The Chriswallace sighed deeply. What had he done to deserve this? Here he was, moderating the first Tyrumposaurus-Joebiden debate, a political landmark event 70 million dinos had showed up for. Wallace had hoped to pin this debate as the hallmark of his career, but all he could channel at this point were the 70 million salivating dinos behind him thinking the same thought.
Don’t just sit there, do something!
The T-Rump had belittled, besmirched and basically interrupted the Joebiden every time the poor dino had opened his mouth.
The Chriswallace had tried. Oh, Lordy, how he’d tried to control the uncontrollable. He’d interjected nicely at first, then raised his voice to match their level before finally lowering himself, as an abused victim might, cajoling the T-Rump that perhaps he would actually enjoy the next question. If only to stop the ranting and raving. This was after all the leader of the free-running dino world. And he now had to ask this important question again because the free-running dino world depended on it.
“Will you denounce the white-striped supremacy dinos?”
“What do you want me to call them?”
“Please pay attention. I just told you.”
“The Not-So-Proud Boy dinos,” prompted the Joebiden.
“I’m not talking to you,” snapped the T-Rump. “I think I’ll just debate Chris now. You’re not from a blue region, are you, Chris? Because all blue region dinos are nasty dinos. Very nasty.”
“Oh, no you don’t. We’re waiting for your response, T-Rump. And no vague recollections or banal, dust in the wind generalities. We must have specifics. I would like a direct, full-throated repudiation so that this dino democracy may actually outlive you.”
“It’s all the left’s fault. Those Antifasauarae, you’d better watch out, Joe. They’ll overthrow you.”
“Will you shut up, man?”
That finally shut up the T-Rump for a few seconds. The Chriswallace took another stab.
“We’re waiting, T-Rump.”
The dino divider-in-chief harrumphed and frowned.
“Alright then. But I’m going to sing my response.”
The Joebiden smirked.
“I’ve heard of dog whistles but this is ridiculous.”
The Chriswallace would take small victories where he could, no matter how sublime.
And so somewhere in the wasteland that was Covid a dino began snapping his fingers to an old familiar beat.
When the night … has come
And I raise my thumb
And then soon with my tweet you’ll see why
So the votes, when they’re made
Oh, when I feel betrayed
So be strong and stand back
And stand by
Get startin’ marchin’
Stand back for now, oh, stand by and spy
Oh, stand back, just stand back
And stand by
And that’s why this election is
A good rumble this fall
And the Biden should stumble, he ain’t spry
You won’t die, you won’t die
Like Covid, have no fear
Just as long as you stand back
And stand by
Get startin’ marchin’
Stand back for now, oh, stand by and spy
Oh, stand back, just stand back
And stand by
Startin’ marchin’
Stand back for now, oh, stand by and spy
Oh, stand back, I’m your guy
And stand by
So, until there is trouble, just stand back for now
Oh, stand by, that’s how
Won’t you stand back?
Stand back and stand by
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 