The Moscowmitch was beside himself with glee. News of the Ruthbaderginsburg’s passing had just reached his cave twenty minutes earlier and he was already planning on filling her vacancy on the Dino Supreme Court. He’d brought together his underlings, a.k.a Sin Hut dinos, in an emergency celebration, ahem … meeting.
“Good things happen in threes,” he exclaimed. “Three justices in four years for the T-Rump. Can you stand it?”
He turned to the Lindseygraham.
“Sorry, Lindsey, I’m afraid I have to ask you one more time, what with you being on the record on both sides of the issue. Can we count on you to vote for our nominee, whomever it may be?’
“For the last time, I told everybody they can forget what I said four years ago. I was rather emphatic about it then. And I’m very emphatic about it now. I’m in, dammit. I’m in. Sheesh. It’s really not that big a deal. A Dino Supreme Court justice. Big whoop.”
“You don’t have a shred of credibility left, do you? Welcome to the true Grandoldparty fold. I believe you’ve finally exorcised all things Johnmccain in whatever soul you have left.”
The Moscowmitch scanned the cave.
“The Susancollins. Where’s the Susancollins?”
“Eh? I’m over here.”
“Susan, what’s this nonsense about you having the tarnation, turkey giblet gall to suggest we should wait until after the November battle to make our gawd-granted decision?”
“You mean, assuming we win?”
“Oh, no you don’t! I won’t have you spoiling our little Supreme Court Opening party. Hold your tongue, Sin Hut dino.”
“Well, I was just saying how unfair it seems. I’ve already downgraded the unfairness from ‘very’ to ‘kind of’. I say there are lessons to be learned here, which puts me w-a-a-a-y ahead of whatever lessons that Betsydevos is doing. I’ve done a good job of saving face in the throes of these Grandoldparty shenanigans by scolding our guilty dinos. And there are so many. Oh, goodness. Did I just say that? But let me be clear. Scolding is all I can do. I rarely if ever follow through on my consternation. It’s a controlled consternation. As well as I can, anyway. Unfortunately, my dinos at home are showing plenty of consternation as well. Not as controlled as mine, it seems. I may even be on my way out. If that happens, will you keep me and feed me, Moscowmitch?”
“Well …”
“Remember, I did vote for impeachment.”
“Oh, look, a fresh batch of Caviarraptor legs have arrived.”
“Where?”
The Moscowmitch used the distraction to exit the conversation. The Corygardner saw him heading his way and quickly exited the cave stage right. The Lisamurkowski wasn’t so lucky.
“Lisa.”
“A-g-g-g-g-h!” She jumped back a foot.
“How much dark moolah-moolah leaves is it going to take to convince you to fall into line on this issue?”
“I’m sorry. Are you speaking to me?”
She was positively trembling. The wild look in her eyes didn’t help matters. The Grandoldparty insiders had a name for her intermittent condition. GONZO … Gawking Openly Netting Zero Output.
“I asked you how much will it take?”
“I – I don’t know what to say.” She looked around and fidgeted nervously. “There’s so many dinos here, close together.”
“Don’t worry. I did saliva tests on most of the dinos before they came in. With my own tongue. See?”
He stuck out his long, discoloured tongue.
“A-g-g-g-g-h!”
The Lisamurkowski recoiled again. With a loud slurp, his tongue recoiled back inside his mouth. She held her short arms to her chest.
“No, you don’t understand. I’m used to being alone, in Athabasca-Alaska.”
“Oh.”
“So, I hope you don’t mind if I brought a friend, the Peterframpton, with me. He’s my therapy dino companion. For those, um … cold, Athabasca-Alaskan nights? And he can sing too.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, he wrote a song about the Ruthbaderginsburg?”
“And I suppose you think I’m going to let him sing it at my Supreme Court Opening party?”
“Would you let him sing if I told you I was a … ‘maybe’?”
“Peter! What are you waiting for?! Sing the damn song!”
You did dare where to go
What you did do
Then you died and left us
Equality
We miss you, R-B-G
We miss you, R-B-G
‘Cause you rose far above
Above what we ever had
Yes, you rose far above
Above what we ever had
They can’t wait to upend
And get hold of
Your old seat, to power
They are clinging
We miss you, R-B-G
We miss you, R-B-G
‘Cause you rose far above
Above what we ever had
You rose far above
Above what we ever had
We’re alarmed when we think
Of this fall
You are why laws were made
From on high
We miss you, R-B-G
We miss you, R-B-G
‘Cause you rose far above
Above what we ever had
Yes, you rose far above
Above what we ever had
You rose far above
Above what we ever had
You did dare where to go
What you did do
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 