Rip It Up …

The crowd of dinosaurs gazed at the darkening sky overhead. There was a fabulous thunderhead cloud out of which flew an equally fabulous thunderbird. It was going to be one of those days. Such was the weather for the state of the dino union address from the leader of the free-running dino world, the Tyrumposaurus, freshly acquitted from his impeachment trial.

He stepped up to the Flat Rock Lectern, pausing first before the Nancypelosi who squatted one level higher behind the lectern. He handed her a paper-like sheet. It was the latest dino invention, happening quite accidentally when a dino had inadvertently stomped upon the pithy stem of a water plant. Voila, papyrus. Coupled with an ink-like substance from the darker end of the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir and the Dino Nation now had the words of the T-Rump to cry themselves to sleep with at night. Footprints in the sand had been much less grating.

The T-Rump handed his speech to the Nancypelosi. She extended her hand to shake his. He ignored it.

“Hang onto this,” he said. Better than anything you’ve ever come up with.” 

“Won’t you be needing it? It’s the only copy.”

“Hell, no. I’m just going to ramble on as I normally do. Straight from the gut.”

He turned to his captive audience of stumble-bums and sycophants.

“Vindicated! That’s me. You can’t convict what the Williambarr can protect. Just like the Muellersavus investigation. Total exoneration. I’m a free dino and watch me roar. We’ll see what the Hunterbiden was up to, just you wait. But first I have to throw the Mittromney under the Priebusunderbus. How dare he vote against me. What’s my world coming to?”

And so it went for the next 90 minutes. A vitriolic spew chastising every dino who had crossed his path in the past two weeks. There was a promise to look after sick dinos, something he’d neglected to do for three years. As he neared the end of his speech, he found religion. Not that it found him.

“And in closing I just want to say God bless me and the ground I walk on. Oh, I almost forgot. Any dino who prays for me is against me. That’s right. They’re fakes. Because I know what they’re praying about. Only I can answer their prayers. Because they don’t now what they’re praying for if they’re not praying for me. You got that, all you prayers out there?”

An ensemble nod from his dino cult. The Nancypelosi rose from her squat, holding the T-Rump’s speech. The Adamschiff raised a hand.

“Excuse me, T-Rump?”


“Before you leave I wanted to say something.”

“To me?”

“No, to the dino behind you, the Nancypelosi?”

“Before I leave, huh? I heard what you said about me in the Sin Hut trial. You were trying to sound important. I don’t need that around here. I will let you speak because everyone here knows this day is all about me and nothing you can say will change that, you shifty-shift-shift Schiff.”

“Thank you.” 

The Adamschiff focused on the Nancypelosi. He smiled at her then looked overhead at the fabulous thunderbird reappearing out of the equally fabulous thunderhead. Thunder rang out and the Adamschiff sang.


I’ve been watching you for months, my lady

Thank you for his impeachment, my lady

T-Rump may think he’s outta reach, my lady

Just wrap your hands around his speech, my lady


Rip it up, I hate it

Rip it up, I hate it


He’s tryin’ to divide this town, my lady

You know he likes to double down, my lady

He talks about charity, my lady

Still nothin’ for you an’ me, my lady


Rip it up, we hate it

Rip it up, we hate it

Rip it up, we hate it

Rip it up, we hate it


Well, we gotta treat him like the clown he is

Cuz he thinks that everything is his

You’ve got tricks you ain’t never used

Give it, give it to him, he’s still the accused


We’ll get through this together, my lady

Impeachment is forever, my lady

T-Rump may think he’s outta reach, my lady

Just wrap your hands around his speech, my lady


Rip it up, I hate it

Rip it up, I hate it

Rip it up, I hate it

Rip it up, I hate it


Rip, rip

Rip, rip, rip

Rip it up, we hate it


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

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