Humor Satire The T-Rump Dig

Time …

With a whack of her tail, the dino meeting came to order.
“Okay! Time for everybody to find a place to squat. Welcome, I’m the Annaeshoo, chairwoman dino of the God, Give Us Energy to Survive T-Rump sub-committee.

With a whack of her tail, the dino meeting came to order.

“Okay! Time for everybody to find a place to squat. Welcome, I’m the Annaeshoo, chairwoman dino of the God, Give Us Energy to Survive T-Rump sub-committee. Our star guest on hand today is the heroic, courageous and all around nice dino, the Rickbright, who was unceremoniously drummed out of BARDA — that is, Bugs And Really Dangerous Aromas. Good day and welcome.” 

A few dinos still milled around.

“Okay, I said find a place to squat. I’m not going to talk with Grandoldparty dinos wandering around. Show some respect, would you? I don’t get up and prance around while you’re speaking. So help me, I will sound the Gong of Shame on you.”

The milling continued. She stepped on the tail of Gong, a small dinosaur with an ominous-sounding yelp.


“There, satisfied? You have been officially shamed. Now squat, dammit.”

Still milling.


“A typical Grandoldparty dino. Has to be told three times to do anything.”

The dinos ignored her. She could only shake her head.


“Shamed again. I’ll keep doing it. Because I’m not going to let you sidetrack my meeting.”

She continued the Gong of  Shame intermittently for effect. On principle.

“Alright, let’s get busy. I’ll recognize myself first because we want to begin this meeting on a happy, non-whiny note. We’re here today because the T-Rump sat on his duff for five weeks, allowing the Coronavirus to ravage Dino Nation. With 85,000 dead dinos, you might say he does not have our best interests at heart. I’d better throw it over to the other side now before I say something I’ll really regret. The, uh, ranking minority dino … the Michaelburgess, your opening statement.”

“Thank you, madam chairwoman dino. And those will be the last nice words I’ll toss your way today because the T-Rump told me to despise you until the end of time.”

“Now why would the T-Rump do that?”

“I don’t ask. I’m scared to death of him.”

“Well, I call the shots here. Your lack of respect has just cost you your remaining four minutes.”


“Hey, yourself. I will now allow the –”

“Excuse me, madame chairwoman dino.”

It was the Gregwalden of the Oregon Wail-Trail

“I have a bone of contention. The Rickbright brought his legal dino with him and I don’t know her from a hole in the ground and I don’t know what capacity either of them are in here today. Is he private? Public? Are they sleeping together?”

“And you just lost the rest of your time. I think it’s time we went to you, Rickbright. Talk to us. I’m going to enjoy this.”

And the Rickbright rose.


Ticking away the fomenting that shakes T-Rump’s day

Twitter and waste the hours in an obscene way

Kicking around a game plan to save your home town

Waiting for someone — anyone — to show you the way


Tired of staying in the shadows, quiet, masked to watch the pain

The young and old, weak and strong, two thousand more killed today

And then one day you find the virus always finds you 

No one told us when to run, we missed the starting gun


So I run and I run to let them all know what I’m thinking

Racing around, I come up and remind them again

The plan is the same in an organized way for the older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death


Every day is getting shorter, T-Rump can’t find the time

Plans we have that came to naught because of all his vacant lies

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the humane way

The lives are gone, and more soon over 

Yes, I had so much to say



Home again

We have to stay there

That’s the plan


When we stay home

Bold, united

The truth to warm our souls

Forget the liar

Who today

Sets them afield

From where they dwell pell-mell 

Calls them to breathe as they please

We fear this mad, unbroken, tragic hell



You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

By David Belisle

I'm a novelist and screenwriter in search of the Great Guffaw. It's kind of like getting hit with a bucket of Gatorade. It's a good time that sticks with you.

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