo-doo.”

“So many deep state conspiracies to keep track of.”

“That’s why we lost our jobs, Billyjoe. So we could follow the ever-changin’ hierarch-ichy of every plausible, cotton pickin’, perplexin’ explanation. Exponentially-speakin’ of course. But as sure as Suzie-Q’s our sister, it was worth it.”

“Damn straight. Hey, I hear that Stegastyx is the entertainment tonight.”

“Hot damn! They got great tunes, don’t they now? Blue Collar Dino … Lordy, I Lie … Best of Crimes …”

“I like that Fooling Yourself … and Come Wail Away … then there’s Crystal Wall …”

“Don’t forget that slow one, Shady … and Renegade … Cheat Madame Blue … suh-weet!”

“And The Grand Illusion. Classic … what about Too Much Executive Time on My Hands? We could go on forever.”

“That’s why they voted them the Dino’s Choice back in the day. Every song, just a fantastic, well-crafted conspiracy theory. You gotta love ‘em.”

“I hope they play that new one. Look, Billybob, here they come.”

The Stegastyx charged onto the stage and launched into their latest dinosaur rock track.

“That’s the one, Billybob! They’re playing it!”

(No, no, we will stop Joe, Mr. Caputo), No, no, we will stop Joe, Mr. Caputo

You just made our day

No, no, we will stop Joe, Mr. Caputo

You’re our conspiracy guy

We’re wondering who you are (secret secret, Soviet asset)

How low you set Billbarr (secret secret, pretty low, we bet) 

You’re the new virus star (secret secret, you’re no doctor yet)

We hope you’ll take us far 


You’ve got a secret, it’s high time you let us in

At C-D-C they all are spoiling for a deep state win

So if we see you acting strangely, we’re not surprised

You sometimes like to incite riots, your eyes opened wide

We’ll keep you alive, we’ll keep you alive

Eyes open wide, we’ll keep you alive

It’s all politics, they are animals, a conspiracy

You’re here to help us, stop Joebiden, can someone help you?

You’re our new hero, we’ll say our prayers, forget what we know 

They want us all sick, sacrifice lives, til it’s out of control

So out of control. Just out of control

They have no soul. Let the bad news roll

This is their master plan (secret secret, they will so regret)

Get sick and die, their task (secret secret, yes, we’d better fret)

One word for that, you see (secret secret, yes, you did forget)

Fill in the blank for me

No, no, we will stop Joe, Mr. Caputo, no no (no no) … no no (no no)

No, no, we will stop Joe, Mr. Caputo, no no (no no) … no no (no no)

No, no, we will stop Joe, Mr. Caputo

No, no, we will stop Joe, Mr. Caputo

No, no, we will stop Joe, Mr. Caputo

No, no, we will stop Joe, Mr. Caputo

Thank you very much, Mr. Caputo

For doing the job that nobody wants to

And thank you very much, Mr. Caputo

For leaving them agape like we knew you’d do

Thank you … thank you, thank you

We want to thank you … please, thank you

The problem’s plain to see

Violence will come to be

We’ll fight to save our lives

They cannot win the prize!

The time will come to pass (secret secret, November secret)

Resistors will en masse (secret secret, this is a threat)

Begin their killing spree (secret secret, you had better get)

A head start home, Mikey!

You’re Killjoy! Killjoy! Killjoy! … Killjoy


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Donald Trump Humor

Tunnel Vision …

“Alright, you lily-livered, pale-scale walnut-heads! Listen up!”

The Sergeantcarter drilled his squad of sleepy-eyed Militarysaurae with both eyeballs, looking them up and down as he waddled down the line. It was oh-six-hundred hours outside their cramped, damp caves, the nearest Militarysaurae hoof camp to the Kenosha-Sheboygan shenanigans.

“It’s come down from on high, straight from the Markmilley, that we are to continue with Operation Warpmind. Think clandestine. Nefarious. Extra nasty. That is, we take whatever violence we see and blow it out of proportion, so much so that we continue to get these local yokels coming out of the bushes and other dingleberry dinos traveling overland for days on end … with a hate on the size of the T-Rump’s ego. We need these agitators runnin’ roughshod all over the place. The more the merrier, I say. ”

“Uh, Sarge?”

