Tag: Donald Trump

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Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Where Have All the Trumpers Gone? …

The two Okla-Tulsa workers went about their mundane task, taking turns with their tails, knocking down rock-by-rock the auxiliary flat rock lectern. Disgust weighed down their grunts. This was make work. The lectern had been set up for the secondary Tyrumposaurus rally point that never happened. The two dinos were locals, the Greenwood — a herbivore — and the Blackwallstreet. They went by Woody and Wally.

Woody’s tail stopped knocking rocks for a moment so he could catch his breath.

“I hear the T-Rump was mighty upset when he looked down from the cliff and saw such a small crowd of his dinos.”

“Yeah, them Firemarshall dinos were johnny-on-the-spot to say only sixty-two-hundred-and-thirteen dinos showed up. That’s some high countin’.”

“Not near enough for the T-Rump. They was expectin’ a hundred, then fifty, then forty thousand to show up. They was beggin’ that last coupla hours, Wally. Beggin’ they was.”

“H-o-o-o-e-e-e-e-e. That Brad Parscale, he started it all by predictin’ a million dinos was gonna show up. The Tyvankanatrix an’ the Kushneratops, they be P-O’d at him big-time.

“Capital P. Capital O.”

“Uh-huh. He be lucky if he can get a job promotin’ baby dino birthdays.”

“I don’t think so, Wally. He just leave cryin’ babies in his wake, he would. You know what that Daveyaxelrod says, a good Politicodino under promises and over delivers, not the other way around. That pooper-scooper Parscale, he’s got it the other way around.”

“Got his tail on backwards.”

“Thass right. And they had the privilege nerve, you know the nerve I’m talkin’ about?”

“Lordy, I do.”

“The nerve to say it was them protesters who kept them all out.”

“Them? Who dat? There was all of one little dino squattin’ there, causin’ no ruckus. Not one peep. She just had the wrong colored skin is all. No matter with that. Unh-uh. Still a free Dino Nation last time I checked.”

“Sure be. I hear those Tiktokkitytiktok dinos done punked the T-Rump. Imagine that. Little kids pullin’ one over on the most powerful dino in the Trumpassic Period. Wasn’t that special, Wally?”

“It sure was, but I gotta ask you somethin’.”

“Ask me what?” 

 

Where have all the Trumpers gone?

I’m just asking

Where have all the Trumpers gone?

They sink so low

Where have all the Trumpers gone?

They became bigots, one-by-one

When will justice return?

When will we ever learn?

 

Where have all the bigots gone?

I’m just asking

Where have all the bigots gone?

They hate to know

Where have all the bigots gone?

They became yes men, every one

When will justice return?

When will we ever learn?

 

Where have all the yes men gone?

I’m just asking

Where have all the yes men gone?

Say it ain’t so

Where have all the yes men gone?

They became grifters, one-by-one

When will justice return?

When will we ever learn?

 

Where have all the grifters gone?

I’m just asking

Where have all the grifters gone?

Our money they did blow

Where have all the grifters gone?

They became convicts, every one

When will justice return?

When will we ever learn?

 

Where have all the convicts gone?

I’m just asking

Where have all the convicts gone?

Pardoned like so

Where have all the convicts gone?

Back to Trumpers one-by-one

When will justice return?

When will we ever learn?

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1243 & 1247

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-x3kvm-e08725

This week’s double-dose of T-Rump Traxx feature: Day 1243 — “Wasting My Time with You” … The Brianstelter locks horns with the Jennaellis … and Day 1247 — “Tulsa Time” … The T-Rump team descends on Okla-Tulsa. Head for the hills! … Dino tail wags to Foreigner and Eric Clapton. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Satire The T-Rump Dig

Tulsa Time …

Sweat dripped profusely from the Tyrumposaurus rally campaign dino’s brow. He wiped it away, stealing a peek at the T-Rump.

“It’s not too late to cancel this thing.”

“Are you kidding me?!” roared the T-Rump. “There are millions of dinos out there. Millions! Do I have to get the Seanspicer in here to tell you that?”

“It — it’s just that Okla-Tulsa is experiencing record highs in their daily count of new Coronavirus cases.”

The T-Rump shook his head. Uh-oh. He was wearing that career-ending frown again.

“Mike, do you want to fill in this lunkhead or do I have to?”

The Mikepence stepped forward, planted his big feet shoulder width apart, stared ahead and set his jaw for his most dignified mother-knows-best voice.

