“Why did you lie to Dino Nation and why should we trust what you have to say now?”
The question from the Mediacircustops in the front row to the Tyrumposaurus froze the other veteran Mediacircustops. Had the dino gone mad? The Bobwoodward had caught the T-Rump saying he knew how deadly the Coronavirus was back in February but the T-Rump kept that information from the public and instead minimized the virus’ impact. The T-Rump glared at the Mediacircustops, strengthening his grip on the flat rock bully pulpit.
“Look, the Bobwoodward is a dino that I respect, just from hearing his name for many, many, many years. Okay? I hear his name all the time. Now then, I don’t know much about his work. I don’t care about his work. I don’t know why I met him. But I did. I thought it would be interesting and also provide someone to listen to me for, you know, 18 times. So we did that. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I don’t even know if what he’s saying is good or bad. But certainly if he thought that was a bad statement he would’ve reported it.”
“To who?”
“To the authorities.”
“But you are the supreme authority, the leader of the free-running dino world.”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute.”
The T-Rump’s finger jabbed the air, pointing at the accusing Mediacircustops.
“Your question, the way you phrased that, accusing me of lying. That was such a disgrace. Just as the Washingtonpostian dinos have disgraced themselves 20,000 times on my behalf.”
“But you said the virus was five times worse and then you said it was just like the flu. So which is it?”
The T-Rump was foaming at the mouth. He spit out foam, phlegm and the remnants of a half-chewed Cheezbuggabugga.
“It’s very simple. Listen, I want to show a level of confidence and I want to show strength as a leader and I want to show our Dino Nation is fine one way or the other. Whether it’s one dead dino or 180,000 … or two-and-a-half or three million dead dinos, which it could’ve been if I didn’t make the moves I did.”
“I’m sorry, did you just say that three million dead dinos would still give you a level of confidence?”
“Again with the disgrace. It’s a wonder you still have a job. Do you want to know whose fault this really is? The Donkeykongrus. The Nancypelosi, the Chuckschumer and the Bobwoodward for even bringing it up. 18 times. It’s on him. I’m innocent. Just to drive that point home, I will put this another way so you can wrap your small mind around it.”
An ominous sound wound its way through the gathering, the T-Rump scowled and began to sing.
…
I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word
And I’ve been waiting for you, Woodward, for all my life, my word
Can you feel the virus in the air tonight? My word, absurd.
Well, if I told you it was airborne, and it could get out of hand
I also said before, to no end, you might get the sniffles, nothing more than
Well, I was there and I heard what it did, very deadly they did advise
So we know where it’s been, it’ll go away then
These are not a pack of lies
And I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word
Well, I’ve been waiting for this election all my life, my word
I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word, absurd
Well, this November, this November, don’t worry, is it at zero yet?
It’s the worst virus, the worst time we ever met
But O’Brien’s reason is why I had to shut them up, no, they don’t fool me
Well, the hurt doesn’t show, play it down like so
There’s no danger to you and me
I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word
Well, I’ve been hearing that the children will see some strife, my word
I can feel it in the air all right, my word, absurd
Well, I’ve been saying that the children can live their lives, my word
I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word
And I’ve been waiting so long to get on with my life, my word
I can feel it in the air all right, my word, my word, absurd
Well, I’ve been saying it’s not my fault, this loss of life, my word, absurd
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 