It was the Gomerpyle, a recent recruit with an unwavering moral compass and a naive noggin only outweighed by his in-your-face friendliness.

“What is it, Gomer?”

“Are we still calling these peaceful protesters anarchists and Marxists?”

“That’s right.”

“G-o-o-o-o-l-l-y. They sure look peaceful though. I saw a couple of them sleeping side-by-side the other day under a tree? A big ol’ Magnolia. It was as thick as my pappy’s tail?”

“The point, Pyle. Your point?”

“Okay, Sarge. Sure. You see, they were sleeping. And as they were sleeping a little ol’ magnolia blossom floated down from the tree and it got caught in mid-air over the one dino’s nostril, you see. Just a few inches above? It just kind of hung there, only when the nostril flared and exhaled — Sur-prise! Sur-prise! Sur-prise! It went over above the other dino’s nostril and the same thing happened all over again. Again and again. Shazam! I just sat there and watched. (Sigh) Just as peaceful as can be. I hope you don’t mind that I did that, Sarge?”

“Gomer, do you know the difference between protesting and sleeping?”

“Oh, sure. That would be insomnia.”

The Sergeantcarter grumbled under his breath.

“Uh, Sarge? I have another question? These foreign dinos joining up with us? They have no visible markings. I don’t even know their names. I know you said we don’t have to know their names, but what if something happens to them and you know, we have to notify their next of kin? It made me think of my mammy and my pappy …”

“You leave your mammy and your pappy out of this! No fraternizing. Period.”

“Because they’re the enemy?”

“No, because they’re our friends and this is restricted to a need-to-know basis.”

“Right as rain, Sarge. I need to know the name of a friend.”

“No you don’t, Pyle. What I need to know is if you finished that song I told you to write for the whole camp. So we can sing it when we’re marching. At night. When no one else is listening. To drive home the point of this whole operation. In case any other dino is getting any ideas about making friends. Did you finish it?

“Sure, Sarge. Just like you wanted it.”

“Good, now don’t forget to sing it in your jim-dandy, right-neighbourly voice. And that’s an order!” 

Dealing down ‘n’ dirty, rookies on the scene

Wet behind the ears in their l’il wet dream 

They want a little play time and they took the bait

I can’t see the bloodshed if I keep lookin’ straight

Fill my eyes with that tunnel vision

In disguise with that tunnel vision

Ooh, these weekend wannabes, it’s better them than me

My tunnel vision is the test of me!

We are only here to, to plant the seed

Chaos is bracing, we just give it what it needs

Tonight’s the fight, the newbies think they’re gonna win it

We’ll sit and watch from outside the city limit

Fill my eyes with that tunnel vision

In disguise with that tunnel vision

Ooh, these weekend wannabes, it’s better them than me

My tunnel vision always seems to be the test of me, the test of me! 

Ooh, tunnel vision

I need my tunnel vision

Ooh, it helps me forget the dead, forgettin’ all of the dead

I got my tunnel vision

Seeing tunnel-tunnel 

Ooh, my tunnel vision

Ooh, tunnel vision

I got tunnel vision


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Donald Trump Humor The T-Rump Dig

Summer of No Sunshine …

It was the opening night of the Grandoldparty National Conference at the Andrewmelanoma Cavern. The Tyrumposaurus’ son, T-Rump Jr. approached the flat rock lectern. The dinos in the front row were taken aback by his teary-eyed status. They looked and agreed with each other that he must be crying inside because no tears were coming forth.

“Good evening, I’m Donny T-Rump and my father is leader of Dino Nation so I get to speak on the first night. I was planning to speak right before my father on the last night, but the Tyvanka wanted that spot. So, here I am. I’m okay with it. I’m not crying. Really.”

“I wanted to open by talking about unity and opportunity, to give you that, um … warm and fuzzy feeling like when you’ve just been handed a lot of moolah-moolah leaves? I know this may surprise you, but I’m always preaching togetherness. Saying nice things. But that damn Joebiden, his radical leftwing policies would stop our dino jobs cold. He wants to shut Dino Nation down again. Who shuts down Dino Nation twice in a pandemic? Damn! I said the p-word. You weren’t supposed to hear that. Can we start this over again? No?”

