Humor Political Satire Satire The T-Rump Dig

Impeach Me …


The other dinosaur foot had finally dropped. The Donkeykongrus had had enough of the T-Rump’s shenanigans. After two-and-a-half years of what dino historians would later call a missing link better left missing, the Nancypelosi had announced the beginning of an impeachment inquiry against him.

They were onto something, as a day later, the Whistleblower dino’s complaint outlined how a dozen Oval Dwelling dinos had been privy to the shocking conversation the T-Rump had with the Zelensky of the Ukraine Plain. The T-Rump had pressured the Zelensky for incriminating information — any information — on the Joebiden, the T-Rump’s prime foe in the upcoming battle campaign. It was the most massive cover-up since the Great Ignoramus Outbreak of ‘29.

The T-Rump’s hired help feared the worst. With the latest controversy, they expected a quick uptick in the T-Rump’s normal diatribe of yelling, kicking and screaming. It was eerily silent however around the Oval Dwelling. The T-Rump was nowhere to be found. Some dino staffers worried that he might hurt himself. Some didn’t. At any rate, they set out en masse to find their leader. They looked far and wide. It was unlike for him to stray too far during executive time.

They finally found him in the exclusive mating grounds of the EngleberthumperdinckThe T-Rump grinned when he saw his sweaty sycophants. He approached them and they could tell immediately by his devil-may-care demeanour that he had changed yet again. A new day. A new T-Rump. There was a gleam in his eye. Was it a new conspiracy theory? A new rabbit hole he wanted them to blindly dive into? Or was this merely his latest look of crazed indifference?

They needn’t wait long. The T-Rump’s latest game plan soon carried long and loud over the heads of the dino faithful, over hill and dale of the Milkanhoney Preservation. It rose above the whistling wind … a new solution … a new song of hope …


Please impeach me, let me go

For I don’t love your whistle blower

My base believes we’re gonna win

Impeach me and let me love Ukraine

I have found a new chump, dear

And I have Rudy and Barr near

Their lips tell lies while yours say no

Impeach me, so I may quid pro quo

(Please impeach me, let me go)

For I don’t love your whistle blower

(My base believes we’re gonna win)

So, impeach me and let me love Ukraine

Please impeach me, for bribery

You’d soon get the Lewandowski

This cover-up was not in vain

Impeach me and let me love Ukraine

(It’s Biden, don’t you know)