Tag: Politics

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Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Liberation …

“That left coast tree-hugger, the Jayinslee, said I was fomenting a domestic rebellion. Fomenting, he said. Do I look like I’m foaming at the mouth?”

He knew dinos in the audience would go bonkers if he did. The Tyrumposaurus looked out over the crowd of his unwashed, unfathoming faithful at this hastily called rally in Michigonia at Lansing-Boils. All the experts said he absolutely, positively should NOT be holding this rally in the middle of the Coronavirus outbreak. But it was an itch he simply HAD to scratch. He’d gone weeks without mass adulation. Pandemic be damned. He was just getting started.

“Foaming at the mouth. I think I’d look okay foaming at the mouth. … Then there’s the dino mayor, the Billdeblasio. He accused me of waiting for Manhattinhand to drop dead. I used to live in Manhattinhand. Nobody’s going to drop dead. Some dinos are going to get a little sick. A few may drop dead. Just a few. But hey, what is the governor going to do about it? I don’t talk to mayors. Okay, I talk to them. But I don’t listen. The Andrewcuomo, he needs to be nice to me. Maybe then I’ll be nice to him.”

 “And the Fridaghitis. Poor, poor Fridaghitis. She can’t help herself with the fake news. What did she say, you ask? I’ll tell you. We’ve got all night. I want to get Dino Nation life back to normal, get out of our caves. She accused me of undercutting the guidelines I put in place yesterday with the dino health experts. That I was contradicting my own guidance and undercutting — there’s that word again, such a cruel, nasty word — that I was undercutting the credibility of the entire mitigation effort. Blaming me for telling dinos it was safe to ignore the stay-in-your-cave order, blaming me for more dino deaths to come. Who, me? Please.”

“Wait, there’s more. Frida was having a field day with the fake news. Ol’ Fake News Field Day Frida. She said I was calling for disobedience during a most unstable time, was how she put it. Look. I’m standing right here. I ask you, how can you have an unstable time with a stable genius like me? You can’t. She says you dinos are angry and frustrated and that violence is looming. O-o-o-o-o-h. Looming. Scary stuff. … Well, guess what. I don’t see anger and frustration. I see thousands of …” the T-Rump sighed, “… peaceful dinos. Peaceful dinos like swans in a placid lagoon. It’s the Donkeykongrus dinos who are raving, extreme lunatics.”

“Just like Fake News Field Day Frida … she finished her fake news by saying that I was inciting you and that once you acted, I wouldn’t be able to rein you in. Emotions running high and all. No guarantees that I could control you. Well, guess what. I don’t control you. You’re responsible dinos able to make your own decisions. I understand that depends on what day you’re listening to me. New day. New decision. My decision. Your decision. There’s a link in there somewhere. A tiny link. But don’t just take my word for it. Would you like some real news?”

The resulting dino roar shook the jungle to its damp, soggy roots.

“The Lauraingraham — bless her heart — she said it’s time to get your freedom back. And the Jeaninepirro, the great judge who likes to lock bad Donkeykongrus dinos up, she said that the Dino Nation spirit is too strong, that the Dino Nation is not going to take it. She also said that protests like the one we’re having here, they may spread across Dino Nation. Now before the fake news Mediacircustops go crazy, let me just remind everyone, it’s not my fault. Who am I to stop you? So in closing, you’re just going to have to do what’s best for you. And me. Remember November? Of course you do. So I have a little song for you to help, uh … steer you in the right direction. A cool direction since the gang’s all here. Like my Trollertweeties flying overhead this week. Just an opinion. Complete with lyrics. And a beat.”

 

Yahoo!

This is your liberation

Yahoo!

This is your liberation

 

Liberate, showtime, come on!

Let’s liberate

Liberate full-time, come on!

Let’s liberate

 

There’s Michigan right here beside us

A liberation to last through the virus

So bring Minnesota and Virginia too

We gonna get them in our back-to-work coup 

 

Come on now, liberation

Let’s all liberate, I say it’s high time

Liberation

We gonna liberate, and build me a shrine 

 

It’s time to divide an’ conquer

It’s up to you, blame the gov’nor

Everyone get somethin’ to hurl, come on!

 

Yahoo!

It’s a liberation

Yahoo!

 

Liberate your dime, come on!

It’s a liberation

Liberate my dime, come on!

