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Satire The Trump Dig

The T-Rump Dump …

More news for my unique sedimentary layer classification process known as the T-Rump Tower Profile. I struck pay dirt at the lowest level of dirt. …

More news for my unique sedimentary layer classification process known as the T-Rump Tower Profile. I struck pay dirt at the lowest level of dirt. I’m calling it the T-Rump Dump. These are the skeletons of dinosaurs that simply got in the T-Rump’s way. For several it was a fall from grace, when they were fully grazing on the Steppes of Liberteez Shield —the site of present-day Puhl-DePlugg. These dinosaurs were chewed up and spit out. The jaws of the T-Rump were merciless. Each of the specimens I discovered had mostly crushed vertebrae. It’s clear the Tyrumposaurus backed up and walked over them again.

Thus far, I emphasize thus far, the T-Rump Dump dinosaurs include …

The Flynnalexus — a bipedaling herbivore with a small head and a long neck. His name is derived from the Latin word for “pickle.”

The Sallyatesaur — a small sauropod with a short neck and stubby limbs who got in the way of the T-Rump’s migratory patterns and paid dearly for it.

The Comeyonus — a carnivorous theropod with an elegant, refined jaw. This turkey-sized prey looked to be easy pickings for the T-Rump, but must have caused massive indigestion.

And finally the Spicerator, a Mediacircustops-chasing malcontentian dinosaur. He had a very rough outer surface that rubbed the T-Rump the wrong way. They were never on the same page.

Waiting for the next dinosaur bone to drop. That’s the kind of watering hole Puhl-DePlugg was during the height — or depth — of the Trumpassic Period.

By David Belisle

I'm a novelist and screenwriter in search of the Great Guffaw. It's kind of like getting hit with a bucket of Gatorade. It's a good time that sticks with you.

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