Categories
Humor Satire The T-Rump Dig

Another crook in the wall …

“Ah, don’t you love the smelly aftermath of an Obamarus speech in the morning? And his wife too. Going tag team against the T-Rump.”

The Stevebannon held court under a new day’s dawn before two dozen Qanonymousarus dinos gathered around him on the Connect-the-dots coast line. He had them hanging on every word.

“They called out their best dinos, they did. A pair of lame-stream legends with some elite emotions to give you the warm and fuzzies until you cried those silly crocodilly tears. I have to admit. I was crying too. Because I was laughing so hard.”

He waited for a chuckle. Or a guffaw. None came. Of course not. Qanonymousarus dinos had no sense of humor. Their tiny walnuts spent each waking moment trying to link, one-by-one, their crazy, cryptic clues to some deep state master plan. The more wild the conspiracy, the more profound the research. There was not a moment to waste. Certainly no time to laugh. The Stevebannon reveled in propagating the myth, grinning devilishly as it snowballed into insanity.

“And the Postalsaurae. Just look at them. It’s scandalous — pure larceny — how they’ve have stolen our correspondence of Novembers past. Fraudulent. They’re all frauds! O-o-o-o-o-h, I hate frauds. They will do anything to stop the T-Rump from ruling the land. That’s why we have to keep the Postalsaurae in check. Slow ‘em down. Send ‘em home. Buh-bye.” 

There was dino murmuring as a smart-looking female dino stepped into the gathering. It was the prominent legal dino, the Audreystrauss, just in from the Manhatinhand region dino court. The Stevebannon’s eyes narrowed.

“Who are you?”

“I’m here for the Postalsaurae.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. You are under arrest.”

“Hah! Surely you jest.”

“I told you my name is Audrey.”

“What’s the charge, Audrey?”

“You were mentioning fraud? That’s one. And we also have you on that popular T-Rump pastime that happens so often you’d think it was government policy.”

“What’s that?”

“Washing your moolah-moolah leaves on the wrong banks. That is, moolah-moolah laundering. Again.”

The Stevebannon coughed.

“I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong dino.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. In fact, I’m so sure, I’m going to sing you a song about it.”

She turned to the Qanonymousarus dinos, who leaned forward as one, cocking their ears and salivating, drooling for any wayward, wild hints they could weave into their tall and growing taller deep state tale.

We don’t need no fake foundation

We don’t need no Bannon mole

Welcome to your dark, legal doom

Like Flynn, Gates and Rogerstone

Hey! Grifter! Your crimes have come home!

All in all, you’re just another crook in the wall

All in all, you’re just another crook in the wall

You took millions in donations 

Do you really have no soul?

You’re now headed to the courtroom

Like Manafort and Michaelcohen

Hey! Grifter! This is your new home!

All in all, you’re just another crook in the wall

All in all, you’re just another crook in the wall

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1208 & 1212

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-k3n2q-dcae5e

This week’s two T-Rump Traxx: Day 1208 — “Super Spreader Plan” … The Katiemiller is a dino on a mission! … and Day 1212 — “Time” … The Rickbright speaks out but is any dino listening? … Tail wags to Johnny Rivers and Pink Floyd, circa 1966-1973.

Categories
Humor Satire The T-Rump Dig

Time …

With a whack of her tail, the dino meeting came to order.

“Okay! Time for everybody to find a place to squat. Welcome, I’m the Annaeshoo, chairwoman dino of the God, Give Us Energy to Survive T-Rump sub-committee. Our star guest on hand today is the heroic, courageous and all around nice dino, the Rickbright, who was unceremoniously drummed out of BARDA — that is, Bugs And Really Dangerous Aromas. Good day and welcome.” 

A few dinos still milled around.

“Okay, I said find a place to squat. I’m not going to talk with Grandoldparty dinos wandering around. Show some respect, would you? I don’t get up and prance around while you’re speaking. So help me, I will sound the Gong of Shame on you.”

The milling continued. She stepped on the tail of Gong, a small dinosaur with an ominous-sounding yelp.

“B-A-A-A-A-A-R-R-R-O-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-M!”

“There, satisfied? You have been officially shamed. Now squat, dammit.”

Still milling.

“B-A-A-A-A-A-R-R-R-O-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-M!”

“A typical Grandoldparty dino. Has to be told three times to do anything.”

The dinos ignored her. She could only shake her head.

“B-A-A-A-A-A-R-R-R-O-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-M!”

“Shamed again. I’ll keep doing it. Because I’m not going to let you sidetrack my meeting.”

She continued the Gong of  Shame intermittently for effect. On principle.

“Alright, let’s get busy. I’ll recognize myself first because we want to begin this meeting on a happy, non-whiny note. We’re here today because the T-Rump sat on his duff for five weeks, allowing the Coronavirus to ravage Dino Nation. With 85,000 dead dinos, you might say he does not have our best interests at heart. I’d better throw it over to the other side now before I say something I’ll really regret. The, uh, ranking minority dino … the Michaelburgess, your opening statement.”

“Thank you, madam chairwoman dino. And those will be the last nice words I’ll toss your way today because the T-Rump told me to despise you until the end of time.”

“Now why would the T-Rump do that?”

“I don’t ask. I’m scared to death of him.”

“Well, I call the shots here. Your lack of respect has just cost you your remaining four minutes.”

“Hey!”

“Hey, yourself. I will now allow the –”

“Excuse me, madame chairwoman dino.”

It was the Gregwalden of the Oregon Wail-Trail

“I have a bone of contention. The Rickbright brought his legal dino with him and I don’t know her from a hole in the ground and I don’t know what capacity either of them are in here today. Is he private? Public? Are they sleeping together?”

“And you just lost the rest of your time. I think it’s time we went to you, Rickbright. Talk to us. I’m going to enjoy this.”

And the Rickbright rose.

 

Ticking away the fomenting that shakes T-Rump’s day

Twitter and waste the hours in an obscene way

Kicking around a game plan to save your home town

Waiting for someone — anyone — to show you the way

 

Tired of staying in the shadows, quiet, masked to watch the pain

The young and old, weak and strong, two thousand more killed today

And then one day you find the virus always finds you 

No one told us when to run, we missed the starting gun

 

So I run and I run to let them all know what I’m thinking

Racing around, I come up and remind them again

The plan is the same in an organized way for the older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

 

Every day is getting shorter, T-Rump can’t find the time

Plans we have that came to naught because of all his vacant lies

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the humane way

The lives are gone, and more soon over 

Yes, I had so much to say

 

Home

Home again

We have to stay there

That’s the plan

 

When we stay home

Bold, united

The truth to warm our souls

Forget the liar

Who today

Sets them afield

From where they dwell pell-mell 

Calls them to breathe as they please

We fear this mad, unbroken, tragic hell

 

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!