Let’s liberate

 

There’s Michigan right here beside us

A liberation to last through the virus

So bring Minnesota and Virginia too

We gonna get them in our back-to-work coup

 

Come on now, liberation

Let’s all liberate because it’s high time 

Liberation

We gonna liberate because it’s high time

 

It’s time to divide an’ conquer

It’s up to you, blame the gov’nor

Everyone get somethin’ to hurl, come on!

 

Yahoo!

It’s a liberation

Yahoo!

It’s a liberation

 

Liberate some crime, come on!

Let’s liberate, come on now

Liberate, it’s fine, come on!

Let’s liberate

 

We’re gonna fight the Corona fight

Let’s liberate, it’s our right

You’re gonna maybe get sick tonight

Let’s liberate, it’s our right, baby

 

We’re gonna fight the Corona fight

Let’s liberate, it’s our right

You’re gonna maybe get sick tonight

Let’s liberate, it’s our right

 

Yahoo!

Yahoo!

 

Liberate, showtime, come on!

Let’s liberate

 

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1180 & 1184

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-xgiau-d99d1b

This week’s double-shot of T-Rump Traxx feature: Day 1180 — “Unforgivable” … The Newyorktimesian dinos get the drop on the T-Rump … and Day 1184 — “Working by the Weekend” … The Stephenmoore has big news for the latest Coronavirus briefing with the Mediacircustops. Tail wags to Nat King Cole, Natalie Cole and Loverboy. For the Eclectic Dino Classic Rock taste in all of us. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Working by the Weekend …

The Tyrumposaurus was brimming with enthusiasm as he gripped the edge of the flat rock lectern for today’s Coronavirus briefing before the acceptably socially-distanced Mediacircustops. 

“Hello. How are my ratings so far? Sit tight. They’ll be even better in a minute. Because I bring good news to this … this … thing. This silent killer. We need to get our dino daily lives back up and running. That’s why I have set up another Coronavirus committee … what are we up to now, about 8? I’m calling it the Great Get Off Your Butt and Make Dino Nation Great Again Group. More of my best and brightest. That’s why I’ve named the Stephenmoore as the leader of this group. Stephen, can you come over and say a few words for us?”

The Stephenmoore shuffled meekly to the lectern.

“Hello. Heh-heh. Thank you, T-Rump. Heh-heh. Thank you for naming me to this post. Thank you also for trying to get me named to the Big Dino Moolah-Moolah Board before. Even though it didn’t quite work out. Heh-heh. I think it was because of my nervous laugh. Heh-heh. Heh-heh. As leader of the Great Get Off Your Butt and Make Dino Nation Great Again Group, heh-heh, I love that name, we need to make some real decisions here … heh-heh … before the Milkanhoney Preservation falls off into a catastrophic calamity of Great Depression proportions, where our dino way of life will be corpses gathering dust in the wind. Heh-heh. I think that got your attention. Heh-heh. Because we need to get back to our normal dino way of life, starting, like tomorrow. Heh-heh. Thankfully, heh-heh, I have a five-point plan.”

He shuffled his feet for emphasis.

“First off, we need to praise the T-Rump profusely. Because that’s the way to stay on his good side. I should know. Heh-heh. Secondly, everybody needs to get back in the pool. Any pool will do. Make a splash. Heh-heh. Third, absolutely, positively no sneezing. Period. Our fourth point. Look, we’ve been pretty unlucky thus far — geez 32,000 dino deaths — so always, always, always keep your fingers crossed. And finally, the fifth and most important point of our plan is to try to stay healthy because face it, heh-heh … there simply isn’t enough testing to go around. I’ll take one or two questions now, heh-heh. No tough ones, okay? Heh-heh.”

“That’s a plan?” It was the Jimacosta in the front row. “You’re going to get us all killed.”

“Oh, no. I wouldn’t … heh-heh … say ‘all.’ There may be some. But we’re looking at social chaos already. I did mention calamity. Heh-heh. Chaos, death? Not a pretty picture. Heh-heh. These are tough times we live in. But I’m a leader now. Heh-heh.”

“Please tell us some other dinos — any dino — is advising you on this?”

“Well, heh-heh … I listen to a lot of dinos. Pretty much those who will listen to me. Heh-heh. The Gregabbott of Tinstar Texas is a great sounding board. Don’t pay attention to that Andrewcuomo, though. He’s all doom and gloom. Boom goes the gloom. Heh-heh.”