“Okay, okay. Look, my main squeeze is over there. Hi, Kimberly. Smile at everyone so they’ll forget. Great. Thanks. Back to me. The Joebiden. He is going to crush the average working dino. I know we’ve been calling him feeble and inept and cowering in his dark, subterranean cave, but read my eyes … he is going to crush you!

“You know, when I open my mouth in our home cave, my dad will make fun of me — dad sarcasm I call it — and yes, sometimes he tells me I’m talking nonsense and to shut the hell up. You should hear what he says to Eric. Anyway, my point is, he will treat you better than me. Yeah, his own son. Because the Grandoldparty is the home of free speech. Just don’t get in the way of my old man when he wants to cross the path to point to the sky at some heavenly body. We had to tell him it wasn’t a woman. Yeah!”

“But the Milkanhoney Preservation is the greatest place on earth. My father’s entire worldview, you know, the four places he can pick out, it really goes back to that famous quote from the Johneffkennedy, “Ask not what your dino nation can do for you but what you can do for my dad. He says you can always do better.”

“That means rejecting the radicals that want to drag us into the dark, down some path and do unspeakable things to us that well meaning conspiracy theorists on our side will then have a field day with. …. Uh, what’s that? Kimberly is making eye contact with me like she said she would if I, uh … entered a danger zone.”

He winked at her.

“Thanks, honey. My main squeeze, everyone. A bright, beautiful future is in store for us with my wife. I mean my dad. We need my father for four more years. That is, if you want a great job. Like I have. A beautiful cave. Like mine. And a perfect family and perfect partner. Me again. Kimberly, get up here and prove me wrong. Dinos! My beautiful, perfect not-yet-but-maybe-wife, the Kimberlyguilfoyle!”

Kimberly tromped over to the flat rock lectern. They went to kiss each other on the cheek but weren’t in sync. They bumped heads instead.   

“Uh, ohmigod, hello, everyone. I’m the Kimberlyguilfoyle, that’s right, the Gavinnewsom’s ex. We were married for five years. Then I married the Ericvillency for three years. That makes my average marriage four years. Do you want me for another four years?”

Bizarre looks from the crowd.

“Of course you do. Because I know a winner when I see one. The T-Rump! And Junior of course. I want to say right up front that I, like my husband and the T-Rump and every last dino who sips from the swamp, we’re all really, really sweet dinos with only nice things to say. That’s us. We want to welcome all dinos into this deep-rooted, heart-warming, transactional relationship.”

“The nicest thing I can say about the Joebiden is that he is a socialist comrade. He would swim backwards … underwater with his legs tied together by his tail … to Cuba-Scuba and Venezuela-Wayla …to bring back their destructive, socialist policies. The Joebiden and company won’t wait for an earthquake. No way. He wants to destroy Dino Nation and everything that we have fought for and hold dear right now. He wants to take the dirt from the floor of your cave. The dirt from your floor! You might go outside and get some more, but that was special dirt! You walked on it! It had that … feeling between your toes, right?”

“They want to control what you see. What you think. What you believe. They want to get inside your head. Inside your walnut. Who are these people? They want to control how you live. Remember the dirt. Louder, dinos! Remember the dirt!”

Several dinos had worried looks on their faces. Donny Jr. looked like he was crying and smiling at the same time, the happy tears trapped in his eyeballs. Kimberly was just warming up.

“The T-Rump said what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening. I’m sorry, but we cannot be more transparent than that. We really can’t. Blame it on the Joebiden. We no longer know what we’re doing because their actions are so diabolical they’re brainwashing us.”

The T-Rump Jr.’s main squeeze looked like her brain was being squeezed, caught in some obscene exorcism with the devil winning.

“They want to enslave us all to the weak, dependent, liberal, victim ideology — only red dinos can be victims. I know, it’s confusing. To the point you will not recognize Dino Nation or yourself, or your children or the dirt on your own floor.”

She turned to Donny Jr.

“You still recognize, don’t you? Donny?”

“What, the dirt on the floor?”

“Me, dummy!”

He tromped back to the lectern.

