“I’m going to talk now about the Crookadillary,” droned on the Mincepencenow.
“Mr. Vice President,” said the Susanpage, moderator of the Vice Presidential Dino Debate. “You are over your two minutes.”
“Hold that thought, I think it’s time to give our great T-Rump another plug on his great leadership in guiding us through this pandemic.”
“We are not through it,” said the Kamalaharris. “There are seven-point-five million dinos who have caught the disease and 210 thousand have died. This is the greatest failure of any dino administration in the history of the Milkanhoney Preservation.”
“No, it’s not. The T-Rump stopped every last Asiasaurae dino from coming over.”
The Kamalaharris gave him a stern look.
“Mr. Vice President, I’m speaking.”
“Joebiden xenophobic.”
“Mr. Vice President, you’re not making good choices.”
“Marshalling of millions of resources.”
“Mr. Vice President, mother said stop.”
“Huh?”
The Mincepencenow finally knocked off his game, the moderator jumped in.
“Sin Hut Dino Harris, since you and the Joebiden are hopelessly ahead in the polls and are essentially playing a don’t-do-any-damage game here, I will direct the next series of questions to the Mincepencenow to give him an opportunity to gain some points — any points — with Dino Nation.”
The Kamalaharris raised a short arm to object, but the Mincepencenow cut her off.
“Yes, let’s get into the specifics that our dear dinos at home want to hear.”
“Mr. Vice President, what can you tell us about the T-Rump’s health? There has been a glaring lack of transparency on this note.”
“Yes, well, the Obamarus did a terrible, terrible job on the swine flu.”
“We’re not talking about the swine flu.”
“But the Obamarus is indeed a swine. A spying swine.”
“Moving on, Mr. Vice President, on the topic of the Grandoldparty dinos trying to jam through the Amyconeybarrett nomination as the next Dino Supreme Court Justice …”
“Soleimani. Soleimani, Soleimani, Soleimani.”
“What?”
“The T-Rump killed him. Long live the T-Rump.”
“Last chance, Mr. Vice President. Dinos with pre-existing conditions …”
“Thank you for that great question.”
“But I haven’t even asked it yet.”
He turned to the Kamalaharris.
“I have a better question for you. You’re going to stack the Dino Supreme Court if you win, aren’t you?”
A fly landed on the Vice President’s head.
“Go ahead, say yes or I will for you.”
She cocked an eye.
“There’s a fly on your head.”
“No, there’s not.”
“I’m afraid she’s right,” the moderator chimed in. He snorted in disgust.
“And here we see, once again, the Mediacircustops left backing up another socialist claim.”
The Kamalaharris pointed at him.
“He’s laying an egg.”
“I am not. Stop playing politics with people’s lives.”
“That’s rich. Red regions, blue regions, anyone?”
“You’re not entitled to your own facts.”
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to step in here,” said the Susanpage. “Mr. Vice President, your boss has told 20,000 documented lies. How can you possibly squat there and say such a thing?”
“Because … because …”
And he launched into song.
Oh-oh, yes, I’m the debate pretender
Pretending that T-Rump’s doing well
My need is such that I’ll say this much
I think we’re all going to hell
Oh-oh, yes, I’m the debate pretender
A stiff for the goof on his throne
I’ll play his game but to my real shame
He’d ditch me to grift on his own
To kneel before him and to hear his spiel
To kneel’s the deal and now hear me squeal
Yes, I’m the debate pretender
Just lining up beside this clown
It seems we all have been caught, pity
My nose is still the darkest brown
Pretending that we won’t go down
To kneel before him and to hear his spiel
To kneel’s the deal and now hear me squeal!
Yes, I’m the debate pretender
Just lining up beside this clown
It seems we all have been caught, pity
My nose is still the darkest brown
Pretending that we won’t go down
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 