The Jimacosta was visibly stunned.

“So, let me get this straight. You’re putting profit over health?”

“Here we go, here we go. That’s a false dichotomy. Just plain false. Ohmigosh. Greed and profits ahead of dino life. No, no, no. You might want to look at Zona-Cactus. I’ll bet two-thirds of that region doesn’t have one sick dino. Let’s start with Zona-Cactus, okay? What do we have to lose? Heh-heh.”

“But, but, this is a communicable disease that isn’t spreading like wildfire only because we’re staying in our caves. Your five-point plan sounds like a wing and a prayer. Is that all you have?”

“I’m glad you asked that. Heh-heh. No, it’s not all. I also have a song that I’m sure — okay, I’m hoping — heh-heh … that will get Dino Nation up and going. Hit it, boys!

 

Everyone’s stirring, got cabin fever too 

Everyone calls it the flu, oh

Everyone’s wondering why they’re at home tonight

Everyone’s waiting for the green light, the green light

 

Everybody’s working by the weekend

Everybody needs a cash advance

Everybody who just lost a dear friend

Everybody takes a second chance, oh

 

You wanna piece of my heart?

In case yours doesn’t restart

You wanna see the spread slow?

C’mon, baby, who knows?

 

Everyone’s thinking about what they should do

Everyone doesn’t have a clue

Everyone’s hoping that they don’t check out

Everyone’s praying they just get gout.

 

Everybody’s working by the weekend

Everybody wants a cash advance, hell ya!

Everybody who just lost a dear friend

Everybody takes a second chance, oh

 

You wanna piece of my heart?

In case yours doesn’t restart

You wanna see the spread slow?

C’mon, baby, who knows?

 

Hey! Back up, man. 6 feet!

 

You wanna piece of my heart?

In case yours doesn’t restart

You wanna see the spread slow?

C’mon, baby, who knows?

 

You wanna piece of my heart?

In case yours doesn’t restart

You wanna see the spread slow?

C’mon, baby, who knows?

 

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Unforgivable …

It was a familiar site these days at the daily Coronavirus Mediacircustops briefing. If his Trollertweety blasts over head weren’t mind numbing enough, the Tyrumposaurus’ delivery from the bully pulpit was sure to crack the most patient of walnut brains. And he droned on.

“No wonder my ratings are going up. I was the one who stepped in to shut the migration down from Chopstickchowmein. And that Peternavarro memo from weeks ago? Never saw it. Not in a million years. I wasn’t thinking about it before he was even thinking of it, okay? On that note — the thinking part — because I do all the thinking around here, I really felt this was a pandemic long before the expert dinos were thinking of calling it a pandemic. Long before. You can blame the Obamarus and blame the rest of the Donkeykongrus while you’re at it. They didn’t get behind me. They tried to impeach me instead. So I can be excused if it took my mind off things just for a second. One tiny second. If I forgot a couple of things along the way, it’s because I had to be a cheerleader to get Dino Nation back on track. A cheerleader, can you believe it? Rah, rah as they say. Look at me. I’m doing it all. Gee, look at the sun. Time flies. It’s been 90 minutes of me.  I guess I could take a few questions now.”

At the back of the cave, a Newyorktimesian dino, the Ericlipton, raised his short arm. The T-Rump spotted him.

“Ah, fake news. There you are. You fake news dinos are all alike.”

“Fact-checking you is a full-time job,” replied the Ericlipton, “Dino Nation can rest assured we sift through all the lies to keep you honest, T-Rump.”

The dino leader bristled.

“Okay, you blew it. You’re a horrible Mediacircustops. I’m not taking your question. So, there.” 

“I’m sorry. Did you think I was going to ask you a question?”

“Uh. … Heh-heh. That’s why you’re here. Right?”

“No question. But I do have a song for you. Actually, we have a song for you. Five more Newyorktimesian dinos beside him stood up. They included the Davidsanger, the Maggiehaberman, the Michaelshear, the Markmazzetti and the Julianbarnes.

The T-Rump gripped the flat rock lectern and scowled at them.

“So, you’re ganging up on me, are you?”

“It takes a lot of talent to write a great song.”

The T-Rump was taken aback.

“A great song, huh? Well, it would be if it’s about me.”

“Did you want to hear it?”

“Are you kidding? Of course I want to hear it. You know I’m receptive to any and all news that pertains to me. Especially when it’s entertaining. Er, what’s the song called?” 