“Let’s all try to remember that any record levels, and yes, there may be more new records set day after day after day … after day. And okay, there may be 8,000 new cases next door in Texas-Lone Star. And twenty regions of Dino Nation may be showing ten percent increases or more since last week …”

“Mike, you’re going the wrong way on this.”

“Sorry, your esteemed highness of most esteemed heights. I was just trying to set some context for the incredible comeback we’re about to make under your priceless leadership from this invisible enemy that has killed 120-thou — … I mean, this is only a short term situation — trust me — and these increasing case numbers are only because of the great work dinos are doing with regards to the amount of increased testing. They’re testing too good. Heh-heh. Just too darn good. As a matter of fact, I told them the other day, slow down, you’re making us look bad.”

He paused for laughter. None was coming.

“So, what I’m trying to say, I guess, is that things may look very, very, very bad but I just look at the dino who got us into this, our leader, the T-Rump, and I know we’re all going to be praying that he can get us out of it. I know he can. That’s why I’m praying. And one last thing, don’t believe the Mediacircustops when they say that increased testing means there will be more contact tracing … which will find the sick dinos … and thus bring the new case numbers down. That just isn’t so. Community spread? What is that I ask you? Asymptomatic? Dino Nation is tired of hearing these big words they have no use for. I’m not a scientist but you, me, the T-Rump, we can take back the great Milkanhoney Preservation, refute these so-called scientific findings … and still sleep soundly at night. It’s unfortunate that the Mediacircustops have reduced themselves to fear mongering.”

“Fear mongering!” The T-Rump bellowed. “Thanks, Mike. We all needed that. And remember, if any fake news Mediacircustops confronts you on this, tell them what Kayleigh said because she’s getting damn good mileage out of our latest, last-gasp excuse. What’d she say again, Mike?”

“Yes, oh great one, she combined our winning strategy of deflection, projection and dejection. She said, ‘How come there’s all this concern for the dinos at the Okla-Tulsa rally? What about all those rabble-rousers protesting across Dino Nation? What about that?’ It was truly a remarkable remark that we can all be proud of, giving us all cover another day. We really need to put all our focus on this rally now.”

The Timmurtaugh, T-Rump’s battle campaign Mediacircustops dino director cleared his throat.

“Ahem. I just wanted to report back to you, T-Rump. The Okla-Tulsa dinos asked us what health precautions we are taking to protect their citizen dinos. I told them that we would be anointing them with T-Rump swamp water. And a pat on the back. A solid pat on the back. They should expect a big, boisterous crowd of 19,000 strong, cheek-to-cheek, jowl-to-jowl in that confined space. They’ll be hollering their lungs out, spewing all kinds of infectious particles into the air space. But the swamp water. We do have the swamp water. No worries, boss.”

“Good job, Tim.”

There came a commotion from outside. The dinos continued gathering with the big rally still 24 hours away.

“Ah, listen to them,” said the T-Rump, cocking an ear. “Sounds like a song. Probably about me. That’s my base. Always behind me. Great dinos. Best dinos ever.”

 

Well, I been sittin’ yonder

For three whole days give’r take

They want this here waiver signed

They said we gotta warn ya

So before the virus gets ya

Just sign here on the dotted line

My momma called me crazy

Now I ain’t no shrinkin’ daisy

Gonna show them all this time

Cause you know I got no schooling

I don’t need no Biden fool

Want to just join the line

Dyin’ on Tulsa time

Dyin’ on Tulsa time

Gonna go ahead and do it

Don’t need no mask, I say screw it

Dyin’ on Tulsa time

So they’re testin’ more than they should

And there goes the neighborhood

My eyeballs must be in decline

That’s the gospel from Hannity

And that man ain’t never wrong

But my momma says T-Rump’s a swine

So then I started drinkin’

And then I got to thinkin’

Poor momma has to bear in mind

Social distance has me leavin’

And that’s why she’ll be grievin’

Bye, Ma, it’s Tulsa time

Dyin’ on Tulsa time

Dyin’ on Tulsa time

Gonna go ahead and do it

Don’t need no mask, I say screw it

Dyin’ on Tulsa time

Dyin’ on Tulsa time

Dyin’ on Tulsa time

Gonna go ahead and do it

Don’t need no mask, I say screw it

Dyin’ on Tulsa time

 

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Satire The T-Rump Dig

Wasting My Time with You …

The Mediacircustops, the Brianstelter, beamed at his guest, the Tyrumposaurus’ senior legal dino advisor, the Jennaellis. She had that look about her that said salty, sassy and able to snap at any moment.

