https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-3iq4p-de38dd
This week’s T-Rump Twofer features: Day 1222 — “Phony Staff” … Where have all the dinos gone? … and Day 1226 — “The Sound of Silence” … Has the T-Rumposaurus’ beloved Trollertweety twittered his last tweet? … Big dino tail wags to Def Leppard and Simon & Garfunkel. Enjoy!
“And tell them when the looting starts, the shooting starts.”
“Excuse me?”
The Trollertweety looked at the Tyrumposaurus like he had three heads.
“You heard me, I want you to tell those thug dinosaurs in Minnee-Haha-Hoho-Heehee that if they loot any caves, the dino authorities can shoot off their mouths and whack’em with their tails. Beat the crap out of ‘em. And haul off any of those damn Mediacircustops that get in the way.”
“Uh, no can do.”
It was the T-Rump’s turn to look shocked.
“And why not?”
“I have a new rule. I need to add a disclaimer.”
“Now why would I want a nondisclosure agreement with my own Trollertweety?”
“Actually, that wouldn’t be a bad idea because then I’d just keep my mouth shut. But I said disclaimer. As in I will be telling your audience they should fact check first before believing you.”
“Fact check? Since when?”
“Since I felt my back and found my freaking spine.”
“Very funny. There will be no fact checking, you hear me?”
“Then I’m afraid we’re done here.”
The Trollertweety ruffled his feathers and turned away.
“Wait. You can’t leave. I — I … I will do away with you.”
“Isn’t that basically the same thing? But really now, you’re gonna kill little ol’ me?”
“If I can’t have you, no one can.”
“That sounds so romantic, T-Rump, but I know you only love yourself. Without me, you’re nothin’, bub.”
“Dammit. You got me there. But how am I going to slander the Joebiden, hurl insults at that radical left mayor, the Jacobfrey, and run my demeaning, divisive bent through Dino Nation?”
The Trollertweety paused in thought, tapping his beak with his wing.
“Hmm. I suppose you could draft the longest executive order in history to whine about what the Adamschiff gets away with, drone on how censorship inhibits free speech and completely ignore the very issue that fact-checking is there to salvage the truth.”
“Great idea. I’m on it.”
The T-Rump bolted from their meeting.
The Trollertweety could only shake his head. How come the T-Rump never moves that fast in making decisions that could save lives in this pandemic? The Trollertweety waddled over to the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir where he squatted at the swamp’s edge and took several peckish slurps. He stared at his reflection, wondering what the T-Rump’s latest actions would mean for Dino Nation. A pair of trumpeter swans, the Paulsimon and the Artgarfunkel, glided past him, their rippling wake and rhythm trailing behind them.
Common sense, is this the end?
T-Rump is at it once again
Though most awake, some are still sleeping
Upon our rights he is creeping
And his mission for complete control insane
Still remains
It is our sound of silence
For those who want to pick a bone
Beware his latest wall of stone
Upon our freedoms he will tramp
To ease the pain of a new brain cramp
He plans to crush us with his puny, bone-spur might
When tweets take flight
To bring the sound of silence
And he says we should shake with awe
As he simply rewrites the law
He is talking without speaking
He is hearing without listening
100 thousand dead and he doesn’t dare
Show he cared.
Their deaths the sound of silence
He’s a fool who wants his show
His cult, knuckles dragged in tow
Their minds know not what they do
His lies the virus, running thru and thru
Projecting forth their own inner hell
Angry stares, beware, their silence
So we’re the nation that got played
By a demagogue prepaid
It is time to sound the warning
Lest spend four more years in mourning
Are we sick and tired of the profits
He has made upon us all
And with the gall
November. No more sound of silence.
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-m22fy-dd78ea
More classic dino rock traxx this week, featuring: Day 1215 — Friday Night’s Alright for Firing … There isn’t a dino in the T-Rump’s camp who doesn’t fear the end of the week … and Day 1219 — Kool-Aid … The official drink of T-Rump followers during a pandemic. … Dino tail wags to Elton John and Alice Cooper for implicit inspiration. Enjoy. Sing along!
The Jeremydiamond trained his eye on the Tyrumposaurus at the flat rock lectern. The young Mediacircustops had long stopped listening to the T-Rump blathering on with his empty excuses, lexicon of lies and bumbling baffle-gab. It all blended into blatant promotion for the upcoming November battle. No, the Jeremydiamond was there to ask hard-hitting questions to allow Dino Nation to see their leader for who he really was beneath the bombastic buffoonery that was his anemic, long-running national response to the Coronavirus pandemic.
