If I could read dinosaurs minds, what a tale they’d tell. Maybe it’s because I fell asleep last night listening to Gordon Lightfoot’s If You Could Read My Mind. At any rate, today I found tell-tale bones from fossils T-Rump, Sessionsopus, Crookadillary, Comeyonius, Putinodon and Muellersavus landing in my lap. I quickly pieced together the story.
The Sessionsopus had been a trail blazer for the T-Rump, parting the weeds across the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir. The T-Rump took him under his tail and they happily coexisted — until the day they came across the Crookadillary at a pond behind a little rock in the Arkansas Whitewater Development. These bones speak to me. Here’s what they say:
“Ohmigod,” said the T-Rump. “The Crookadillary! On my pond. Can you believe it? Prove your loyalty. Attack!”
“But look at her, she’s beaten already. What’s the point?”
“And you call yourself a saurapod? You’re just another quadrupedal herbivore. A herbivore with no teeth. Face it. You’re beleaguered! BE-LEE-GRRED!”
“I have friends on the Hill. Right over there.”
The T-Rump rolled his eyes. The Sessionsopus pushed on.
“I did help you beat the Comeyonius.”
“You’re my assistant gofer. My A.G. What have you done for me lately? Remember the Putinodon? One look and you hid in the bushes. You HID. Out of sight.”
“Excuse me, I excused myself.”
“What kind of dinosaur excuses himself? Why are you even with me?”
“I play nice with the other Donkeycongrus.”
“That’s a weak answer. VERY weak!”
“You can bully me all you want. I’m not going anywhere. I owe it to the Continental Divide.”
“Isn’t that sweet?” said the T-Rump. “You sound just like the Muellersavus.”
The Crookadillary straightened and lumbered away from the pond.
“Look what she did!” the T-Rump bellowed. “She destroyed my pond!”
“It’s leaking.”
“And you just stand there. I’m disappointed. I wanted you to be tougher on leaks. They’re leaking like rarely have they ever leaked before.”
The T-Rump watched the departing Crookadillary.
“That’s it. Run! A pox on you of 30,000 snails!”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Snail fossils are so very small.
David Belisle 