“Thank you for joining us, Jenna.”

“Look, Brian, you just make sure to stick to the topic we agreed to discuss.”

“O-k-a-a-a-y … it appears you’re suing the dino pollsters for a poll that had the T-Rump 14 points behind the Joebiden. C’mon, now. Suing pollsters? Really?”

“Oh, you’d better believe it. Because they had the egregious audacity to poll adult dinos who weren’t even registered voters.”

“But they could be.”

“Could be? They could also all be anti-T-Rump activist dinos with an agenda like yours, Brian. Did I mention that your ratings are the worst?”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because you have an audience of three and we need every last dino licking the T-Rump’s toes. I mean, I can’t sleep at night knowing you’re giving those three dinos fake news.

“You can keep on patronizing me but I don’t think it’s a good look for you.”

“You’re criticizing my looks now? O-o-o-o-h, that’s low, Brian. Just for that I’m going to go on for the next ten minutes about how you don’t know the difference between an opinion piece and a factually false statement. Didn’t they teach you that in school, Brian? Don’t you want to be correct? You call yourself a Mediacircustops, Brian, and it’s your job to report the facts and then let the dinos decide.”

“Aha!”

“What?”

“You just said to report the facts and let the dinos decide.”

“So?”

“When exactly did dinos begin deciding on the facts? Facts are facts. Who, what, where, when. Those don’t change, Jenna. Because they’re the truth. Unless you are, uh … changing them to alternative facts. Hmm. Where have we heard that before?” 

“I’m not listening. Two minutes in, time to take over this interview. Why are you so upset that the T-Rump sent out his Trollertweeties telling dinos to ignore the Mediacircustops? He’s just expressing an opinion. Isn’t he allowed to do that? After all, he is also a citizen. He is the first one to actually use his platform as a Dino Nation citizen to be able to call out the fake news Mediacircustops and say you are peddlers of false information.”

“Are you even listening to yourself? The T-Rump is NOT just a citizen. He is the leader of the free-running dino world. No other citizen, no one, nada — not even you on your best day — has access to the bully pulpit. Only he does. What he says matters.” 

“Brian, the T-Rump is all about truth and facts.”

“Jenna, you’re wasting my time, Jenna.”

 

So long, I’ve been working too hard, you been talkin’ too long

Sometimes I think I will lose my mind, I only know it’s a matter of time

When you shove someone, when you shove someone

It feels so wrong, your words so blue, I need to know what I say is true

Soundin’ the gong, gotta let you know you’re talkin’ way too long 

Conversation with you is a chore, that’s why less of you is more

I’ve been wasting all my time with you, you cut-in like a knife

I’ve been wasting all my time with you, you’re ruining my life

I’ve been wasting, this time you blew, gonna go tell my wife

Yeah, wasting all my time with you, you cut-in like a knife

Your head’s wood, let’s make sure that that’s understood

You are more than touched said the last survey  

Only T-Rump could make it this way

When you talk to someone, yeah, really talk to someone

Now, I see the light, in some moment, twenty years from now, one night

There’s nowhere on earth that anyone, see, will take you seriously 

I’ve been wasting all my time with you, you cut-in like a knife

I’ve been wasting all my time with you, you’re ruining my life

I’ve been wasting, this time you blew, gonna go tell my wife

Yeah, wasting all my time with you, you cut-in like a knife

I’ve been wasting, wasting with you

I’ve been wasting

I’ve been wasting 

Won’t the truth soon come to life?

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1236 & 1240

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ekwmv-dfba8a

This week’s T-Rump Twofer features: Day 1236 — “Born Free” … As Trumpassic Period protests continue, Dino Nation pauses to Say The Names … and Day 1240 — “Back to Your Bunker” … The Seattle-by-the-Sea dino mayor has a suggestion for the Tyrumposaurus. Dino tail wags to Andy Williams and the Beatles. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Back to Your Bunker …

“Okay, Stephen, battle plans. Where are we?”

The Stephenmiller grinned devilishly. Inwardly his evil heart did cartwheels through rings of fire as thoughts of indiscriminately tossing immigrant babies to land where they may danced in his head. He absolutely loved his job.

“Well, T-Rump. We’re still getting great mileage out of your, heh-heh … walk in the park. Because that’s what we need to call it.  All those dinos are protesting and you just took a walk in the park.”