“Unforgivable.”

“Hah! You mean ‘Unforgettable.’ You can’t even get that right.”

“On the contrary …”

 

Unforgivable, is what you did

Unforgivable, in what you hid

You made a mess of poor Messonier

She warned you in mid-February

Social isolation was in store

 

Unforgivable, letting Pence hold sway

Stalling the alarm, truth in the way

That’s why, dummy, it’s just logical

That something so unforgivable, 

Came from a pompous, moronic imbecile like you 

 

Unforgivable, how the cases grew

From fifteen to four thousand, not just one or two

A million positives, it’s incredible

It’s something so unforgivable, 

It’s many thousands dead and counting, thanks to you 

 

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1173 & 1177

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ff4ch-d8edc0

It’s the T-Rump tag-team that’s wreaking havoc across Dino Nation — the Kushneratops and the Peternavarro! Our two T-Rump sing-along traxx this week are: Day 1173 — “It’s My Stockpile” … The Kushneratops suffers a compassion conniption … and Day 1177 — “Blinded by Science” … When the Peternavarro locks horns with the Tonyfaucci, something’s gotta give! … Big dino tail wag to Leslie Gore and Thomas Dolby, the only place on the web you’ll see them in the same sentence. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Blinded by Science …

The ever-glib Mediacircustops, the Johnberman, was speaking with that Tyrumposaurus’ Wheelin’ Dealin’ special advisor you can’t keep down try as you might — the Peternavarro. The special advisor was harping about a new potential cure from the hopeful-but-still-sour end of the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir.

The Johnberman sized up the Peternavarro. This was like raiding a dodo bird’s nest in broad daylight.

“Peter, the good dino doc, the Tonyfaucci, said that the data at best is merely suggestive. There may be an effect. Maybe no effect. You can’t definitively say this.”

“John, the doctor can speak for himself but I would have two words for you. Cash cow. Let’s just not mention the bad stuff, okay? There are numerous studies that show a slurp or two of this just may be good for what ails you. Like Coronavirus. Sounds kinda like Crohn’s Disease, doesn’t it? Heck, it just might cure that too.”

“Hang on, hang on, Peter. Inquiring dino minds want to know. What weeds on God’s green earth have you been eating to make you think you can for one instant question the medicine of Doctor Faucci?”

“It’s not just about me. Let me put you in touch with a few dino docs on our side of the fence, if you promise not to dig too deep into their credentials. They can speak a lot more eloquently than me on this.”

“I’ll bet.”

“It’s like this, John. Dino docs disagree all the time. That gives me every right to enter the fray because I’m a social scientist, a PHD …”

“I’m sorry, did you say PHD?”

“Post Hyper Dementia. You see, I understand how to read statistics — I call’em stats for short — I know how to read’em whether they’re in medicine or law, economics or whatever, astrology or women’s issues, feng shui or fictional characters …”

“I’m sorry, that doesn’t qualify you to treat patients. You know it doesn’t qualify you.”

“Hang on, John. John, John, John, John. … John. All I’m asking is for you to understand. Just think a little outside that square thing, okay.”

“Dinos are going to be buried in that square thing.”

“Okay, okay. I admit it. You’re backing me into a corner now. My teeth are showing, John. Hear me growl. There are down sides to this. In some cases there are — God, I can’t believe I’m saying this, the T-Rump is going to kill me — negative effects.

“Not to put too fine a point on it. You mean deadly.”

The Peternavarro shrugged.

“Heart, vision, probably a few other things as well. Of course, the dino patient and doctor might want to talk it over first. I’m just here to get w-a-a-a-y out in front of it.”

“Peter, I’ve spoken with a few dino docs and they have been unanimous in their response. We don’t know. So, let’s be clear here, you are a social scientist dino with no medical training whatsoever who says that this is the cure. Why should we listen to you and not Doctor Faucci?

“Because it takes two dinos to have a debate and you know what, that reminds me. I’m gonna go and give that Doctor Faucci another piece of my mind. So you have a story for tomorrow. Did I tell you I know the finer points of publicity?”

With that, the Peternavarro up and left, a sneer on his face he couldn’t wait to put to good use.

