The prim and proper Lauracooper squatted into her assigned spot and folded her short arms respectfully over her belly. The deputy dino assistant secretary of defense for the Moscovian Bluffs, the Ukraine Plain and Eur-asia-butwhatami waited patiently for her deposition to begin. She joined a long line of patriot dinos who had stepped forward from within the Dino Department of State to wax eloquent on the Tyrumposaurus’ alleged quid pro quo / bribery / extortion with the Zelensky of the Ukraine Plain to acquire dirt on the Joebiden.
The Marieyovanovitch, the Gordonsondland, the Georgekent and the Billtaylor had preceded the Lauracooper to tell woebegone tales that made the Donkeycongrus cringe in their disturbing nature. The Grandoldparty response? They avoided the Mediacircustops at all cost, afraid that a slip of tongue may anger the T-Rump.
But alas, the T-Rump was already angry. Desperate Day number 1009 called for Desperate Measure number 7,814. The day before he’d referred to any Grandoldparty dino that had questioned his actions, as ‘dino scum.’ It was a misnomer of sorts, as any dino who swam in the swampy, putrid Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir was already covered in scum. Scum atop scum upon scum layered with scum. There was simply no escaping it.
The Lauracooper of course had no idea what was about to happen. One moment she was squatting there waiting for her cue to begin her opening statement, her hands still respectfully clasp over her belly, when she heard it. An approaching sound. A commotion of sorts. There were shadows of dinos approaching not one, not two, but all three entrances to the secure dino chamber. The presiding chair dino, the Adamschiff, a master politico-dino prepared for anything, looked up from his post at the top rock lectern. For the past two weeks, he’d been ridiculed, harassed and practically censored by the Grandoldparty dinos. They were upset he’d paraphrased the hallowed words of the T-Rump in a somewhat mocking monologue. The Adamschiff’s eyes widened at the sight of the approaching opposition in the form of two dozen trespassing dinos. He raised his head and hollered …
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Well their party was nice, their party was somethin’
Now they think they can have it all
You hear’em say, “Start the name calling.”
And Nancy responds to the call
They need a smack on the snout
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
I see the dinos just want to stall
‘Cause they really want to skip town
Get back Mattgaetz, back Mobrooks
Get back you shameful, sinful Steveking
Gonna tell myself, “Markmeadows is angry.”
And listen to the Jimjordan whine
But they tell me, “Hey, we need to save the party!”
They don’t like the process, but what about the crime?
They be in trouble, no doubt.
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
See, the T-Rump is nothing if he don’t have a throne
The T-Rump holds his throne, the T-Rump holds it
The T-Rump is nothing if he don’t have a throne
The T-Rump holds his throne, the T-Rump holds it
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
I see the dinos just want to stall
‘Cause they really want to skip town
Get back Mattgaetz, back Mobrooks
Get back you shameful, sinful Steveking
Well, if I’m a dino, then they’re a pawn
I gotta make my move before impeachment’s gone
Do you see the truth comin’ from my eye?
Talking to his base,
The T-Rump’s breakin’ them down
Me and the dino courts
Just pick a crime, any crime will do
I’ll stick on them, what they say is bull
‘Cause it’s the law of the land
Remember, Williambarr? “Ooh!”
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
David Belisle 