“Ahem, T-Rump?”

“What is it, Milley?”

“I just want to say on that point, that I was out of line. I had no business being there. I want to apologize to the Dino Nation for politicizing my position. It, uh … seems I have morals after all.”

“Oh, stop it. I don’t care what your morals look like. Go put’em up on the damn wall.”

“Uh, sir?” It was the Markesper. “You mean murals.”

“Don’t you start with me, Esper. It’s you who got him going on this, wasn’t it? I don’t want you speaking to him any more.”

“But that’s my job.”

“I’ll tell you what’s in your job description. I make this up as I go. You’re already on thin ice. Well, double that. Double thin ice, that’s where you are. And Milley? Where does that leave you?”

“Uh, single thin ice?”

“Don’t get cute with me. Dog House. And you remember that for me because I don’t take notes, I don’t read, I just give the orders and … you two … oh, you two. Your days are numbered. And you can just keep guessing as to what day that is. I’ll get back to you on that. Don’t you worry. And do NOT forget to remind me. Damn generals. Can’t win with them. Can’t win without’em. Carry on, Stephen.”

“Ahem. I just want to say, I love it when you get mad, boss. It makes me want to lower migration levels. Where was I? Oh, yes. That 75-year-old dino from Buffalo-Shuffle, the, uh … Martingugino. Damn exotic species. He’s got a bad head wound from the authorities supposedly knocking him down, but the Antifasaurus angle and our domination theme is playing well with our base.”

“Good, dominate the jungle. And you call that a Buffalo shuffle? Are you kidding me? Worst Buffalo shuffle I’ve ever seen. Pure embellishment. The worst.” 

“Your trip to Dallas-Lone Star? I’ve lined up several black dinos. No radicals, I promise. And you’ll be discussing anything but race.”

“Excuse me, T-Rump?” It was the Bencarson. “I, um … I told the Jaketapper last week that you were going to make an announcement on … this, um … this race thing?”

“Oh you did, did you? Well, that’s what happens when you don’t speak to me first. Blindsided again. Dammit! What is with you dinos? How come I’m always the last to find out around here? You’re just lucky I don’t fire you all. It’s only because the Foxsquawkbox has told me they’re running short of dinos. I may have to ask the Hopehicksbagotrix if she has a cousin. Don’t tempt me. If you guys can’t stay on message then don’t give a message. Just shut up and walk away. All my senators are. How many times do I have to say it? Transparency is kryptonite. Stephen?”

“You’re gonna love this, T-Rump. Okla-Tulsa. I get chills just thinking about it.”

“Never heard of it. What’s so good about it?”

“We’ll schedule a rally there on Juneteenth.”

“What the hell is Juneteeth?”

“A big day for the black dinos. Get this, Okla-Tulsa had a big dino race riot a hundred years ago and there was death and destruction. Lots of death and destruction. On both sides. Wait, it gets better. The Mediacircustops will ask you to say something about the 300 black dinos that were killed there. We’ll tell them that with 1,000 dinos dying from Coronavirus every day now, when you think about it, well … 300 isn’t really so bad.”

“Good. That’s good, Stephen. What about the situation in Seattle-by-the-Sea? Did the dino mayor there listen to my advice and take back her region with brute force — big, dominating brute force — like I told her to?”

“Well, actually, she made the trip here to speak with you personally. Should I let her in?”

“Of course. Oh, you don’t have to leave. You’re all welcome to stay and listen to her grovel. I love the groveling part.”

The Seattle-by-the-Sea dino mayor, the Jennydurkan, entered the Oval Dwelling. A beetle on the wall busied his antennae, beating an imaginary drum in the air.

 

 

Chewin’ on your silly tweet that came to me

Did you even sleep last night?

Gotta say, your finger wag, was that at me?

You’re just looking for a fight

Go back to your bunker

You don’t know how yucky you are, boy

Back to your bunker

Coronavirus runnin’ right thru this place

We should all be stayin’ home

Except you keep ignorin’ facts in your face

Man, you need to change your tone

Go back to your bunker

You don’t know how yucky you are, boy

Back to your, back to your, back to your bunker

 

Well, the Georgefloyd death really knocked you out

You left your heart behind

But most the folks, gonna sing and shout

You gone an’ lost your my-my-my-my-my-my-my-mind.

 

Go back to your bunker

You don’t know how yucky you are, boy

Back to your bunker

Well, the Georgefloyd death really knocked you out

You left your heart behind

But most the folks, gonna sing and shout

You gone an’ lost your my-my-my-my-my-my-my-mind.

