The dino governor, the Andrewcuomo, sized up his special audience in the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir.
“So I’m asking you, Moscowmitch, if you could see it in your, um … one of your incredibly rare instances of good judgement, to convince the Sin Hut dinos here to help out the dinos in the Big Apple Orchard in our desperate time of need, I might even say something nice about you.”
“On the contrary, Gov’nor, I’m not in the mood to begin bailing out the blue dinos. You’d think this was a national calamity. It isn’t. Why, pretty soon, we’ll be going back to our daily lives with or without you. Hopefully without. But here’s an idea. Why don’t you just tell everyone you ran out of moolah-moolah leaves and are just plain broke?”
“Broke, are you kidding me? I think that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. And you’re one dumb dino.”
“Now, now. Here me out, Gov’nor. You see this Coronavirus here seems to be attacking you big rock dinos, not the plain, simple dino folk out in the sticks and stones, like me. What I’m trying to say is you Donkeykongrus dinos need to get your nests in order.”
“I find that comment really offensive. Such pettiness. It’s repugnant. And then there’s your logic. I ask you, how do we get moolah-moolah if we’re broke?”
“How should I know? Why don’t you ask that nice dino mayor from Vague-as-Vegas. I’m sure she could help you.”
“You know, Moscowmitch. I’m going to haunt you til the day you die because like the dinos back home, we are Big Apple Orchard tough. And smart. We’re Big Apple Orchard disciplined … and unified, dammit. And loving. Did I say loving? So very loving. I wish I could show you some tough love right now. Because you, Moscowmitch, you’re the exact opposite.”
“Well, thank you for the compliments. Need I remind, everyone, I’m not here to win friends and influence dinos. I’m just here to win.”
The Andrewcuomo knew when he was banging his head against a wall. He rose from his squat and exited the cave.
A smiling Moscowmitch turned to his 52 Grandoldparty Sin Hut followers.
“That felt good. Nothing beats stepping on a Donkeykongrus throat when they’re down and out. Makes me feel like that Rocky dinosaur. But I need a song.”
Say no more. The Sin Hut dinos couldn’t agree on how to best keep Dino Nation from dying but if Moscowmitch needed a song, they’d get right on it. Within hours, dino tails across the land were tapping along with it.
All your times have come
Here now under my thumb
The House should fear the Reaper
Under the moon and the sun I reign … Don’t you be like they are
Never agree … They fear the Reaper
You just take my plan … They fear the Reaper
We’ll be able to lie … They fear the Reaper
Let’s just kick the can
La la la la la
La la la la la
Coronavirus fun
If you’re blue, you’re done
Show me dough and then we’re set
Together in prosperity … Show me dough and then we’re set
2,000 deaths and more everyday … Show me dough and then we’re set
2,000 deaths and more everyday … Redefine happiness
Another 2,000 dying everyday … Don’t you be like they are
Never agree … They fear the Reaper
You just take my plan … They fear the Reaper
We’ll be able to lie … They fear the Reaper
Let’s just kick the can
La la la la la
La la la la la
I control everyone
I’m in this for the long run
Came my fake day of sadness
Like when Merrick Garland couldn’t get on
So this virus came and then Cuomo appeared
He asked for help and then I sneered
No, no, Cuomo, go to Kokomo … Go to Kokomo
No, no, Cuomo … Go to Kokomo
And he ran away … Then they started to die
I’m the Grim Reaper, don’t ask why … Don’t become like they are
The perfect partisan .. Don’t become like they are
Never agree … They fear the reaper
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 