“I – I recognize you. Sure I do. At least I think I do. Baby, you need some hydroxychloroquine. So your eyes can be like mine. We’re in this together, Kimmy. Say, are you okay to sing? Because it’s time to sing our song.”

“I don’t know. I’m hearing voices in my head. Those damn Donkeykongrus. You go ahead, Donny, I’m with you in spirit.”

“Spirit, you say? Nothing else?”

She nodded hopefully.

“Okay, pumpkin squashy-kins. The Donkeykongrus can have their stupid, silly summer of love. We know better, don’t we? Hit it!”

We got to be real right-wing

Bought into a life of crime

Stayed quiet as Covid spread

It’s the summer of no sunshine

We’re not too wise, but cruel

Had a plan to change the old guard

Daddy’s it, justice got buried

Joebiden is the Loch Ness Monster

Oh, he’ll drag us back now

This summer of no fun forever

Cuz Joe would take your voice

Yeah, he’s always lurking in there

These are the worst days of your life

You need some more explainin’

Look at what they put you through

Spending the days trapped in your cave then

There’s somethin’ you can do, yeah

Standin’ with your Tiki torch

Pretend you’re on our southern border

Oh, we’re gonna make our stand

You know there is no law and order

These are the worst days of your life

Oh, yeah

Here in the summer of no sunshine, oh!

Man, re-election time

This is Biden’s madness

My old man’s doing fine

His tweets do not harass, whatever, whatever, no!



We’re gonna be life-changin’

Have four years really come and gone?

While my dad worked on his back-swing

Just look at all Joebiden did wrong

Standin’ with your Tiki torch

Pretend you’re on our southern border

Oh, we’re gonna make our stand

You know there is no law and order

These are the worst days of your life

Oh, yeah

Here in the summer of no sunshine, oh

It is the summer of no sunshine, oh, yeah

Me and Kimberly with no sunshine, oh

It is the summer

The summer, the summer of no sunshine, yeah


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Donald Trump Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Send in the Clowns …

“Good evening. I’m Wolfblitzer and I have breaking news because, unfortunately, these are the times we live in. The Jimacosta, the Andersoncooper and the Jaketapper join me as we set the stage here at the Andrewmelanoma Cavern for the Grandoldparty National Conference. First off, my heart goes out to the 175,000 plus dinos who have passed away from the Coronavirus because that is the last mention of this tragedy you will hear from the Tyrumposaurus and his followers. Jim, what can we expect tonight and for the next four days, barring the earth opening up and swallowing us all?”

“Thank you, Wolf. The T-Rump believes more of him is evidently better, so he will be speaking every night. That’s right. Every single night. Will he say the same thing? That would save us time, wouldn’t it? He’s calling himself the Talent in Chief. My sources are saying we are looking at a 4-day seminar in Acute Narcissism. Can he explain away the mess he has left in his wake over the past four years? Oh, wait, I just spotted the Marthamcsally. Let me get her thoughts on this.” 

The Jimacosta moved into position.

“Martha, one moment, please. Jimacosta, Truth be Told Mediacircustops. What are you doing here?”

“What do you think, bozo? I see dinos. They have to eat. We all do. All I’m doing is asking them to starve themselves for two — three hours, tops! — and give me their moolah-moolah leaves instead. The Markkelly is killing me! By the way, did you eat yet?”

“Uh, no. Back to you, Wolf.”

“Thanks, Jim. That was truly disturbing, indeed. Anderson, the T-Rump camp has promised some break-out stars in their dino speaker line-up. I’m not sure if they meant breakout as in jail break, but perhaps we could do a quick recap of some of these speakers for our audience. I’ll give you the name and you give our audience a brief response. Word association, if you will, in the interests of time and my incredulity.”

“Be still my beating heart.”  

“The Mincepencenow.”

“This is his warm-up for the Kamalaharris debate. She’ll win and she’s not even here.”

“The Tomcotton.”

“He thought buying Greenland was a good idea.”

“Good lord. The Nikkihaley.”

“What’s a nice girl like her … I’m sorry. The Mencepencenow is really sweating by now.”

“The Kellyanneconvixway, who just quit I might add.”

