Satire The Trump Dig

Sessionsopus & Muellersavus!

Sometimes the bones whisper. Sometimes they scream. Today was a screaming day at Puhl-DePlugg. …

Sometimes the bones whisper. Sometimes they scream. Today was a screaming day at Puhl-DePlugg. These weren’t shouts of jubilation at the discovery of yet two more dinosaurs. This brings the total to a staggering 35. The fossilized commotion instead had the T-Rump appearing to snipe back at the two new dinos: the Sessionsopus and the Muellersavus.

The Sessionopus was a maximus-justis sauropod with a relatively complete skull. The Muellersavus meanwhile, was a titano-investigatis ankylosaurid whose bones offer a pristine view into the intricate strata of the Kremlinville Close-Mouthed Plot — the latest sedimentary layer in my T-Rump Tower classification. Its dark depth is massive.

It appears, in paleo-political parlance, that the Sessionsopus had, as a matter of course, recused himself outside of the T-Rump’s reach. This obviously left the T-Rump seething and taking aim next at the Muellersavus. There’s a curious red line in the sand between them. This may have something to do with their mytaxes returnis. This is the thick layer of green skin that dinosaurs shed each spring. It’s a painful process that all dinosaurs must undergo. Except for the T-Rump.

Walnut-sized brains aside, I can’t explain why the dinosaurs close to the T-Rump are okay with this. It can only mark the first contagious psychological disease of the Trumpassic Period. Following extensive rock-turning analysis, I have dubbed it the Lost Our Logic Syndrome or LOL.

By David Belisle

I'm a novelist and screenwriter in search of the Great Guffaw. It's kind of like getting hit with a bucket of Gatorade. It's a good time that sticks with you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s