The next day the Johnberman was strolling down a path in the neighborhood when he caught sight of a familiar image. It was the Peternavarro off to the side of the path downwind. As the Mediacircustops veteran drew closer, he saw that the Peternavarro appeared agitated. He also looked a little rough around the gills. The Johnberman paused. Was the Peternavarro talking to himself? The Johnberman suddenly felt a pang of guilt for raking the special advisor over the coals the previous day. He reached out to him.

“Peter, are you okay?”

Startled, the Peternavarro jumped back a foot. There was a wild look in his eyes as he looked past the Johnberman, seeing him but not seeing him, raising his short arms to the sky.

 

Ha!

It’s hydroxychloroquine

T-Rump’s doctors said to me

As sweet as any potion

So I spoke to Doctor Faucci

But he blinded me with science

He blinded me with science! 

He told me to efficacy

 

Yeah

Second opinion, right here

Science! 

I know nineteen chemicals

Science! 

Science! 

 

No, but it’s hydroxychloroquine

T-Rump’s doctors said to me

As sweet as any potion

When I spoke to Doctor Faucci

He blinded me with science

He blinded me with science! 

What’s therapeutically?

 

Did you know I’m a P–H–D?

Science!

I really like to study, you see

Science!

 

Ha! It’s hydroxychloroquine

A miracle, sure to be

No deaths in this promotion

But then that Doctor Faucci

He blinded me with science

He blinded me with science! 

You know I’m not some wannabe

 

Listen, I know medicine or law or whatever 

 

Cuz

Because I’ve got …

Qual-ifi-kay-shuns

I read for social, science and for fun!

Don’t call me a liar

For all my quotes

And all my crazy notions

But it’s Hydroxychloroquine

All these doctors said to me

As sweet as any potion

But then that damn Doctor Faucci

Huh, he blinded me with science

He blinded me with science! 

He blinded me with …

 

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

It’s My Stockpile …

The Mediacircustops at the daily Coronavirus task force briefing looked at one another in stunned silence. The Kushneratops had joined the T-Rump’s mostly stumble-bum crew. It was bad enough having to listen to the nonsense spewing from the T-Rump, but to put up with his snippy son-in-law as well? This was too much.

The Kushneratops stepped to the flat rock lectern. He was immediately greeted by a question from the Andersoncooper.

“I’m sorry, but I have to ask. What are you doing here?”

“Well, you need to appreciate that I too, need to occasionally step out for some fresh air.”

“You’re kidding, right? This is a Coronavirus briefing. Or at least it has been for the final ten or fifteen minutes, once your father-in-law finishes his 90-minute campaign rally.”

“I’m here with the T-Rump’s attack dino, the Peternavarro, to get Dino Nation back on it’s feet.”

“You mean you swooped in to play mister fix-it dino when you have little understanding of the behind-the-scenes problems of this pandemic. You’ve created a chaotic atmosphere that confuses the lines of authority.”

“I – I …” The Kushneratops was caught off guard. Now he knew why he spent so much time in a closed cave. These Mediacircustops were animals. “I was asked by the T-Rump to come in before  …”

“It was too late?” The Andersoncooper cut him off. “It’s been more than two months since the virus first hit us. And you’re showing up just now? How, um … thoughtful.”

“I’ve called this disease a most serious issue.”

“On the contrary, when the value of the moolah-moolah leaf began falling, you told the T-Rump to ‘shy away’ from this virus thing.”

“You … you’re rankling my nerves now.”

“Rankling? I’ll show you rankling. You told dino officials across the land you would handle their requests appropriately and it turned out you were dealing with favorites and friends first. I have to say that again. Favorites and friends. Others you saved for … rankling.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Could that be because you’ve been jumping from one shiny object to another? Oh, and let’s not forget two of your most often described character traits are, wait for it … pompous and condescending.”

The Kushneratops was clearly in a huff and a puff.

“That does it.”

“Are you leaving?”

“No, I’m singing.”

 

It’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do

Die before I do, die before I do

You could die too cuz I’m not here for you

Nobody knows where my moolah has gone

Or T-Rump’s at the same time

If you’re holding out your hand

Get to the back of the line

It’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do

Die before I do, die before I do

You could die too cuz I’m not here for you

Makin’ my deals, Saudis callin’ all night

Telling me things were hostile

They took advantage of me

But now there’s peace on the Nile

It’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do

Die before I do, die before I do

You could die too cuz I’m not here for you

Tyvanka and I, we walk through the door

Like a queen with her king

And when she says, oh, daddy

We can do anything

It’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do

Die before I do, die before I do

You could die too cuz I’m not here for you

Oh, it’s my stockpile, and you’ll die before I do

Die before I do, die before I do

You could die too cuz I’m not here for you

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1166 & 1170

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-wb9zm-d83936

As the Coronavirus ravages the land, some Dino Nation governors are standing up for … what?! This week’s double-shot of T-Rump delirium-to-dance-to features: Day 1166 — “Get Back” and Day 1170 — “Gimme Shelter” … A hearty wag of the dino tail of course to the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. Enjoy!