“Yes, funny, how a large audience and potential criminal charges weasel their way in. The Donkeykongrus scored another win and this isn’t even their conference.”

“The Rudygiuliani.”

“Bless his heart. The resolute rabbit hole diver taking a rare day off.”

“The Mccloskeysaurae from Saint-Louis-Phooey.”

“Wolf, let’s hope security is tight. We don’t want to see any dinos hurt.”

“No, of course we don’t. Next is the Nicholassandmann.”

“We only have his silent, grinning mug to go by. Perhaps he will give us a stirring tribute to our fine Indigenosaurae. Then again. Perhaps not.”

“Anderson, this is truly amazing. There are no less than six Tyrumposaurae on the schedule. Let’s start with Melania.”

“Let’s be serious, Wolf. She won’t be speaking. She doesn’t want to upstage her new rose garden.”

“A thorny issue there. Donald Jr.”

“According to him, the Donkeykongrus have fully embraced the Communistmanifesty dino species.”

“It certainly appears that way, doesn’t it? Let’s not forget Eric.”

“Next. I don’t traffic in Qanonymousarus theories.”

“Fair enough. And Tiffany?”

“Why is she even here?”

“Thank you for your valuable insight, Anderson. We are all smarter for it. Your thoughts, Jake? I noticed there is a melodic element traveling beneath my words. Yes, it is breaking news, everyone. The Jaketapper is going to sing.”

He isn’t rich

Can’t grow a pair

Speakers at last he has found

Are all hot air

Send in the clowns

This is death’s kiss

Who could approve?

Those who keep spreading around

The virus lies prove

They know no bounds

Send in the clowns

Can they be stopped? … Down on all fours

I pray the world might only hear their listeners’ snores

The new fascist right wing, a new vacant stare

Nothing is fine

No one is there

This is a farce

Let me be clear

If they’re all autistic savants

Then, then I won’t jeer

It’s all upside down

Send in the clowns

God help us, they’re here

He isn’t rich

But quick to smear

Turning to Loudobbs this late in his career

All falling down

These are his best clowns

Please be their last year


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Humor Satire The T-Rump Dig

Another crook in the wall …

“Ah, don’t you love the smelly aftermath of an Obamarus speech in the morning? And his wife too. Going tag team against the T-Rump.”

The Stevebannon held court under a new day’s dawn before two dozen Qanonymousarus dinos gathered around him on the Connect-the-dots coast line. He had them hanging on every word.

“They called out their best dinos, they did. A pair of lame-stream legends with some elite emotions to give you the warm and fuzzies until you cried those silly crocodilly tears. I have to admit. I was crying too. Because I was laughing so hard.”

He waited for a chuckle. Or a guffaw. None came. Of course not. Qanonymousarus dinos had no sense of humor. Their tiny walnuts spent each waking moment trying to link, one-by-one, their crazy, cryptic clues to some deep state master plan. The more wild the conspiracy, the more profound the research. There was not a moment to waste. Certainly no time to laugh. The Stevebannon reveled in propagating the myth, grinning devilishly as it snowballed into insanity.

“And the Postalsaurae. Just look at them. It’s scandalous — pure larceny — how they’ve have stolen our correspondence of Novembers past. Fraudulent. They’re all frauds! O-o-o-o-o-h, I hate frauds. They will do anything to stop the T-Rump from ruling the land. That’s why we have to keep the Postalsaurae in check. Slow ‘em down. Send ‘em home. Buh-bye.” 

There was dino murmuring as a smart-looking female dino stepped into the gathering. It was the prominent legal dino, the Audreystrauss, just in from the Manhatinhand region dino court. The Stevebannon’s eyes narrowed.

“Who are you?”

“I’m here for the Postalsaurae.”


“Yes. You are under arrest.”

“Hah! Surely you jest.”

“I told you my name is Audrey.”

“What’s the charge, Audrey?”

“You were mentioning fraud? That’s one. And we also have you on that popular T-Rump pastime that happens so often you’d think it was government policy.”

“What’s that?”

“Washing your moolah-moolah leaves on the wrong banks. That is, moolah-moolah laundering. Again.”

The Stevebannon coughed.

“I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong dino.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. In fact, I’m so sure, I’m going to sing you a song about it.”