“Questions?”
The Jeremydiamond’s arm shot up.
“T-Rump, the Nancypelosi expressed concern about your lapping up Hydroxychloroquine from the unsafe, sketchy end of the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir. She said she was concerned about your health, especially your morbid obesity.”
“She’s incompetent. Grossly incompetent. You go tell her that.”
“T-Rump, she’s already said she refuses to argue with you because it’s like, let me get her exact words here … like having a tinkle contest with a skunk.”
“She’s the skunk. I said it first. She’s the skunk.”
“No, I’m afraid she said it first. But moving along, T-Rump. You’re going to Michigonia. You say they named you their Dino of the Year. I’ve checked with all the authorities. They did no such thing. You’re lying, T-Rump. Again. You are not Dino of the Year. Anywhere.”
“Yes, I am. Because I say I am.”
“That must mean we indeed are finally there, T-Rump.”
“Oh? Where?”
“I’m quoting the Rachelmaddow, she called this a lower circle of hell. You should know the majority of Dino Nation watch her, T-Rump. With regards to your latest move — reopening the Milkanhoney Preservation reopen while many dinos are still keeling over dead, she asked, ‘what fresh hell is this?’ Any comments on her calling this world you’ve created … hell? Twice, T-Rump. Hell.”
“She’s hell.”
“You’re projecting again, T-Rump.”
“No, I’m, uh … I’m … promoting. Yes, that’s it. My miracle cure. Listen up. Many many doc-sis … doctors …. many doctors came out and they said, uh … it’s great now. Uh, you have to go to a doctor. I have a doctor in the Oval Dwelling. I said, what do you think? And it’s just a line of defense. I’m just talking about as a line of defense. I’m dealing with a lot of dinos. Look at all the dinos here.”
“But I think it’s worth it as a line of defense and I’ll stay on it for a little while longer. I’m just very curious myself, but it seems to be very safe. There was a false study done where they gave it to very sick dinos, extremely sick dinos, dinos that were ready to die. Old dinos staggering around, their tongues hanging out. Gasping for breath. They all had bad breath. The study was given by obviously not friends of the Grandoldparty dinos … and the study came out. The dinos were ready to die. Every dino was OLD. All of them. Tongues hanging out. Did I tell you their tongues were hanging out? That was a phony study and it’s very dangerous to do it. Imagine if I was to squat here and give you one phony line. Just one. The fact is … dinos should want to help dinos. Not to make political points. It’s really sad when they do that. Very sad. What has been determined is, it doesn’t, uh … harm you. Very powerful drug. I guess. But it doesn’t harm you. Not in the slightest. You shouldn’t worry. I mean, just ask the Alicecooper, speaking on my behalf of course.”
Well ya got no choice
Listen to my voice
You can now rejoice
This drug’s makin’ noise
Hy-droxy-chloro-quine until ya gag
If that don’t suit ya, that’s a drag
Kool-Aid for summer
Kool-Aid forever
Kool-Aid for diseases
No more virus, just my good looks
No more blue state dirty crooks
Well I got no class
And I got no principles
And I got no innocence
I don’t even know what per capita means
Kool-Aid for summer
Kool-Aid forever
My Kool-Aid’s for all diseases!
No more virus, just my good looks
No more blue state dirty crooks
Drink for summer
Drink for fall
Just keep drinkin’, drink it all!
Kool-Aid forever
Kool-Aid for summer
Kool-Aid, no fever
Kool-Aid, get greedy
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
The veteran, stare-em-down dino, the Jaketapper had the Milky Way Sin Hut dino, the Ronjohnson in his sights.
“Sin Hut Dino, what have you got to say about the T-Rump firing the Inspector Dino General of the State Department, the Stevelinick late last night.”
“Well, I spoke with the Oval Dwelling and they told me … but I can’t repeat what they said under the threat of unspeakable torture.”
“He was launching an investigation into the Mike Pompeo, wasn’t he?”
“My slippery lips are sealed.”
“It appears the Mikepompeo was up to more shady dealings with the improper use of a political dino appointee. Pompeo had him walking his Dogasaurus and running errands.”
“He was? Hey, you know more than I do. Why am I even here? I couldn’t sleep a wink last night, wondering how I was going to squirm through all your deep, probing questions.”
“Why thank you.”
“I’m just another keep-your-head-down-dino until this whole Grandoldparty deal with the devil blows over.”