Categories
Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

Gimme Shelter …

“Come on in. Step lively, dinos,”

The three dino governors trampled in before the Tyrumposaurus, long tails not so much wagging as ready to lodge between their legs in an instant. 

There was the Neverglades’ Rondesantis, the Briankemp from Sweet Georgia Down and the Gregabbott of Tinstar Texas.

The T-Rump eyed them with that measured gaze his aides immediately recognized as meaning he wished he was anywhere but here.  

“So I called you in here to sort some things out.”

He paused. The three visitors fidgeted in the uncomfortable silence.

“And those things would be …” ventured the Neverglades governor.

The T-Rump rose from his squat and headed for the exit.

“I’m leaving it to the Dino Nation’s leaders. You figure it out, Desenseless.”

“That’s Desantis.”

And the T-Rump was gone.

“I hate it when he does that,” said the Gregabbott.

“Yeah,” said the Briankemp. “Now we have to think for ourselves.”

The three dinos puzzled for several minutes. 

“Wait,” said the Rondesantis. “His demeanour. That’s it.”

“What’s it?” said the Gregabbott.

“This Stay in the Cave thing. The last time he said it, his demeanour ever so slightly changed. I remember thinking maybe it was something he ate, but no, that had to be it.”

“Are you sure?”

The Rondesantis shrugged.

“Not really. So I’ll put a Stay in the Cave order in place. Then I’ll immediately put a second order in place telling my dino officials that my guidelines supersede anything they have in place. They may think I’m restricting them but I’ll tell them I’m really not. Confuse the hell out of’em.

“Sounds pretty complicated,” said the Briankemp. “I’m just gonna keep it simple. Nothin’ super here. I’ll tell’em I didn’t know that dinos who weren’t sick could be spreadin’ the illness. And that I only found out about this in the last day or so.” 

The Gregabbott could only shake his head in wonder.

“Wow. Asymptomatic has only been the word of the day for 30 straight days.”

“ Ay … sim … toe … I give up. What’s it mean?”

“It means I’m going to wait a day before announcing anything because your two, ahem … excuses will just obscure mine. And I’m not going to call it a Stay in the Cave order. I’ll just say you can go out if you’re on an essential or important activity. After all, I may have 41 dead dinos, but there’s still a helluva lotta regions in Tinstar Texas without one case. Not a one.”

“Okay then,” said the Rondesantis. “Do I have a second that this was a productive meeting?”

“You can take all the time you want,” said the Briankemp.

“Uh, in closing, as is our usual custom then, at the end of our meetings …”

The Briankemp bounced up and down.

“Our song! We’re gonna sing our song.”

The Gregabbott nodded, the RondeSantis smiled, the winds whistled, stones rolled and their tails tapped out their own harsh beat of reality.

 

Ooh, T-Rump is threat’ning

Like he does everyday

And if I say take shelter

Oh yeah, he’s gonna make me pay

 

More millions, I almost got away 

I almost got away

More millions, I almost got away

I almost got away

 

Ooh, see the choir is weepin’

Our virus church today

Burns like a dragon’s gargle

For those we hold sway

 

More killin’, who am I to say

Who am I to say

More killin’, who am I to say

Who am I to say

 

I’m a sheep herder!

I just forgot the way

I just forgot the way

I’m a sheep herder!

I just forgot the day

I just forgot the day

I’m a sheep herder!

I just forgot to say

I just forgot to say

 

Ayup, T-Rump is threat’ning

Like he does everyday

Gimme, gimme shelter

Or he’s gonna make me pay

 

More millions, I almost got away

I almost got away

I almost got away

I almost got away

I almost got away

 

Push comes to shove, mister, It’s just a diss away

It’s just a diss away

It’s just a diss away

It’s just a diss away

It’s just a diss away

Diss away, diss away

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!