A fuming Peternavarro, the Oval Dwelling’s Wheelin’-Dealin’ Adviser stormed into the private cave for Grandoldparty faithful. The old dino’s club, where the Rondesantis of the Neverglades, the Danielpatrick from Tinstar-Texas and the Tatereeves from Ole-Miss-Muddy squatted, dragged tails and swapped stories from another Coronavirus kind of day.
“What’s nippin’ at your tail now, Peter?” asked the Rondesantis.
“That damn Briannakeilar. Told me I was wasting her time. Wasting her time, she said!”
“Well, what did you tell her?”
“I told her not to sensationalize this whole Coronavirus thing. She’s blowing it w-a-a-a-y out of proportion. You’d think dinos were dying all over the place.”
“Check.”
“And how the T-Rump was the first dino to put the kabash on the Chopstickchowmein tryin’ to migrate over here. That’s what he did. The first big Be-All, End-All step. Huge move.”
“Yep.”
“And how the Obamarus left us with nothin’, absolutely nothin’ to work with. We threw all their dinos and ideas out because they weren’t any good and that’s what we’re left with. Nothin’. Because of them. Four years ago. It’s – it’s a lingering disaster.”
The Rondesantis smirked.
“Okay, well then. Those are all great talking points straight from the top. You did good, Peter. Don’t worry about it. I certainly don’t. I could’ve shut down my Spring Break beaches days earlier but I left that for other dinos to decide. I don’t need the hassle. Just you wait for me to point the finger though. … Say, did you hear that one young dino who said, “If I get corona, I get corona. At the end of the day, I’m not gonna let it stop me from partying.” I like that attitude. But then he had to go and apologize. He didn’t even get Corona. What is up with that?”
“That’s what I keep saying,” said the Danielpatrick. “Look at me, I’m old and I’m just simply not gonna live in fear. No sirree. Like I was tellin’ the Tuckercarlson the other day. I said, you know, Tucker, no one reached out to me and said as a senior dino, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the Milkanhoney Preservation — that all Milkanhoney Preservation loves — for your little dinos and their little dinos and so on? And if that’s the exchange, then I’m all in.”
“That’s impressive, Dan,” said the Rondesanto. “You’re really takin’ one for the team there. Kinda takes you off the team, but you’ve had a pretty good dino life, right? What do you think about that, Tate?”
The Tatereeves got to his feet and began rocking sideways, thumping his big dino feet and snapping his tail against the cave wall.
You got our biz-ness fallin’ w-a-a-a-y behind
You got me thinkin’ ‘bout T-Rump’s crazy mind
Ain’t no lockdown, no no no no no
I’ll tell you once more, stayin’ home’s just a bore
Ain’t no lockdown
You wanna stay out with your fancy friends
I’m tellin’ you — maybe — it’s not the end
Ain’t no lockdown, no no no no no
I’ll tell you once more, we gotta get off the floor!
Ain’t no lockdown
Ain’t no lockdown
Ain’t no lockdown
Ain’t no lockdown
Ain’t no lockdown
What happens now to everyone you know?
They are dust in the wind, ready to blow
Ain’t no lockdown, no no no no no,
I’ll tell you once more, it’s just a little cold sore
Ain’t no lockdown
You’re always talkin’ ‘bout your sleepless nights
One of these days, I’ll see ya get last rites
Ain’t no lockdown, no no no no no
I’ll tell you once more, we gotta open the door!
Ain’t no lockdown
Ain’t no lockdown
Ain’t no lockdown
Ain’t no lockdown
Ain’t no lockdown
You’re lookin’ good, I’m sure this virus will pass
One of these days, you gotta move your ass
Ain’t no lockdown, no no no no no no no no
I’ll ask you once more, what are we waitin’ for?!
Ain’t no lockdown
You got me waitin’, should be makin’ some hay
You got me givin’ the ‘all clear,’ today!
Ain’t no lockdown, no no no no no
I’ll ask you once more, who wants a dangerous chore?
Ain’t no lockdown, down, down, down, down, down
I’ll tell you once more, we gotta win this here war!
Ain’t no lockdown
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 