Categories
Donald Trump Humor Satire

Everyday Feeble …

The Mikelindell, a dino entrepreneur with a one-of-kind rock pillow that guaranteed sleep if you fell from at least ten feet, shook his head emphatically at the T-Rump.

“No, the Joebiden most certainly didn’t win the election.”

“I love your enthusiasm, Mike,” said the T-Rump, “but how do you know?”

“Because I’ve seen it.”

“Oh, really? Where?”

“Well, let’s see. I was tired. Then a short while later I saw sheep. A lot of sheep. Prancing. One hundred to be exact. Prancing sheep. And they were jumping over something. I was counting them as they did. Then came the letter “z.” Lots of those too. A long, long string of them.”

“Uh, Mike? It sounds like you were sleeping? And dreaming. That too.”

“Oh, I get that a lot. But listen, while I’ve got you, I’ve got a list of ideas that can keep you in the Oval Dwelling. First, I have evidence of voter fraud in the Georgia Orchard, Pennsylvaneus, Michigonia and Dairyland.”

“Great. You’re a little late. But let’s see it.”

“Oh, I don’t have it with me.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s word of mouth. From a friend of a friend of a friend, all three being in the solitary sinkhole and looking for a discount on your pardon deal at two million a pop.”

“Not gonna happen. Look at me. I’m getting killed here. My revenue streams are drying up before my eyes. Art of the deal is how I steal, I mean feel. Two million is the flat rate.”

“Well, I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, we could negotiate one for, um … me. Just in case, you know, stuff comes up.”

“Like your five minutes. It’s almost up.”

“Okay, sure. So, you’re the law and order guy now. You put in martial law. Right away. Bingo-bango. Before they can blink. You suffocate them with martial law. Suffocate, suffocate, suffocate. Ya gotta suffocate ‘em with it. Y’know? Suffocate.”

“You’re scaring me, Mike.”  

“Would you like a rock pillow?”

“No.”

The T-Rump buried his head in his lap.

“Oh, woe, woe, woe is me. How come everyone isn’t calling me asking me how I’m doing and saying great things about me to cheer me up? Don’t they know how this is tearing me apart? Cheer me up, dammit! I had to tell my family to look in on me every hour. My own family! Make them think something bad might happen — just so I could get more attention.”

“Uh, you sure you don’t want a pillow?”

“No! You’d have to pay me to sleep on that thing.”

“It’s the lumps isn’t it?”

The Mikelindell knew he was at the four-minute mark but he might be thrown out with a minute left, so he nodded to the T-Rump and headed for the exit.

The T-Rump sighed. Seventy-two hours. Normally he didn’t even think one day ahead … unless it was a flog day with a Pornodactyl. But he knew in three days, the biggest grift ever perpetrated on Dino Nation would soon be over. He could feel the dino authorities circling. He was like a cornered Ratfinkasaurus, painful as that was to admit. He hated looking weak. His mood was pure melancholy because he’d never admit to the actual cause. But he was alone so he could sing about it. Because he always loved the sound of his voice.

I’m always right cuz I’m never wrong

Why aren’t they all singin’ my song?

Jon Tester, Chuck Schumer, Jake Tapper and kin

I blame them all for the soup I’m in

I am everyday feeble

That rigged election

The one that I really won

There’s a fraud says everyone

Then those votes should be undone

For he who stokes

The widespread hoax

Gotta keep goin’ on

With Rudy’s Punch an’ Judy 

The last straw

That’s holding us together

I am their leader, I’m the best they knew

If I can’t tweet, how do theirs get through?

They love me, they need me, until I say when

Somebody else caused this mess I’m in

I am everyday feeble

They need free and fair

They want law and order there

Cuz that was my election

But not my insurrection

For he who stokes

The widespread hoax

Gotta keep goin’ on

With Rudy’s Punch an’ Judy

The last straw

That’s holding us together

They still want me to run

Though some say I’m one and done

This self-pity is no fun

There’s no money, send me some

For he who stokes

The widespread hoax

Gotta keep goin’ on

With Rudy’s Punch an’ Judy

The last straw

I am everyday feeble

……………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Donald Trump Humor Political Satire

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1453 & 1457

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-f2ds4-f7c4f3

This week’s T-Rump Traxx include: Day 1453 — “Got Me Under Pressure” … The Mincepencenow feels the heat as only the T-Rump can bring it. … and Day 1457 — “Too Wicked and Impeached Twice” … The T-Rump takes those few short steps — in his case — to wit’s end. … Big dino tail wags to ZZ Top and Eddie Money. Enjoy!

