Categories
Donald Trump Humor Satire

In the Air All Right …

“Why did you lie to Dino Nation and why should we trust what you have to say now?”

The question from the Mediacircustops in the front row to the Tyrumposaurus froze the other veteran Mediacircustops. Had the dino gone mad? The Bobwoodward had caught the T-Rump saying he knew how deadly the Coronavirus was back in February but the T-Rump kept that information from the public and instead minimized the virus’ impact. The T-Rump glared at the Mediacircustops, strengthening his grip on the flat rock bully pulpit.

“Look, the Bobwoodward is a dino that I respect, just from hearing his name for many, many, many years. Okay? I hear his name all the time. Now then, I don’t know much about his work. I don’t care about his work. I don’t know why I met him. But I did. I thought it would be interesting and also provide someone to listen to me for, you know, 18 times. So we did that. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I don’t even know if what he’s saying is good or bad. But certainly if he thought that was a bad statement he would’ve reported it.”

“To who?”

“To the authorities.”

“But you are the supreme authority, the leader of the free-running dino world.”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute.”

The T-Rump’s finger jabbed the air, pointing at the accusing Mediacircustops.

“Your question, the way you phrased that, accusing me of lying. That was such a disgrace. Just as the Washingtonpostian dinos have disgraced themselves 20,000 times on my behalf.”

“But you said the virus was five times worse and then you said it was just like the flu. So which is it?”

The T-Rump was foaming at the mouth. He spit out foam, phlegm and the remnants of a half-chewed Cheezbuggabugga.

“It’s very simple. Listen, I want to show a level of confidence and I want to show strength as a leader and I want to show our Dino Nation is fine one way or the other. Whether it’s one dead dino or 180,000 … or two-and-a-half or three million dead dinos, which it could’ve been if I didn’t make the moves I did.”

“I’m sorry, did you just say that three million dead dinos would still give you a level of confidence?”

“Again with the disgrace. It’s a wonder you still have a job. Do you want to know whose fault this really is? The Donkeykongrus. The Nancypelosi, the Chuckschumer and the Bobwoodward for even bringing it up. 18 times. It’s on him. I’m innocent. Just to drive that point home, I will put this another way so you can wrap your small mind around it.” 

An ominous sound wound its way through the gathering, the T-Rump scowled and began to sing.  

I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word

And I’ve been waiting for you, Woodward, for all my life, my word

Can you feel the virus in the air tonight? My word, absurd.

Well, if I told you it was airborne, and it could get out of hand

I also said before, to no end, you might get the sniffles, nothing more than

Well, I was there and I heard what it did, very deadly they did advise

So we know where it’s been, it’ll go away then

These are not a pack of lies

And I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word

Well, I’ve been waiting for this election all my life, my word

I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word, absurd

Well, this November, this November, don’t worry, is it at zero yet?

It’s the worst virus, the worst time we ever met

But O’Brien’s reason is why I had to shut them up, no, they don’t fool me

Well, the hurt doesn’t show, play it down like so

There’s no danger to you and me

I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word

Well, I’ve been hearing that the children will see some strife, my word

I can feel it in the air all right, my word, absurd

Well, I’ve been saying that the children can live their lives, my word

I can feel it coming in the air all right, my word

And I’ve been waiting so long to get on with my life, my word  

I can feel it in the air all right, my word, my word, absurd

Well, I’ve been saying it’s not my fault, this loss of life, my word, absurd

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Donald Trump Humor

Scorn for All Those Who Gave …

“Have you seen the boss?”

The Markmeadows surveyed the scene. There were hundreds of salivating dinos gathered around he and the Kayleighmcenany.

“No, but he should be here soon. I can’t help but notice that all the dinos are social distancing. That’s not the look we’re going for, is it?”

“That’s the least of our worries, Kayleigh. The T-Rump has really dug himself a hole by calling our fallen veteran dinos ‘losers’ and ‘suckers.’ Do you have all your talking points lined up?”

“No worries.”

“What about the Johnmccain?”

“Easy. He lost once trying to be our leader of Dino Nation, so technically … that does make him a loser. And the T-Rump’s remark about not liking heroes who are captured, well, I mean … who likes being tortured?”

“And the Johnkelly?”

“Like the T-Rump said, he was totally exhausted. It’s a wonder he could even stand up. Maybe, just maybe he’s suffering from the same debilitating, mind-altering illness the sleepy Joebiden has. And like the Stephaniegrisham said, the Johnkelly was totally unequipped to handle the genius of our great leader.”

“Okay, maybe you want to drop one or two of those ‘totally’s.”

“But the T-Rump likes hyperbole. Besides, it’s the only way I know how to speak.”

“Alright then. What about the Alexandervindeman? You know, one of these nosy Mediacircustops is bound to bring it up.”

“Gotcha covered. The T-Rump scoffed at the mere suggestion he should think only how wonderful the Alexandervindeman is. The T-Rump does not believe — those are pretty strong words — that he doesn’t know him, never spoke to him or even met him.”

“And what about the Alexandervindeman’s legal dino, the Davidpressman, who said that Vindeman was asked to leave for telling the truth? His honor and his commitment to right frightened the powerful.”

“First off, nothing frightens the T-Rump and whose truths are you going to believe, the Alexandervindeman’s or the T-Rump’s?”

“Well, when you put it that way.”

He turned again and nervously took in the crowd.

“I thought the T-Rump would be here by now.”

“Yes. And now that you mention it, I don’t see any familiar faces. The news was that the boss would be here. I’m getting a strange vibe. And it’s not for lying so much. Is it just me or, um … do you feel like we’re at a concert?”

The Boss took the flat rock stage.

Torn down like all those around

You go’n kick our war dead when they’re underground

Paying your respects is asking too much

While you spent four years just covering up

Scorn for all those who gave

You have scorn for all those who gave

You have scorn for all those who gave

Scorn for all those who gave

McCain was not your biggest fan

He was tortured in a foreign land

A hero who you cannot stand

A funeral where you were banned

Scorn for all those who gave

You have scorn for all those who gave

You have scorn for all those who gave

You have scorn for all those who gave

Lookin’ back at your family

You said, “Donny, cuz it’s up to me”

If you’re fighting to make your stand

You can start looking for another brand

A cemetery you dwell on, you only say they were wrong

You don’t care, you move on

We have a nation our brave have won

We hold the pictures of them in our arms now

Down in the shadows where most find empathy

You mock their service to keep us free

You tossed our finest down the road

Losers and suckers, how could you say so?

Scorn for all those who gave

You have scorn for all those who gave

Scorn for all those who gave

You’re a swan song, bad guy who is on his way

Scorn for all those who gave

Scorn for all those who gave

Scorn for all those who gave

You’re a fool, shocking sherlock who is on his way

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1320 & 1324

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-wmijd-ea5a36

This week’s T-Rump double-shot features: Day 1320 — “Tunnel Vision” … When all hell breaks loose, where are the Militarysaurae? … and Day 1324 — “Two Votes for Me Ain’t Bad” … The T-Rump’s latest plan to win the November battle. … Dino tail wags to Foreigner and Meat Loaf.