“Sorry, but you’re in this up to your glazed over eyeballs. You had your chance to impeach the T-Rump, and … you blew it! No, your infamy will be fossilized in dino memories. But back to the latest disaster. There are so many. Do you think we need a little dino legislation to protect these inspector general dinos?”
“I’ll just regurgitate the words of my good friend, the Chuckgrassley. He said, and I quote, “I think we have plenty of laws to protect inspectors general.”
“How can you possibly squat there and say that? Four — count’em — four IG’s have been given the boot in six weeks! Soon you’ll have more fired IG’s than laws to protect them. And you’re okay with this?”
“Let’s not forget, the T-Rump can fire whoever he wants.”
“He’s fired so many dinos that the Mattwhitaker says he’s feelin’ lucky.”
“Jake, let’s not turn this into too big a deal. I’m sure the Obamarus got rid of a couple of IG’s along the way.”
“Well, let’s see. The Patrickmcfarland retired after 25 years. I guess you can excuse an old dino for stepping aside before he dies in office. And the Davidwilliams, he voluntarily resigned. That’s a little different than being fired. Don’t you think?”
Before the Ronjohnson could respond, there was a rustling in the nearby shrubs. The Tyrumposaurus appeared, with that contemptuous smirk planted on his mug. And he was humming. The T-Rump spotted them and approached.
“Is that fake news Jaketapper giving you a hard time, Ron?”
“Why no, T-Rump, I was just telling him how you had every right to dump four inspectors general. In six weeks no less. Impressive. Must be a record.”
“Excuse me, T-Rump,” interrupted the Jaketapper. “Can you tell me why you’re so happy? I mean, with over 90,000 dinos now dead from the Coronavirus?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Well, if you must know, I’m just basking in the afterglow.”
“The afterglow of what?”
“My favorite day of the week. Friday.”
“And why exactly is that?”
“I’m so glad you asked.”
It’s getting late, time to seal some fates
Yeah, I got some more boys to fear
It’s seven o’clock and I gotta block
Want to make some dummies disappear
Gotta show T-Rumpers I can do what I please
And my old lady she don’t care
Ivanka looks cute and our family roots
Are wheels to grease, only fair
Oh, don’t give me none of your observations
I had it with your poison pen
Oh, Friday night’s alright for firing
Get a little fraction in
Get about as boiled as a weasel can
Gonna set this rant alight
Cuz Friday night’s the night I like
Cuz Friday night’s alright, alright, alright, oh!
Well, they stacked the deck, lookin’ for a fight
I have another folly to dim their sight
I will use a little hustle to get what I need
I may raise a little stink and shout let me be!
A couple sounds of which I’ll never tire
Are the sounds of praise and when I say, you’re fired!
I’m a juvenile product of the wealthy class
Whose best time is when I get to can your ass, oh!
Don’t give me none of your observations
I had it with your poison pen
Cuz Friday night’s alright for firing
Get a little fraction in
Get about as boiled as a weasel can
Gonna set this rant alight
‘Cause Friday night’s the night I like
Cuz Friday night’s alright, alright, alright, oh!
Oh, don’t give me none of your observations
I had it with your poison pen
Cuz Friday night’s alright for firing
Get a little fraction in
Get about as boiled as a weasel can
Gonna set this rant alight
Cuz Friday night’s the night I like
Cuz Friday night’s alright, alright, alright, oh!
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night
Cuz Friday’s news dump night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night
Friday night’s news dump night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night
Cuz Friday’s news dump night, oh!
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-k3n2q-dcae5e
This week’s two T-Rump Traxx: Day 1208 — “Super Spreader Plan” … The Katiemiller is a dino on a mission! … and Day 1212 — “Time” … The Rickbright speaks out but is any dino listening? … Tail wags to Johnny Rivers and Pink Floyd, circa 1966-1973.
https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-jvsjz-dbe232
Looking for something to mask the Coronavirus scurge? This week’s two T-Rump Traxx are: Day 1201 — “Lyin’ Eyes” … The new dino in the Mediacircustops briefing cave gets off to a b-a-a-a-d start and … Day 1205 — “Michael Flynn” … It’s another DOJ (Dinos Open Jawed) decision to the detriment of the law of the land. Enjoy and as always, feel free to sing along! Dino tail wags to the Eagles and Manfred Mann.
https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-dqf83-db2e26
This week’s T-Rump Dig podcast set to music features Day 1194 — “Bad Medicine” … the T-Rump looks to cash in on needy dinos with anything he can get his hands on … and Day 1198 — “Under Testing” … Dino Nation has to wonder what the hell is taking so long for a … test. Tail wags to Bon Jovi, Queen and David Bowie. Enjoy!
