Heartbreak Doral …

The T-Rump eyes moved warily between the Mickmulvaney and the Mikepompeo. It was another week of walk-backs at the Oval Dwelling. The acting Dino Chief of Staff had spoken out of both sides of his mouth on the Ukraine Plain dilemma and the T-Rump then pulled out of hosting the Gee-7-Showed-Up at his Doral Gnats’n All multi-cave resort. There was also the continued hollowing out of the Dino Department of State under the Mikepompeo’s watch, who shook his head and sighed.

“I feel so frustrated.”

You feel frustrated?!” snapped the T-Rump.

“I tell Mick here there was no quid pro quo. Didn’t I? I distinctly said no no quid pro quo. What did I say, Mick?”

“You said no no quid pro quo.”


“But that’s a double negative, meaning there was a quid pro quo. And I mean, we do it all the time.”

“Ahem, news flash. They’re not supposed to know about it.”

“But Giuliani–”

“Rudy’s Rudy. He’s crazy like a fox. He has so many shady deals going on, you gotta hand it to him. He’s really pulling his weight. Until he pulls me in of course. Then I’ll just say he’s working for the Putinodon. Meanwhile, he’s doing just great.”

The T-Rump frowned at the Mikepompeo

“Which is more than I can say for you. What are you doing for me? Today.”

The Mikepompeo stared at him, incredulous at the T-Rump for propping up the Rudygiuliani. Who’s he talking to? How can he believe that? Face it, I know way too much. When I was with the Langleyops, I didn’t know this much. He finally spoke.

“I’m not saying anything. Ahem. To protect you.”

“Well that’s just great. You stand in front of the Mediacircustops looking like some dopey mime.”

A snicker escaped the Mickmulvaney.

The T-Rump pointed a finger at him.

“They were laughing at you too. Which means they’re laughing at me. Get out of here. Both of you. Before I get in a hollowing-out mood. It’s never too late to hollow out, y’know.”

The two dinos hung their heads in shame as they exited, tails between their legs.

The T-Rump shook his head in despair. Heavy thoughts weighed on his mind. Dammit. This was not going well. He’d been so looking forward to hosting the dino world leaders at the Doral Gnats’n All.

He waddled from foot to foot, his short arms on his hips, rocking, gyrating. He felt his inner voice rising. He couldn’t hold it in. His soul raced to the surface.


Well, since Johnkelly left me

Well, my world went all to hell 

Well, I can’t have dino leaders meet

At Heartbreak Doral

Where I’d see, I’d see more money, baby

Where I’d see money

Now there’s no money, I could cry


Oh, I promised them zero profit

I said take fifty rooms

For wealthy Gee-Seven-ers

But now you see my gloom

I’ll get no, I’ll get no money, baby

I’ll get no money

I’ll get no money, I could cry


Now, my flip-flops just keep floppin’

And the media cracks back

Well, blame it on the Donkeykongrus

And their hostile attack

And I get no, I get no money, baby

I get no money

I get no money, I could cry


Well, now, if Mulvaney leaves me

And he’s got a tale to tell

Well, this is just how cheaters cheat

At Heartbreak Doral

I wish I’d see, I wish I’d see money, baby

I need the money

I need the money, I could cry


Oh, and although there are some bedbugs

You still can find some room

I’d have your moolah-moolah before your bug bites bloom

But there is no, there is no money, baby

There’s no money

Now there’s no money, I could cry

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