Categories
Donald Trump Humor Satire

Too Wicked and Impeached Twice …

“Alright then,” the Tyrumposaurus said to his family and final hangers-on gathered around him in the Oval Dwelling. His tone had that long familiar ring of the devil dino just before he fleeced your soul.

“Which one of you is going to hand over your flock of Trollertweeties so I can get the word out with my base, I mean, our base.” 

Crickets.

“Need I remind you that I’m doing this for Dino Nation.”

More crickets. Except it was actually quieter because the crickets had, incredibly, pulled out their wings when they realized who they were chirping for. A wingless cricket enters early retirement of course and that’s nothing to shake a, uh … wing at because after all, they only live 90 days.

“Don Jr., what about you? I know I can count on you.”

“But I need my Trollertweeties, dad. Um, to say great things about you. Am I right? But not too great. Because I don’t want to wind … up … like … you. Kimberly? My low bar sweetie?”

“I don’t want her Trollertweety. She’s not family.”

Awkward. But awkward crashed and burned one hundred times a day around the T-Rump.

“Eric?”

“Gee, dad. I just had another dino follow me the other day. That makes five. Why don’t you ask the Tyvanka?”

“Because she needs her Trollertweeties more than all of you put together. Times ten.”

He turned to the Tymelania. The look she gave him told him that asking her would release all his wife’s colorful Christmas-decoration aggression on him in a spectacular Be Best moment. No, he’d do well to skip her. The Tyvankanatrix smiled sweetly at him. 

“Sorry about your impeachment, daddy.”

“Impeached? I wasn’t impeached. And I wasn’t impeached the last time either. I was acquitted. They all quit.”

“Sorry, my bad.”

She smiled her condescending smile at the group. Their shoulders all slumped another inch. She was of course the only family dino who could mention the T-Rump’s record-breaking second impeachment without getting her head chewed off.

“Un, T-Rump?” It was the Markmeadows.

“What is it, Mark?”

“Well, with the moolah-moolah leaves no longer coming in, it’s that time of the month and … uh …”

“Spit it out.”

“Rudy wants his money.”

“Tell me. Did he get the Georgia Orchard, Pennsylvaneus, Michigonia and Dairyland to overturn their elections?”

“No, I’m afraid he didn’t.”

“Then he’s not getting paid. That’s the deal. Not one moolah-moolah leaf. He knew that was the deal.”

“Uh,” stammered the Markmeadows. “I didn’t even know that was part of the deal.”

“He knows who I am, what I am. Thirty-five hundred, or is it four thousand lawsuits now? Tell him, back of the line, bud.”

“Yes, T-Rump.”

The Markmeadows turned to leave.

“Oh, Mark, before you go.”

“Yes?”

“The Moscowmitch.”

Uh-oh. The dinos in the Oval Dwelling cringed as one.

“The Moscowmitch said he hates me. I don’t know why but … you know what to do.”

“I, uh … don’t follow.”

The T-Rump frowned. He tapped his claw on a flat rock.

“Plausible deniability. Don’t need to know.” He said it in a sing-song fashion.

“Of course.”

The Markmeadows hurried out of the cave. He had no idea what he was going to do. He could only hope, as with most other outlandish T-Rump requests, that his boss would forget all about it in 15 minutes.

The T-Rump turned to his family.

“Moscowmitch hates me. He hates me? What for? Does he think I’m wicked? C’mon. For all that I’ve done for him? For Dino Nation? No, not buying it. He’s the one that’s wicked. That’s who. He’s the wicked one.”

And the T-Rump burst into song.

What a surprise when Pence did not come through

Those were three wild Wednesdays but what can they do? 

I did nothin’ wrong, did nothin’ wrong

But they’re sayin’ it strong, sayin’ it strong

I’m gonna rob them blind and then I’ll reappear

I am too wicked says the docket, believe me, my fans hold me dear

I did nothin’ wrong, did nothin’ wrong

But they’re sayin’ it strong, sayin’ it strong

That I’m too wicked and impeached twice

Won’t you back my flag, they said last night

That I’m too wicked and impeached twice

That I’m too wicked and impeached twice

I’m gonna rob them blind and then I’ll reappear

I am too wicked says the docket, believe me, my fans hold me dear

I did nothin’ wrong, did nothin’ wrong

But they’re sayin’ it strong, sayin’ it strong

That I’m too wicked and impeached twice

Won’t you back my flag, they said last night

That I’m too wicked and impeached twice

Won’t you back my flag, they said last night

That I’m too wicked and impeached twice

Won’t you back my flag, let’s make it right

I’m not too wicked and impeached twice

I’m not too wicked and impeached twice

……………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Donald Trump Humor Satire

Got Me Under Pressure …

“Who do they think they are? I’m asking you, just who the hell do they think they are?!”

“I don’t know, mother.”

The Mincepencenow lowered his gaze to the ground. He hated it when his wife got mad. She was upset at the recent T-Rump Insurrection and angry that two of the Grandoldparty dinos in the T-Rump’s dino cabinet — the Elainchao and the Betsydevos had gone running for the hills. That is, promptly resigned from their positions.

“I suppose I could do something,” he ventured.

“I don’t want you doing anything. Just keep pretending the T-Rump has you under his thumb.”

“I wasn’t pretending.”

She gave him the look. That look. The one that said she was still running the show and that if he exercised one more thought outside Operation Oval Dwelling, she’d swat him one upside the head but good.

“We’ll let the Donkeykongrus deal with him,” she said in a huff. “The Moscowmitch is hopeless now that he’s lost control of the Sin Hut. I heard he was wandering down a lonely path yesterday mumbling to himself, ‘I have no power. My power. Gone. Just like that. What am I going to do? That damn, T-Rump. I knew this was going to happen. Hmm. I know. The question is … how am I going to get that angry mob to go after him?”

“He said all that?”

“Okay, so I added the last part.”

The Mincepencenow shook his head with a frown.

“You want the Nancypelosi to deal with the T-Rump. But she’s going to give me an ultimatum in the morning that if I don’t say T-Rump is cracked-walnut bonkers then the Donkeykongrus is going to go ahead with impeachment.”

“You know ultimatums never ever work in a relationship, dear.”

“But this is Dino Nation hanging in the balance.”

“Relax, the less you say the better. Of course, we don’t want it to get out that you and the T-Rump haven’t spoken for several days.”

“But they know, mother. They know.”

“Perhaps. But trust me, it’s w-a-a-a-a-y down the Mediacircustop priority list since the T-Rump’s attempted coup.”

“That was a terrible day. I still can’t believe it … after all I’ve done for him.”

Mother nodded her agreement.

“That was a lot of groveling. The most. In the history of groveling.”

She could see she’d wounded his pride. Such was the power she could summon with a smirk or a smile. She would need to build him back up again. 

“You’re stressed, dear. Come to bed. After you massage my ankles and crack my toes, you can sing me one of your songs from the old days when you used to chase me around the jungle and I’d let you catch me.

“You let me? I mean, of course you did. I don’t know if I can remember those exactly … but I do have another one that comes to mind.”

He likes bein’ a dick, he likes bein’ mean

And he won’t let me say Joe Biden unless it’s that he has gangrene

He’s got me under pressure

He’s got me under pressure

He likes the media scrum, he likes to clog the fog 

He wants me to change the outcome,  he likes it that I’m his lapdog

He don’t like Biden winning, he likes to fan the flames

He likes free rein and sendin’ out those birdbrains

He’s about all I can handle, he’s driving me insane

It’s got me under pressure

It’s got me under pressure

I’m gonna give him a message

Here’s what I’m gonna say

“I’m not Rover.”

They thought they would be so slick

And some wanted me dead

The attack just makes me sick

It’s got me under pressure

It’s got me under pressure

It’s got me under pressure

It’s got me under pressure

……………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Donald Trump Humor Political Satire

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1446 & 1450

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-49d2h-f71f3a

Troubled times in the Trumpassic Period. This week’s double-shot features: Day 1446 — “Hawley Holy Hell” … It’s a special twilight zone that the Joshhawley has stumbled upon. … and Day 1450 — “He’s Gotta Get Out of the House” … Dino Nation staggers as Magadinos storm the Kapitol Kavern. Big dino tail wags to Neil Diamond and the Animals.

Categories
Donald Trump Humor

He’s Gotta Get Out of the House …

“I can’t believe it,” said the Chuckschumer. “They’re like – like animals.”

He was peeking out of a side cave to the Kongrus Kave in the Kapitol Kavern where a moment before the Donkeykongrus and Grandoldparty dinos had been counting the electoral votes to confirm that the Joebiden was the new leader of Dino Nation. But instead of a typically boring and mundane, purely ceremonial gesture, the Tyrumposaurus, in his infinite indecency, had decided to incite his rabid following to trudge with him down the main path to the Kapitol Kavern. He exhorted them to cheer for their own kind, make some noise and “show strength.” Never had a dog whistle jumped species more readily. 

The Magadinos had eventually made it to the Kapitol Kavern and kept right on going, through a very surprised skeleton staff of dino security into the inner sanctum of dino political wisdom and hallowed authority. The high ranking dino representatives had been whisked away from any danger at the hands of the dino hooligans. That is how the Sin Hut minority leader, the ChuckSchumer, came to be holed up with the Kongrus Kave Majority Leader, the Nancypelosi, and her counterpart Minority Leader, the Kevinmccarthy.  

“I prayed for him every day,” said the Nancypelosi. “1,400 prayers for the T-Rump. And what did you do?”

She was looking at the Kevinmccarthy, who was sitting with his tail against the wall several feet away. Head down, he shook with fright. 

“I’ll tell you what you did. Nothing. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

She picked up a rock and threw it at him, hitting him in the beak.

“Ow!”

The Chuckschumer returned to sit beside her. He studied her tight-lipped expression.

“Did you want me to throw a rock at him too?”

She shook her head and launched anew into the Kevinmccarthy.

“Why are we in here, Kevin? I’ll tell you why. Because you and your 141 walnut-brained dino representatives and twelve sycophant Sin Hut dinos have continued this long-running charade of nonsense conspiracy theories that have convinced this – this mob of rioting, looting, pillaging, thieving, deplorable dinos outside to actually believe the lies that your leader, the T-Rump, has been telling them ad nauseum since before the election even began.”

Short arms raised, she quaked with fury. The Kevinmccarthy trembled, covering up, waiting for another rock.

“Don’t just sit there cowering. Say something. Go ahead. You can’t, can you? You can’t defend what’s happening out there. In our Kapitol Kavern. We work here. For the dinos. And we’re hiding under a rock. Disgraceful.”

The Kevinmccarthy peeked over his short arms.

“I – I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would come to this. I guess the Susancollins was wrong again. He’s really a nice guy. On Tuesdays. At 5:30. Right before supper.”

“Uh, Nancy?”

“What is it, Chuck?”

“When I stuck my nose out a minute ago? I caught the unmistakable odor of dino urine. Coming from your cave. They peed in your cave, Nancy.”

“Uh-oh.”

The Kevinmccarthy inched further away. The Nancypelosi set her jaw and ground her gums.

“That’s it. I’m through being the nice dino. 25th Amendment. If we get out of here, Kevin? Kevin. Look at me. I want you to go back to the Mincepencenow and tell him that if he’s not willing to tell Dino Nation that the T-Rump is only working with half a walnut, then the Donkeykongrus will begin impeachment proceedings immediately.”

“Again?”

“Don’t look at me like that. He’s the one going for the record.”

Just then a small pack of dinos burst into their cave.

“It’s the Animals,” said a surprised Chuckschumer.

“Save me,” whimpered the Kevinmccarthy.

“Not those animals, dummy. The real Animals. How’d you guys get in here?”

“Just walked right in,” said their leader. “We thought it was a tour. Then we figured out it, uh … wasn’t. But say, looks like you guys could use some cheering up. Or at least something else to focus on.”

“Please,” said the Nancypelosi

And the Animals played.

He hides inside wallowing in pity

Swallowing cheese with his whine

All those around him have given up trying

The situation was far from pretty

So he told them what to do

A Capitol march for the MAGA true

We knew

Watch them climb the stairs higher

Rioting in our hallways 

Insurrection to end democracy’s day

Oh yes, we knew it

He’s been tweeting so hard

He’s been jerking you, man

Now he’s gotta pay

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

He’s gotta get out of the House

There’s no telling what he will do

He’s gotta get out of the House

‘Cause man, we cannot have

Another coup

The situation was far from pretty

So he told them what to do

A Capitol march for the MAGA true

We knew it

Watch them climb the stairs higher

Rioting in our hallways

Insurrection to end democracy’s day

We knew he’s been tweeting so hard

He’s been jerking you, man

Now he’s gotta pay

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

He’s gotta get out of the House

There’s no telling what he will do

He’s gotta get out of the House

Man, we cannot have

Another coup

Right now, listen up

Right now, don’t blow it, man

He’s gotta get out of the House

There’s no telling what he will do

He’s gotta get out of the House

Man, we cannot have another coup

Believe me

Don’t blow it, man

We knew it too

……………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Donald Trump Humor

Hawley Holy Hell …

“We’ve got the Joshhawley. Tell me we still have the Joshhawley and the Dirty Dozen in the Sin Hut.”

“Yes, T-Rump.” said the Markmeadows. “They’re still in the fold. With 140 Grandoldparty dinos from the Kongrus Kave.”

The Joshhawley was a young dino from Show-Me-Mizzou. He was still wet behind the ears in most things political. Except for his sudden penchant to throw caution and the rest of his career to the wind to support the T-Rump in his bid to overturn the dino electoral college vote in two days time. Just one year earlier during the T-Rump impeachment, the Joshhawley had basically said he would push his dino grandmother of the highest cliff rather than interfere with a free and fair election. Good thing his grandmother and a high cliff were not in plain sight.

“Good. Real good. This is our second wave after the Kenpaxton’s Pack fizzled out. We need to keep the pressure on. And the Mincepencenow. Where’s he stand?”

“Well, the Louiegohmert sued him to change the electoral vote in his position as boss of the Sin Hut. But Mike had the dino judge toss it out … and, uh, now the Mincepencenow is prepared to side with you. So, you might want to get back with me tomorrow on that to see where his head’s at then. I’m thinking mother isn’t feeling well.”

“Operation Bust-Up Biden’s Big Day. How’s that coming along?”

“We’ve contacted all the unsavory White-Striped dinos in the nation — the Proudboys, the not so Proudboys and the Proudboys you’d never take home to meet your mother. You told them it’s going to be, ahem … wild  … and I just know they are, um … standing by. I – I’m getting chills just thinking about it.”

“Funny, Mark. I never took you for the rough-and-tumble dino. Alright then. Moving right along. Who are we shaking down today?”

“I believe we’re up to the Raffensperger.”

“Get him in her pronto. We need him to find 11,780 votes. Now.” 

The Markmeadows hustled out of the Oval Dwelling. Evil was brewing. Nefarious, diabolical, devil-may-care-but-the-T-Rump-certainly-doesn’t kind of evil in the Trumpassic Period underway yet again. It was the national pastime. It made the Trickydicky Watergate Straits fiasco look like a minor, accidental case of mistaken identity. The gravity of the situation was not lost on the Neildiamond, who just happened to be ambling slowly down a path about a half mile away. The pending doom in the days ahead launched two fronts in his mind. Then words met music and a dino anthem rang out through the land.

Hawley holy hell, burning liberty 

Just a sham, Josh’s scam 

Who could believe in

Hawley holy

Hawley holy hell

Haunting bloodless coup

And they came

And we ran for freedom’s high hill 

Hawley holy

Bring it on

Bring it on. You’re wrong.

Bring it on. Bring it on!

Bring. It. On!

Yeah! … Yeah!

Fall in line and get ready to fight

Those who can’t tell T-Rump good-bye

Such a stand will never be right

And their game plan, they’re gonna lie

And they lie. Hey, and they lie

Hawley holy hell

Flamed our fears gone wild

They’d mislead

Make us bleed, secede tomorrow

Hawley holy

Bring it on 

Bring it on. You’re wrong.

Bring it on, bring it on!

Bring. It. On!

Yeah! … Yeah!

