Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

DeJoy Should Be Hurled …

The Tyrumposaurus was on the warpath. Again.

“Dammit! They’ve got the Michelleobama, the Berniesanders and the Johnkasich speaking at their big convention. Who do we have? We have to be better. Bigger!”

“Well,” the Markmeadows began delicately as a parent might to a spoiled brat. “We have, uh … the feisty Ronnamcdaniel, and the Jimjordan is always looking very rabid. And don’t forget the stop-right-there Dougcollins. They always get the dinos riled up. Heh-heh.”

“B-o-o-o-o-r-i-n-g. We need something else. We have a lot of deflection to take care of with all this Louisdejoy backlash. I actually went ahead and admitted I’m slowing down the Postalsaurae services — because I can — and you’d think they were gone already. What is wrong with Dino Nation? Have they never heard of or seen the onset of tyranny before? I control the dinos. I control the shots. If they’re not willing to vote for me, then maybe we just shouldn’t have the vote.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far, T-Rump. You’re making some of our own Grandoldparty dinos nervous.”

“Good. They should be. The Putinodon can get away with it. Why can’t I?”

The Markmeadows hemmed and hawed. These Russodino conversations before the November battle always made him nervous.

“What about entertainment? Who do we have? Tell me we have some pretty girl.”

“Not exactly. We have the Tednugent and the Kidrock. That’s the Kidrock and the Tednugent.”

“Just because you say them twice doesn’t mean we have four to choose from.”

“Uh, well … I’m afraid those are the only two dinos who want to sing for you and will do it for free. Every other dino wants to bite your head off for playing their music at your events.”

“Why is that? Look at the polls. I’m only 4 percent behind the Joebiden.”

“I – I don’t know what to say. Maybe those are polls your Russodino pals are …”

“Don’t you go there. I won four years ago fair and square. Just because I’ve talked to the Putinodon half a dozen times in the past month. Hah! You know what he told me?”


“He said, you see what’s happening in Belarussy? That could be you next. Me! He was talking about me. It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? A large uprising needing the Ericprince’s little green dinos will have to come in to put to rest. Sportland and Chicagoland were just the warm-up. Think  about it Mark, the Putinodon is going to help me win!” 

“But you just said.”

“Forget what I said. I did. Anything to win, Mark. Anything. Remember that. Now then, my entertainment. Who’s my entertainment?”

The Markmeadows agonized, trying to squeeze blood from a stone.

“Well … let’s see … um, there’s this group of dinos, the uh … Threedognight species. Grizzled veterans. They can be controversial at times. Hoo-boy. They have this new remake of an oldie goldie. About the Louisdejoy?”

“Great guy. Haven’t even had to say I don’t know him yet. But you did say controversial. C’mon, now. That’s just the new word for misinformation. Let’s hear it.”

Louis was his latest lapdog

A toady with no spine

He raised alarms with everything he did

He put the post office in decline

And he said everything would be fine

Singin’ DeJoy should be hurled

Got to save the world now

DeJoy has issues that we all can see

DeJoy’s on a crime spree

If I could get your toes uncurled

Tell you what he’ll do

He’ll throw away the ballots, the boxes, the service

And blame it all on you

Sing it now, DeJoy should be hurled

Got to save the world

DeJoy has issues that we all can see

DeJoy’s on a crime spree

You know he lives in Hades

For all he has done

He’s a low-life shyster and a plain insider

About as subtle as Attila the Hun

I said as subtle as Attila the Hun

DeJoy should be hurled

Got to save the world

DeJoy has issues that we all can see

DeJoy’s on a crime spree

DeJoy should be hurled

Got to save the world

DeJoy has issues that we all can see

DeJoy’s on a crime spree


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!