“Hello, y’all out there in Dino Land,” the Mickmulvaney said, addressing a large throng of Mediacircustops, hungry for their latest fill of news gone mad in the wake of the Tyrumposaurus impeachment inquiry. The foundation of the Oval Dwelling showed new cracks on the hour. And those weren’t just from the T-Rump whacking his tail against the wall in frustration.
“How about that Nancypelosi meltdown the other day? Did you see that? The T-Rump calls her a third-grade politician and she storms out of the Oval Dwelling. What’s up with that? She can’t even take a joke. Pretty thin-skinned if you ask me. He’s called me much worse and I’m still here.”
“But I have great news to report. The Mincepencenow and the Mikepompeo have indeed sealed the deal with the Erdogan. The Kurdishian dinos have to leave their caves in the next five days. We gave the Erdogan everything he wanted. The Putinodon was one happy dino too. That was just gravy of course. Problem solved. The T-Rump saved the day. Again. Can you stand it?”
There was audible groaning from the Mediacircustops.
“In other news,” the Mickmulvaney continued, “the Rickperry just resigned. That’s a week since the Mikepompeo’s number two dino resigned. A whole week. That’s a long time in this dino-eat-dino world, right? I wouldn’t read anything into it though. I’m sure they both left these plum positions so they could spend a couple more hours each day with their families munching mulberry bushes.”
“And don’t think the Oval Dwelling is worried about all these depositions the Department of Dino State dinos are giving. Nope. Not for a minute. The Marieyovanovitch, the Fionahill, the Michaelmckinley, the Gordonsondland … c’mon dinos, it’s just shop talk. There’s no there there. This impeachment inquiry is the real joke.”
The Jimacosta spoke up.
“Was there a quid pro quo between the T-Rump and the Zelensky?”
The Mickmulvaney stared him down.
“Quid pro quo? Of course there was.”
The collective jaws of the Mediacircustops hit the ground with a resounding thud. The Mickmulvaney slowly took in the befuddling scene before him. Had he said the wrong thing? At least he didn’t think so. Better to soldier on and of course, when in doubt … sing …
I turn around today and what do I see
A whole lotta dinos cryin’ “he’s guilty!”
They point their crooked little fingers at our mighty T-Rump
Spend all their time findin’ ways to make us jump
I just said this, I just said that
You’re not gonna win cuz we’re standin’ pat
Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin’ and cryin’ and pitchin’ a fit
Get over it, get over it
You say that our best dinos, they’re little more than trash
But you might just agree we change’em in a flash
The more I think about it, Moscowmitch was right
Let’s all drag our heels, the end’s in sight
You think I’m a jerk, you want to have a new king
But the fix is in, we’re gonna beat this thing
Get over it
Get over it
Have you ever seen a family that is so close-knit?
Get over it, get over it
It’s like the worst corruption every time I hear you speak
We’re breakin’ the law, what a winnin’ streak
Some call it sick, we just turn our cheek
You drag your tails all around in vain
You follow every lane; you follow to Ukraine
You gave it all your best and still you wear a frown
We do it in the open, there’s no hidin’ in this town
The three amigos have committed no crime
I’d like to remind you that we do it all the time
Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin’ and cryin’ and pitchin’ a fit
Get over it, get over it
Get over it
Get over it
Poor Rudy’s goin’ broke, so why don’t you quit?
Get over it, get over it
David Belisle 