David Belisle

“Rudy! Get in here!”
The Rudygiuliani scurried into the Oval Dwelling.
“Yes, boss?”
“Squat with me for awhile,” said the Tyrumposaurus. “I need some attention. These memorial tributes to the Johnmccain and the Arethafranklin cutting into my recognition time from the Mediacircustops. Bigly.” …

“Okay, Rudy,” said the Tyrumposaurus. “What have you got for me today? We need something to deflect this disastrous Michaelcohen and Manaforta fake news. And this Dino the Doorman is freaking me out. …

“Horrific! It was just horrific what they did to him.”
The Rudygiuliani nodded profusely, eyes bulging, teeth gnashing.
“They had the gall to say they were just doing their job. You’re absolutely right, T-Rump. He never had a chance.”

“She has what?!”
The Tyrumposaurus stared in shock at the Kellyanneconvixway, who repeated the breaking news.
“The Omarosa has 200 tapeworms.”
“But how? How did she get them?”
“Right here in the Oval Dwelling, I suppose. She was always in here.” …
“You mean, she got them from right here?”

“Are they gonna bring us food? They better bring us food,” said Juror 1.
Several other jurors nodded, smacking their lips expectantly. Juror 2 smacked his head.
“Damn. I forgot my lactate leaves.”
It was the first day of jury deliberations following closing arguments of the Manaforta trial. Dinosaur court was similar to kangaroo court, except for the jumping to conclusions. …

“Well? Well? How’d it go?”
An anxious Rogerstone asked the Manhatinhandmadam as he welcomed her into his small, sparsely decorated cave. He liked it that way, for quick exits to chase down any Mediacircustops looking to fill a slow news day.
“Aren’t you going to kiss me hello?” …