 

Show me where it says you push an old man down

Take the blame, you caused the harm

Can you hear the many voices ringing out? 

A nation sounds the alarm

Go back to your bunker

You don’t know how yucky you are, boy

Back to your bunker

 

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Satire The T-Rump Dig

Born Free …

Thousands of dinos continued demonstrating outside the Oval Dwelling. The protest against dino police brutality and racism had been going on for a dozen days. After some earlier shenanigans, the demonstrators were peaceful. Their determined, vigorous chants filled the air, “We are here! The real McCoy! Listen up, T-Rump, you Bunker Boy!”

The Tyrumposaurus frowned from his Oval Dwelling squat. He looked to the Williambarr.

“Tell me we can move the Oval Dwelling. I can’t stand their yelling. Why don’t we just move the Oval Dwelling to one of my luxury caves?”

“Sorry, boss. We can’t move the Oval Dwelling. And we’ve moved the protesting dinos back as far as we can without causing more civil unrest.”

“This has been going on days. I can’t lead with all this noise. What are they protesting again?”

“Black Lives Matter and dino police brutality.”

“What brutality? That’s the way the dino police are supposed to respond when you’ve got this many dinos in one place — who aren’t worshipping me. Make Dino Nation great again with a whack upside the head.”

The Williambarr looked from the Homeland Security dino, the Chadwolf, to the Secretary of Rural Caves, the Bencarson, and back to the T-Rump. The leader of the free-running dino world sniffed the air. He knew something was up. 

“Oh, no. Not another hostage speech. Don’t even go there. I come off looking like a sniveling idiot last time. And the time before that. You know I don’t do empathy.”

“But, T-Rump. The dinos out there need a calming influence. Show them that we’re on the same page, even if we’re not. All you need to do is go out there and lie to them like you always do.”

“I can’t. My base is two steps left of lulu. If I send them a mixed message on whatever level of lies we’re up to, I’m liable to lose another 37 dinos. We’re stretched thin enough as it is. You’ve seen the polls. That damn sleepy Joebiden is at 50%.” He practically hissed his next words. “The Crookadillary never got that high.”

No one needed to point out that neither had the T-Rump. No one that wanted to keep their teeth. The chants continued outside.

“Stop this pandemic! Racism Systemic!”

“What the hell are they going on about?” asked the T-Rump.

“400 years of a white feet on black necks,” said the Williambarr.

“Oh, c’mon. Just because I wouldn’t let them live in my caves. But I have you three here to give me your views on this systemic whatever. Make it snappy. Last one speaking has the best chance of being remembered. Go ahead, Billy.”

“Well, I understand the distrust of the black dino given the history of Dino Nation. I’ll give them that.”

“B-o-o-r-r-i-n-g. Chad?”

“The dino police are fine dinos that protect us everyday. It’s a shame they’re being lumped together on this.”

“Better. What about you, Ben? And be careful if you want to stay a Grandoldparty dino. There’s just you, the Williamhurd and the Timscott on that, uh … race thing.”

“Actually,” the Willliambarr interrupted. “The Williamhurd is a lame duck dino.”

“My point entirely. Well, Ben?”

“We have a few rogue dinos, but most of the dino police are good dinos. I could tell you some real stories about racism back in the day.”

“Save it. Got no time for it. Few rogue dinos. Mental note. What’s rogue mean again?”

But before the Williambarr could answer, there came the loud voice of one of the dino protesters outside.

“Yes, that’s right. Black Lives DO Matter. We need to end dino police brutality and the systemic racism that’s so prevalent in our lives today. We need to remind everyone that black dinos are born equal … they are born to succeed … and they are born free.”

And the protester broke into song.

 

George Floyd and Breonna Taylor

Michael Dean, Eric Reason

George Floyd, Pamela Turner

Botham Jean, Antwon Rose the second

Stephon Clark, Terrence Cutcher

Jordan Edwards, Paul O’Neal

Philando Castile of St. Paul

Alton Sterling, Bettie Jones

Nathaniel Pickett Junior

George Floyd and Samuel DuBose

Freddie Gray, Walter Scott

And Eric Harris

Young Tamir Rice of Cleveland

Laquan McDonald

George Floyd, Michael Brown Ferguson

Eric Garner New York

Trayvon Martin, George Floyd

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1229 & 1233

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-vrjzh-defc96

This week’s T-Rump Traxx feature: Day 1229 — “Lie of the Shyster” … Truth and the Tyrumposaurus continue to be about an epoch or two apart … and Day 1233 — “Take Me to the Sinners” … The T-Rump needs some fresh air. … Big tail wags to Survivor and the Talking Heads for the rhythm, the back beat and the inspiration. Enjoy! And as always, feel free to sing along. (See davidmbelisle.com for the revised lyrics.)