She turned to the Qanonymousarus dinos, who leaned forward as one, cocking their ears and salivating, drooling for any wayward, wild hints they could weave into their tall and growing taller deep state tale.

We don’t need no fake foundation

We don’t need no Bannon mole

Welcome to your dark, legal doom

Like Flynn, Gates and Rogerstone

Hey! Grifter! Your crimes have come home!

All in all, you’re just another crook in the wall

All in all, you’re just another crook in the wall

You took millions in donations 

Do you really have no soul?

You’re now headed to the courtroom

Like Manafort and Michaelcohen

Hey! Grifter! This is your new home!

All in all, you’re just another crook in the wall

All in all, you’re just another crook in the wall


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

DeJoy Should Be Hurled …

The Tyrumposaurus was on the warpath. Again.

“Dammit! They’ve got the Michelleobama, the Berniesanders and the Johnkasich speaking at their big convention. Who do we have? We have to be better. Bigger!”

“Well,” the Markmeadows began delicately as a parent might to a spoiled brat. “We have, uh … the feisty Ronnamcdaniel, and the Jimjordan is always looking very rabid. And don’t forget the stop-right-there Dougcollins. They always get the dinos riled up. Heh-heh.”

“B-o-o-o-o-r-i-n-g. We need something else. We have a lot of deflection to take care of with all this Louisdejoy backlash. I actually went ahead and admitted I’m slowing down the Postalsaurae services — because I can — and you’d think they were gone already. What is wrong with Dino Nation? Have they never heard of or seen the onset of tyranny before? I control the dinos. I control the shots. If they’re not willing to vote for me, then maybe we just shouldn’t have the vote.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far, T-Rump. You’re making some of our own Grandoldparty dinos nervous.”

“Good. They should be. The Putinodon can get away with it. Why can’t I?”

The Markmeadows hemmed and hawed. These Russodino conversations before the November battle always made him nervous.

“What about entertainment? Who do we have? Tell me we have some pretty girl.”

“Not exactly. We have the Tednugent and the Kidrock. That’s the Kidrock and the Tednugent.”

“Just because you say them twice doesn’t mean we have four to choose from.”

“Uh, well … I’m afraid those are the only two dinos who want to sing for you and will do it for free. Every other dino wants to bite your head off for playing their music at your events.”

“Why is that? Look at the polls. I’m only 4 percent behind the Joebiden.”

“I – I don’t know what to say. Maybe those are polls your Russodino pals are …”

“Don’t you go there. I won four years ago fair and square. Just because I’ve talked to the Putinodon half a dozen times in the past month. Hah! You know what he told me?”


“He said, you see what’s happening in Belarussy? That could be you next. Me! He was talking about me. It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? A large uprising needing the Ericprince’s little green dinos will have to come in to put to rest. Sportland and Chicagoland were just the warm-up. Think  about it Mark, the Putinodon is going to help me win!” 

“But you just said.”

“Forget what I said. I did. Anything to win, Mark. Anything. Remember that. Now then, my entertainment. Who’s my entertainment?”

The Markmeadows agonized, trying to squeeze blood from a stone.

“Well … let’s see … um, there’s this group of dinos, the uh … Threedognight species. Grizzled veterans. They can be controversial at times. Hoo-boy. They have this new remake of an oldie goldie. About the Louisdejoy?”

“Great guy. Haven’t even had to say I don’t know him yet. But you did say controversial. C’mon, now. That’s just the new word for misinformation. Let’s hear it.”

Louis was his latest lapdog

A toady with no spine

He raised alarms with everything he did

He put the post office in decline

And he said everything would be fine

Singin’ DeJoy should be hurled

Got to save the world now

DeJoy has issues that we all can see

DeJoy’s on a crime spree

If I could get your toes uncurled

Tell you what he’ll do

He’ll throw away the ballots, the boxes, the service

And blame it all on you

Sing it now, DeJoy should be hurled

Got to save the world

DeJoy has issues that we all can see

DeJoy’s on a crime spree

You know he lives in Hades

For all he has done

He’s a low-life shyster and a plain insider

About as subtle as Attila the Hun

I said as subtle as Attila the Hun

DeJoy should be hurled

Got to save the world

DeJoy has issues that we all can see

DeJoy’s on a crime spree

DeJoy should be hurled

Got to save the world

DeJoy has issues that we all can see

DeJoy’s on a crime spree


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Humor Political Satire

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1299 & 1303

This week’s twofer podcast features Day 1299 — “The Fix is In” … There’s simply no hiding the T-Rump’s confidence … and Day 1303 — “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” … With the Kamalaharris having entered the fray, the Mincepencenow and Mother do some serious soul searching. … Hearty dino tail wags to Glenn Frey and The Clash. Enjoy!

Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Should I Stay or Should I Go? …

It was a tense morning in the Mincepencenow cave. Mike and Mother had slept little the previous night. The naming of the Kamalaharris as the Joebiden’s running mate in the upcoming November battle weighed heavily upon their minds. Mother looked at her husband of 35 years and steeled herself to press forward no matter what Q-Anonymousarus dino had entered the Grandoldparty swamp water circles or however many key Postalsaurae dinos were told to go home and stay in their caves until further notice.

There would be three debates between the T-Rump and the Joebiden but only one between their right-hand dinos, the Mincepencenow and the Kamalaharris.

“Only one debate, Mike. Only one.”

“You say that so easily. You don’t have to debate her. What am I going to say?”

“What you always say.”

“That I worship every square inch of the ground the T-Rump walks on?”

“It’s worked so far. Look, by the time your debate rolls around in October, there will be no Postalsaurae left. Our word-of-mouth early voting system will effectively be shut down. Couple that with the Covid virus ravaging Dino Nation and the dino tots all cave quarantined because the T-Rump purposely did nothing to try and save 165,000 dino lives. This perfect storm gets more perfect by the day. No, the Joebiden and that phoney-boney Kamalaharris will be too late with all their late game magic to try and turn this thing around. The T-Rump has laid the nation’s carcass bare and we will be there to smell, lick and devour the spoils. You can talk about the wonders of slurping that yucky pond scum Hydroxicholorquine for all I care, this is a done deal.”

“But I don’t know anything about Hydroxichloroquine.”

“Oh, that’s right. Even though you’re the lead dino on the Covid task force, you apparently can’t delegate in a debate. We’ll have to work on that one. No problem. Just start blaming the Obamarus and whatever you do, don’t stop. The Donkeykongrus have caused every problem known to the Dino Nation for the past 50 million years. You hear me?”

“Yes, mother. But …”

“But what?”

“The T-Rump is going to want me to, you know …”

“Talk about him?”

“That’s all I do. That’s all I’ve ever had to do. It’s worked so far, hasn’t it?”

“Yes, dear. But these are tough times.”

“With Covid?”

“No, the general distaste for the T-Rump. But we must keep our eye on the prizes corruption brings us and forge ahead.”

“I guess. I’ll try. I know. I’ll work through the debate issue. I can set it to music to help me focus better.”

“That’s the ticket. Let me know when you’re done.”

“Oh, I’m done right now. I stayed up all night, remember? It’s all pretty crystal clear.”


Mother, you got to let me know

Should I stay or should I go?

If you say that I’ll be fine

You haven’t seen her tackle crime

I didn’t sign up for this show

Should I stay or should I go?

Life was a breeze, breeze, breeze

T-Rump just liked me on my knees

One day it’s Joe and then she’s back

She will expose me as a hack

Why can’t I just tell her no?

Should I stay or should I go?

Should I stay or should I go now?

Should I debate? I don’t know how.

Kamala will give me trouble

That’s why I’ll need to find a bubble

Can’t get sick so I can’t go

This near collision’s bugging me

Just thinking of her makes me pee

She already sees right through me

I’m just your wannabe vee pee

A yes man can’t say no

I know they’re gonna think I’m slow

O-o-h, n-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Should I stay or should I go now?

Should I debate? I don’t know how.

Kamala will give me trouble

That’s why I’ll need to find a bubble

Will we land out on skid row?

She has a much better bi-oh

Should I stay or should I go now?

Kamala will give me trouble

That’s why I’ll need to find a bubble

A yes man can’t say no

Should I stay or should I go?


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!