It was a tale of two committees. One of Trumpassic trauma, that being the T-Rump’s rally in Dairyland where Covid’s skyrocketing infection rates were only topped by the T-Rump’s vanity. If a dino didn’t know better, their leader was intent on putting their species on the fast track to extinction. In the other camp, the Joebiden was holding a walk-in rally for Donkeykongrus faithful in the Sweet Carolinas. All dinosaurs in attendance were impeccably social distanced with at least one Iguanasaurus tail between them. There were only 16 days remaining before the big November battle. 27 million dinos had already weighed in with their precious pick for the next dino at the top of the flesh-eating food chain.
The Joebiden fairly bounced onto the stage, his spry knees belying his 77 years. He’d spent decades helping dinos of all stripes in present day Scranton-Wilkes-Barre — in dino times known affectionately as Scrotum-Wispy-Hair.
“Hello, everybody. How are you all doing?”
A roar from the colossal reptilian crowd.
“I want you to know we’re working hard. We’re competing like we never did before because there’s so much riding on this, so very much on the line. The very soul of Dino Nation is at stake. As my dino coach used to say at Delidinoware U., it’s go-time. Go, go, go. Then go some more. Don’t vote twice though. Just go. Go, go, go. You get the idea.”
“But what it gets down to is this. I can’t state this any simpler. Four years with this monster at the helm of our darkest nightmares was bad enough. Four more years of this tyrannical Tyrumposaurus will destroy our dino democracy. His lack of a response to the Coronavirus is the biggest failure of a dino administration that can’t even put one big foot in front of the other. They don’t even try. They’re in quicksand up to their necks and they’re saying it’s my fault. I’m not the leader of Dino Nation. Yet.”
“And in the middle of this catastrophic pandemic what do they do? What takes precedence over the Coronavirus relief we need in these desperate times? Surely they must have some Plan B or a Plan C they’re ready to replace their Plan A with — you know, the one that never saw the light of day? Nope. Sorry. Come back another day. All that pales beside a Dino Supreme Court hearing where they are the ones packing a court before our very eyes. Right. A decision most of you want after the election. But don’t get me started on that.”
“As the Chuckschumer said, we’re keeping every option on the flat rock table. And every day those options are coming closer into focus. The record number of early votes cast thus far are looking very encouraging. But we can’t stop now. Keep ‘em coming. Every last one because a landslide vote is the best response to a dino trying to dictate his way to the gloom and doom no self-respecting dino wants. Here’s the deal. A good friend of mine, the Rogerdaltry, has dropped by to sing a song for us as we face the most important election of our lives. So forget the Park-Ave Path. Remember Scrotum-Wispy-Hair!”
Our Joebiden can’t be beat
Though T-Rump will try to cheat
Then his quarrels and his tight grip will be gone
And the folks who spurred him on
They all sat four years too long
A free ride where not one said he’s wrong
So let’s get back all our old institutions
Most laid low by T-Rump’s convolutions
Smile and grin, we’re Biden-Harris bound
Pick up T-Rump, don’t delay
Throw the key away
Because no matter what he’ll say
We won’t get fooled again
His best and brightest, a new swamp tide
When Covid’s done, who’s gonna be alive?
See suburban women and you hear them cry
Oh, we know Q-Anon is our blackest eye
Yeah!
We’re tired of his tweets
Never did have papa’s knee
So he rallies with his base, lie by lie
And the party on the left
Will be the party for what’s right
Until conservatives agree to oversight
So let’s get back all our old institutions
Most laid low by T-Rump’s convolutions
Smile and grin, we’re Biden-Harris bound
Pick up T-Rump, don’t delay
Throw the key away
He no longer has a say
Yeah!
Meet the new boss
We will bear his cross
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 