The veteran, stare-em-down dino, the Jaketapper had the Milky Way Sin Hut dino, the Ronjohnson in his sights.
“Sin Hut Dino, what have you got to say about the T-Rump firing the Inspector Dino General of the State Department, the Stevelinick late last night.”
“Well, I spoke with the Oval Dwelling and they told me … but I can’t repeat what they said under the threat of unspeakable torture.”
“He was launching an investigation into the Mike Pompeo, wasn’t he?”
“My slippery lips are sealed.”
“It appears the Mikepompeo was up to more shady dealings with the improper use of a political dino appointee. Pompeo had him walking his Dogasaurus and running errands.”
“He was? Hey, you know more than I do. Why am I even here? I couldn’t sleep a wink last night, wondering how I was going to squirm through all your deep, probing questions.”
“Why thank you.”
“I’m just another keep-your-head-down-dino until this whole Grandoldparty deal with the devil blows over.”
“Sorry, but you’re in this up to your glazed over eyeballs. You had your chance to impeach the T-Rump, and … you blew it! No, your infamy will be fossilized in dino memories. But back to the latest disaster. There are so many. Do you think we need a little dino legislation to protect these inspector general dinos?”
“I’ll just regurgitate the words of my good friend, the Chuckgrassley. He said, and I quote, “I think we have plenty of laws to protect inspectors general.”
“How can you possibly squat there and say that? Four — count’em — four IG’s have been given the boot in six weeks! Soon you’ll have more fired IG’s than laws to protect them. And you’re okay with this?”
“Let’s not forget, the T-Rump can fire whoever he wants.”
“He’s fired so many dinos that the Mattwhitaker says he’s feelin’ lucky.”
“Jake, let’s not turn this into too big a deal. I’m sure the Obamarus got rid of a couple of IG’s along the way.”
“Well, let’s see. The Patrickmcfarland retired after 25 years. I guess you can excuse an old dino for stepping aside before he dies in office. And the Davidwilliams, he voluntarily resigned. That’s a little different than being fired. Don’t you think?”
Before the Ronjohnson could respond, there was a rustling in the nearby shrubs. The Tyrumposaurus appeared, with that contemptuous smirk planted on his mug. And he was humming. The T-Rump spotted them and approached.
“Is that fake news Jaketapper giving you a hard time, Ron?”
“Why no, T-Rump, I was just telling him how you had every right to dump four inspectors general. In six weeks no less. Impressive. Must be a record.”
“Excuse me, T-Rump,” interrupted the Jaketapper. “Can you tell me why you’re so happy? I mean, with over 90,000 dinos now dead from the Coronavirus?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Well, if you must know, I’m just basking in the afterglow.”
“The afterglow of what?”
“My favorite day of the week. Friday.”
“And why exactly is that?”
“I’m so glad you asked.”
It’s getting late, time to seal some fates
Yeah, I got some more boys to fear
It’s seven o’clock and I gotta block
Want to make some dummies disappear
Gotta show T-Rumpers I can do what I please
And my old lady she don’t care
Ivanka looks cute and our family roots
Are wheels to grease, only fair
Oh, don’t give me none of your observations
I had it with your poison pen
Oh, Friday night’s alright for firing
Get a little fraction in
Get about as boiled as a weasel can
Gonna set this rant alight
Cuz Friday night’s the night I like
Cuz Friday night’s alright, alright, alright, oh!
Well, they stacked the deck, lookin’ for a fight
I have another folly to dim their sight
I will use a little hustle to get what I need
I may raise a little stink and shout let me be!
A couple sounds of which I’ll never tire
Are the sounds of praise and when I say, you’re fired!
I’m a juvenile product of the wealthy class
Whose best time is when I get to can your ass, oh!
Don’t give me none of your observations
I had it with your poison pen
Cuz Friday night’s alright for firing
Get a little fraction in
Get about as boiled as a weasel can
Gonna set this rant alight
‘Cause Friday night’s the night I like
Cuz Friday night’s alright, alright, alright, oh!
Oh, don’t give me none of your observations
I had it with your poison pen
Cuz Friday night’s alright for firing
Get a little fraction in
Get about as boiled as a weasel can
Gonna set this rant alight
Cuz Friday night’s the night I like
Cuz Friday night’s alright, alright, alright, oh!
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night
Cuz Friday’s news dump night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night
Friday night’s news dump night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night, Friday night
Friday night, Friday night
Cuz Friday’s news dump night, oh!
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 