The Mediacircustops at the daily Coronavirus task force briefing looked at one another in stunned silence. The Kushneratops had joined the T-Rump’s mostly stumble-bum crew. It was bad enough having to listen to the nonsense spewing from the T-Rump, but to put up with his snippy son-in-law as well? This was too much.
The Kushneratops stepped to the flat rock lectern. He was immediately greeted by a question from the Andersoncooper.
“I’m sorry, but I have to ask. What are you doing here?”
“Well, you need to appreciate that I too, need to occasionally step out for some fresh air.”
“You’re kidding, right? This is a Coronavirus briefing. Or at least it has been for the final ten or fifteen minutes, once your father-in-law finishes his 90-minute campaign rally.”
“I’m here with the T-Rump’s attack dino, the Peternavarro, to get Dino Nation back on it’s feet.”
“You mean you swooped in to play mister fix-it dino when you have little understanding of the behind-the-scenes problems of this pandemic. You’ve created a chaotic atmosphere that confuses the lines of authority.”
“I – I …” The Kushneratops was caught off guard. Now he knew why he spent so much time in a closed cave. These Mediacircustops were animals. “I was asked by the T-Rump to come in before …”
“It was too late?” The Andersoncooper cut him off. “It’s been more than two months since the virus first hit us. And you’re showing up just now? How, um … thoughtful.”
“I’ve called this disease a most serious issue.”
“On the contrary, when the value of the moolah-moolah leaf began falling, you told the T-Rump to ‘shy away’ from this virus thing.”
“You … you’re rankling my nerves now.”
“Rankling? I’ll show you rankling. You told dino officials across the land you would handle their requests appropriately and it turned out you were dealing with favorites and friends first. I have to say that again. Favorites and friends. Others you saved for … rankling.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Could that be because you’ve been jumping from one shiny object to another? Oh, and let’s not forget two of your most often described character traits are, wait for it … pompous and condescending.”
The Kushneratops was clearly in a huff and a puff.
“That does it.”
“Are you leaving?”
“No, I’m singing.”
It’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do
Die before I do, die before I do
You could die too cuz I’m not here for you
Nobody knows where my moolah has gone
Or T-Rump’s at the same time
If you’re holding out your hand
Get to the back of the line
It’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do
Die before I do, die before I do
You could die too cuz I’m not here for you
Makin’ my deals, Saudis callin’ all night
Telling me things were hostile
They took advantage of me
But now there’s peace on the Nile
It’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do
Die before I do, die before I do
You could die too cuz I’m not here for you
Tyvanka and I, we walk through the door
Like a queen with her king
And when she says, oh, daddy
We can do anything
It’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do
Die before I do, die before I do
You could die too cuz I’m not here for you
Oh, it’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do
Die before I do, die before I do
You could die too cuz I’m not here for you
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 