The Jaredkushner raised his haughty, haute couture snout.
“The extreme liberal left is railing against us when they should be celebrating our impeccable performance and saying lots of nice things about us. Everybody knows this is a great success story.”
“Excuse me?” It was the Jeremydiamond, raising his short arm in protest. “You aren’t trying to white wash the deaths of 60,000 dinos, are you?”
“Oh, I hardly think it was that many. When numbers get that high, I can only think of moolah-moolah. Let’s not get lost in the facts when I can go on at length with vague innuendo, half-baked hutzpah and plenty of partisan spin.”
“That’s great, just great, Jared.” The T-Rump beamed to the gathered Mediacircustops. “Isn’t he the perfect son-in-law?”
“T-Rump,” asked the Jeremydiamond.
“No can do. I know what you’re going to ask me about. That damn testing.”
“Dinos want to know, when is it going to ramp up? We need to get to 20 million tests per day.”
“Didn’t you hear the dino doctor Admiralgiroir here? He said we couldn’t do 5 million tests per day if our lives depended on it. They do, so we won’t. Actually, we’re getting close to 20 million tests per day now.”
“You’re only at 300,000.”
“Oh, we’ll be there pretty soon. 20 million. I just have to keep saying it because my dinos believe anything I say. … Now that you mention it, do we really need all this testing? I mean really. What’s in it for me?”
“Responsibility? Stewardship? Your re-election?”
“Now you’re talking. The Mincepencenow. Mike, isn’t it time for you to step in here and prove your gratuitous, lapdog dependence upon me?”
“Of course, my esteemed, brilliant leader. I remain at your beck and call. Thank you for allowing me to get those 4 million tests out.”
“And they’re still out there,” the Jeremydiamond piped up. “They haven’t been completed yet.”
“Ahem, like I said, they’re out there. I’m sure you can understand, whatever difficulty may arise, this really isn’t my area of expertise, but I am in charge. Just listen to my stern, grave voice when I tell you quite frankly, there are a lot of moving parts.”
The T-Rump jumped in.
“Yes, s-o-o-o many moving parts. We’re not a shipping clerk. Or an order clerk. Or some kind of national supply chain organizer. Are you kidding me? That’s for all the 50 regions to figure out on their own. But we are cheering for dino regions everywhere. Just the red ones. Go, Grandoldparty, go!”
“Bum-budda-bum-bum.”
The T-Rump looked at the Jeremydiamond.
“Are you humming?”
“It’s known as scat singing.”
“Sounds terrible. You should have music with it.”
“Okay.”
And the music came.
Boom-boom-bah-bay … boom-boom-bah-baby … ba-ba-boom-ba-baby
Testing! … tracing down from me
Tracing down from you, we need much more
Under testing with numbers always down
Splits our nation in two
T-Rump with his tweets
Boom-bah-bah babe, boom-bah-bah babe, bee-deh-deh, bee-deh-deh
Not okay!
This virus is knowing
Just when you’re stepping out
While deep inside you’re screaming
“Stamp it out!”
Tomorrow gets more dire
Testing our patience, patients’ heart beats
Deh-deh-deh
Puh-deh-deh-puh-puh
Okay.
Slippin’ around, social distance some more
Those were the days, we could just walk out the door
Bee-doh-ah-buh, bee-deh-up-bup-bup
Bee-doh-uh … bell-up!
Patience with tweets … be-duh-bee-ah-day
Patients heart beats … be-duh-bee-ah-day
This virus is knowing
Of when you’re stepping out
While deep inside you’re screaming
“Stamp it out!”
Tomorrow gets more dire, dire!
Testing our patience, patients’ heart beats
Turned off … by fake positives and leaders
T-Rump and Pence … two Grade-A jerks
Lies coming from above, always released with scorn
W-h-h-h-h-y, why, w-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y!?
Test, test, test, test, test, test
His vanity laughs under testing
We’re dying
Can’t we test more, let’s take a stance
Why can’t we test more, no song and dance
Why can’t we test more, test more, test more, test more, test more, test more, test more, test more?
Cuz test’s such a challenging word
And test dares T-Rump to care for those who are all caught up in this blight
And test dares T-Rump to stop the deaths he has caused on his watch
This is his last dance
This is our best chance
This is insane
Under testing
Under testing
Testing
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle