Two security detail dinos, the Joefriday and the Dicktracy, fidgeted nervously off to the side of the Patchy Grassanweeds party being held behind the Oval Dwelling. It was by invitation only. They tried looking tough while blending into the background — a near impossible task for a dinosaur. The Joefriday finally broke their sacred code of silence.
“What’s the double-secret password today again?”
“Hocus-pocus Diplodocus.”
“That was yesterday. It’s T-Rump bump in the night, right?”
“No, that’s the Tymelania’s emergency alert. I think it’s …”
“Can it,” said the Joefriday. “Just the facts and we lost the only one we had. Dammit. Everything the T-Rump touches dies.”
“Are we gonna die, Joe?”
“Not unless we keep six feet apart. Back up a bit. Look, here they come.” He nuzzled his snout into his armpit. “The pterodactyl has landed. Repeat, the pterodactyl has landed.”
“Joe, uh … why are you talking into your armpit?”
“Because it muzzles my voice and drives the women crazy.”
“Oh. Say, isn’t that the Katiemiller?”
“Sure is. Now there goes one of the great mysteries of our time. Right up there with the chicken and the egg.”
“I’ll say. Does she even like Stephen Miller or is he blackmailing her?”
They kept their eyes trained on her, pausing every ten seconds to scan the audience as per security regulations. Deep down they enthused about this on-the-job perk of girl-watching. The Joefriday snapped to attention.
“Did you see that?”
“What?”
“She just stepped within three feet of the ambassador dino to Lower Slobovia. Three feet, Dick.”
“And she’s not covering her mouth. She’s slobbering, Joe. Sloppy, super sloppy slobbering.”
“That’s a tough one, Dick. Natural reaction and all. But — hold on. Did she just spit at his feet? This is one sick Dino Nation. Did you see that look in her eye? Smells like premeditation to me. That makes one more fact staring us in the face.”
“Oh no, Joe. Not another conspiracy.”
“Let’s move.”
“Right behind you, Joe. In fact, I — I think I’m gonna sing …”
There’s a gal who sneaks up like a stranger
And all the while, she’s trying to endanger
With every cough she takes
Another hand she shakes
Odds are they’ll be showing signs tomorrow
Super Spreader Plan
Katie Miller can
She’s gonna join her husband in the growing hall of shame
Look beyond her pretty face and you’ll find
She’s taking out all our scientific minds
Oh, C-D-C and F-D-A
She’s breathing on you today
Odds are you’ll be showing signs tomorrow
Super Spreader Plan
Katie Miller can
She’s gonna join her husband in the growing hall of shame
Super Spreader Plan
Katie Miller can
She’s gonna join her husband in the growing hall of shame
Wishing for the Irish luck one day
Good sons and daughters, you may kneel down to pray
Oh, if she gives the guards the slip
And plants one on ol’ T-Rump’s lips
Odds are he’ll be showing signs tomorrow
Super Spreader Plan
Katie Miller can
She’s gonna join her husband in the growing hall of shame
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 