T-Rumper …

The Grandoldparty Sin Hut dinos looked at one another in the Sin Hut Caper-Cave, a private setting off from the main chamber where they could grin their greasy grins at one another and count their lucky twinkling things in the sky that they had actually pulled it off. A “No” vote of 51-49 had barely carried the day to not allow dino witnesses or any evidence into the Sin Hit’s impeachment trial of their esteemed leader, the Tyrumposaurus. The Marcorubio raised a hand.

“What we accomplished today we can be very proud of. I managed to say with a straight face that even though they had the goods on the T-Rump and they met the level of impeachment, it just isn’t in the best interest of removing the T-Rump because we already have a divided Dino Nation, a division largely caused by the T-Rump himself.”

The other dinos in the cave looked at him blankly, unsure if every time he opened his mouth he wasn’t actually making things worse.

“Ahem,” said the Joniernst. “I don’t want to put too fine a point on it because every time I veer from the T-Rump calling his conversation with the Zelensky the ‘perfect call’ I run the risk of him ripping me to shreds. So I’ll just say that maybe what he did was wrong. Oops, too strong a word. Improper. Let’s go with improper — for him to be seeking dirt from a foreign dino for his own personal gain. And his penalty? Perhaps just a slap on the wrist. A little slap.”

She made like she was brushing a fly off her arm for emphasis. Not a big fly. A little one.

“You got that right, Joni,” said the Lamaralexander. “Improper. I like that. Not too brazen. An after thought almost. Like burping at the side of a carcass. There is no way it rises to the level of high crimes and misdemeanors. Who even knows what those are, anyway?”

Shrugs all around.

“Because we know the T-Rump would never do those things. Therefore, in the interest of all of us keeping our jobs in the Sin Hut, we must agree to never dig further, okay?”

Nods from every dino. The Lisamurkowski raised her hand.

“Um … I just want to point out that I’m all set to go out there and defend my decision to not have witnesses and evidence because this whole process set up by the Kongrus Kave was a disaster from the start. There was never a chance that we were going to have a fair trial in the Sin Hut. It was their fault. Only theirs. Is everyone okay with that?”

The other dinos puzzled.

“Well,” said the Lamaralexander, “we are the Sin Hut. That makes us superior. We don’t have to explain our actions to the lowly Kongrus Kave. Blame everything on them. Partisanship is all their fault.”

With that the Sin Hut dinos adjourned their tail wagging and exited the cave, right into the path of the Tyrumposaurus.

“Well, well, what are you doing for me now? What do you have to say that will be music to my ears? Anything. Hurry up. I need praise, glorification and gratification. Instant, you know. Be quick about it.” 

Fortunately they were. A Sin Hut dino always had to be ready for whatever bizarre mood the T-Rump thrust upon them. The Marcorubio held up his hand. The others watched as his tail twitched, then began slapping the ground, counting them all into an old Beatlemaniac’s number, a number they knew by heart.


Got a good reason for taking the easy way out

On his impeachment, I’m taking the easy way out now

I am a T-Rumper, a phony crony yeah

And it was so wrong to bow out, and I bowed out


I’m not uneasy, he told me to never care

I’m a bit sleazy, he told me to touch his hair now

I am a T-Rumper, a corrupt cohort yeah

And it was so wrong to sell out, and I sold out


Tried to please him, he only called me bad names

Lied to please him, he only picked me to blame now

I am a T-Rumper, a stumbling crumb-bum yeah

It took me so long to get in, and now I’m out



T-Rumper, yeah


T-Rumper, yeah



You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

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