Fall in line and get ready to fight

Those who can’t tell T-Rump good-bye

Such a stand will never be right

And their game plan, they’re gonna lie

And they lie … Hey 

God, they lie

Hawley holy hell

Dream we’ll soon be through

Hawley holy hell

Hawley holy hell

Hawley holy hell

……………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Donald Trump Humor Political Satire

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1439 & 1443

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-njcgg-f67e1c

Ringing in the New Year at the tail end of Trumpassic Period Year Four, this week’s T-Rump Twofer features: Day 1439 — “Fixing a Hole” … An introspective T-Rump struggles with finding the right expletive. … and Day 1443 — “Kentucky Moron” … Ah, the familiar refrains of the T-Rump dressing down someone close. … Big dino high-fives to The Beatles and Neil Diamond.

Categories
Donald Trump Humor Satire

Kentucky Moron …

“Uh, it’s good to see you back in the Oval Dwelling,” said the Moscowmitch. “It’s too bad you had to cut short your holiday at Mar-a-Guano.”

“I had to,” grunted the Tyrumposaurus. “I couldn’t sit there staring at the Tymelania’s gawd-awful scratchings on the wall one more minute, dammit!” 

“Was it Be Best or Be Worst?”

Awkward silence. The T-Rump wasn’t biting.

“Uh, well then, perhaps we should cut to the chase. Why exactly did you want to see me today?”

“Because I wanted to hear from your own mouth how the Joshhawley is doing a bang-up job, coming out like he did, ready to contest the dino electoral college votes in a few days’ time. I need to hear your warm, ringing, good cheer praise for his actions. Right here. Right now.”

Like a sudden, large bullfrog burp, the Moscowmitch’s cheeks inflated with surprise. Full of air too, but nothing close to resembling words of affirmation.

“A-hah! I was right. You can’t do it. Whose side are you on, Mitch?”

“Well … I – I did put your anti-Mediacircustops and your election fraud commission requests in the bill. Consider it dead. Dead on arrival, T-Rump. Like the other 400 stone dead bills in my cave.”

“Not good enough. Not by a longshot. Haven’t seen you in days. Hmm. The Mincepencenow has been avoiding me as well.” He pointed an accusing claw at the Moscowmitch. “You and him. You’re plotting together against me. Go ahead and admit it. I know a good conspiracy theory when I see one.”

“I don’t even like him. It’s downright embarrassing watching him … I’m sorry. I said too much. I know you enjoy his fawning adulation.”

The T-Rump had already moved on.

“And what’s with this whole kerfuffle in the Georgia Orchard? I’m going down there and have no idea what the hell I’m getting into. The Davidperdue and the Kellyloeffler want to give the dinos two thousand moolah-moolah leaves but they don’t want to say my election was rigged because they want their own votes. And you added my issues to your bill and now the dinos won’t get their two thousand that I’ve been screaming about. How the hell did we even get here? What moron is responsible for this?”

“Well, T-Rump. You’ve said a mouthful but allow me to explain.”

“Oh, so I’m the moron, am I?”

“N-o-o-o-o.”

“I’m not the moron. You’re the moron! You’re the moron! Neil! Get in here right now! ” 

The Neildiamond sheepishly entered the room and found a spot to the side of the cave. The T-Rump snorted.

“I’m not nuts. Ahem. I’ll just keep getting a second opinion. Meanwhile, I’m going to set you straight, you turkey gobbling, grey-waddled, old goofy gofer. My goofy gofer. Who is not in my corner. Hmph. We’ll see about that. Maximum embarrassment. Maximum in-your-face embarrassment. Go ahead, Neil. Let him have it.”

The musical dino raised a short arm.

“I, uh … made a few last minute adjustments …”

“Shut up and sing.”

Kentucky moron

He lines up his own to the right

He only confronts

And he tells you all to sit tight

And his power, God knows, his power

Kentucky moron

He only shows you

How much he owns you

Kentucky moron

Well, you see his turtle head turn

To excuses too lame

Vaccine aside, he’s the big shot

Of poison pill fame

And you can’t flee

God knows, you can’t flee

Kentucky moron

He only shows you

How much he owns you

Kentucky moron

He’s out of touch

Who gave Satan back his seat?

Georgia’s touch

Just the girl to

Knock him down, sit for good

Ain’t no doubt, gotta get him out

Kentucky moron

He only shows you

How much he owns you

Kentucky moron

He’s out of touch

Who gave Satan back his seat?

Georgia’s touch

Just the girl to

Knock him down, sit for good

Ain’t no doubt, gotta get him out 

Kentucky moron

He only shows you

How much he owns you

Kentucky moron

Kentucky moron

Kentucky moron

……………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!