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Take Me to the Sinners …

“Sick and tired! I am sick and tired of being holed up here. Like I was some common criminal.”

The Tyrumposaurus’s nostrils were flaring. And dripping on his big feet.

“Oh, there’s nothing common about you, boss,” said the Dino of Defense Markesper, gathered in the Oval Dwelling with the dino general Markmilley, the Dino Attorney General Williambarr, the T-Rump and his Mediacircustops mouthpiece, the Kayleighmcenany.

The T-Rump turned to the Williambarr.

“Get out there and see if the coast is clear.”

“To where?”

“I don’t know where. Anywhere! I told you I’ve got a bad case of Cave Fever. The biggest, baddest case of Cave Fever …”

“In the history of the world,” the other dinos finished his sentence together.

“Quit finishing my sentences, dammit! You make me sound predictable.”

“But T-Rump,” asked the Williambarr. “Are you going to at least give me some protection? The natives are, um … restless.”

The T-Rump looked the Markmilley up and down. The general had his best fighting sneer on.

“Hmph, you look ready for battle, Milley. What’s your call on this?”

“Well, you see, boss. We don’t normally pit our fighting dinos against our stay-in-the-cave dinos. It’s, uh … not a good look. This has never been done in Dino Nation history.”

“Great. There’s a first time for everything.”

“Uh, T-Rump?” asked the Kayleighmcenany. “What should I tell the Mediacircustops?”

The pregnant pause gave birth to boundless incompetence. The Markesper finally spoke.

“I’m just gonna tell’em I didn’t know where I was going. Uh, because I don’t.”

The Williambarr perked up.

“Can we all say that?”

“You can,” grunted the Markmilley. “But I have battle-ready dinos out there. I can’t have them running around bumping into each other. Some innocent dinos are gonna get hurt.”

He cast a wary eye at the T-Rump, who picked up on the negative vibe immediately.

“You militaristic dinos are kind of close, I hear. Has that Maddogmaddis been whispering in your ear again?”

Silence from the Markmilley confirmed his guilt.

“What did he say?” grilled the T-Rump.

“He called you the ‘I’ word, sir.”

“Idiot? Well, that’s not too bad.”

“No, sir. He called you, ahem … immature.”

“What did you say?”

“Immature, sir!”

The ground trembled beneath the T-Rump’s feet. The other dinos hadn’t seen him this mad in a day-and-a-half. The Kayleighmcenany bit her bottom lip, looking very worried.

“What are you going to do, T-Rump?”

“As you know, I just had my physical. The dino doc noted my high stress levels, the highest stress levels, uh … see my face turning red? To relieve pressure, he suggested that I sing.”

“Sing? Really? When you’re upset like this?”

“Of course. You forget. Power. I’m singing with power. C’mon, march with me. All of you. And hit your tail on the ground like you mean it.”

 

I don’t know what I’m expected to do

Crisis, what crisis? Nothing new.

Break their backs now, stay on their necks

They haven’t seen the worst of it yet

I don’t need you all to tell me

To stay away

Take me to the sinners, don’t forget my daughter

Take me to the sinners, put me on the altar

Washington down! Washington down!

 

I don’t know why they treat me so bad

I’m the best leader that they ever had

They can’t protest, but before I forget

To the bunker, it is time to inspect

I don’t need you all to tell me

To stay away

Take me to the sinners, don’t forget my daughter

Push me thru the sinners, let’s just make this hotter

Washington down! Washington down!

 

Slug them, tease me, shove them, please me

Till they can’t, till they can’t, till they can’t take more of it

Take me to the sinners, don’t forget my daughter

Push me thru the sinners, grab them by the collar

Washington down! Washington down!

 

I don’t know religion from two plus two

Small sacrifice, here’s what we’ll do

Across the park there, we will crawl

Then I will simply stand in front of it all

I don’t need you all to tell me

To stay away

Take me to the sinners and don’t forget my daughter

Push me thru the sinners, hit them good and proper

Washington down! Washington down!

 

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You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!