Humor Political Satire

The T-Rump Dig Podcast … Days 1278 & 1282

This week’s double-shot of T-Rump Traxx include: Day 1278 — “Let’s Go!” … The T-Rump squats down with the Chriswallace … and Day 1282 — “Free Bird” … The Solitary Sinkhole is about to lose a famous resident. … Hearty dino tail wags to the Cars and Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Humor Satire The T-Rump Dig

Free Bird …

“But your honor, you simply have to keep the Michaelcohen in the Solitary Sinkhole. It is absolutely necessary. Paramount, I say.”

The dino judge, the Alvinhellerstein, looked down his long snout at the dino probation officer before him, the Adampakula

“And why is that?”

“Because he will say bad things about the T-Rump. Bad, nasty, horrible things.”

“Isn’t that just a typical tweet on a typical day for the typical T-Rump?”

“I fail to see your point, your honor. The T-Rump can say and do whatever he wants.”

“Oh no, you don’t. Don’t you dare bring that clap-trap, revisionist history into my court cave. We just had a Supreme Dino Court ruling that decided the obvious one more time — the T-Rump is not above the law.”

“Damn, I thought you’d forget. … So, um … what do I have to say to keep Mister I Paid Stormy For Nothin’ in the Solitary Sinkhole?”

“You may want to rephrase that, counsel.”

“Sure. You will keep him locked up, with minimal provisions and make him feel as miserable as possible if I can come up with one good reason?”

“Pretty much.”

“Alrighty then. Just one? Easy peasy. Did you know about his, uh … father-in-law?”


“Okay … the Michaelcohen said he’s actually going to tell everything about the T-Rump’s personality and proclivities, his private and professional affairs, and his personal and business ethics. That’s got to be like, raping and pillaging the T-Rump’s privacy, your honor. At the very least.”

“Sorry, no can do.”

“Okay, okay. You forced my hand. I have to go for the jugular now. I didn’t want to go there but you’ve left me no choice. This is terrible, disgusting and not for the faint of heart.”

“I’m waiting.”

“The Michaelcohen … he was supposed to stay home, but he went for … a picnic.”

“A picnic?

“That’s right, sir. A picnic. I know. Terrible, isn’t it?”

“This has been one terrible picnic alright. Your very presence before me has screamed retaliation the moment you arrived. In all my 21 years of serving on the Dino Court, I’ve never seen such blatant buffoonery on display. This has been a colossal waste of time. You are a bozo, a clown and a boob. I should make you pay restitution to the hard-working dinos who pay your salary. Now get out of my court cave before I disbar your buttinski butt!”

The Adampakula slunk away with his tail between his legs. The judge turned to the Michaelcohen.

“You are hereby confined to your cave for the rest of your sentence. If Pakula or any other palooka bothers you, I need to hear about it. You can get back now to that tale you have the right to tell.”


If you hear me tomorrow

You’ll know free speech is still free 

For all T-Rump’s hangers on, now

‘Cause there’s so many faces you need to see

They’d love to throw my key away

But the judge wouldn’t play their game

‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now

And my words they cannot change

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

And my words he cannot change

And I’ll discuss anything

Lord knows, he’s deranged

Why, why, shady pardon from above

Defend him and he’ll arrange

Flynn, Stone and Sheriff Joe gladly

All lied away their shame

But this is bigger than my world

We need our framers’ frame

‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now

And my words they’ll never change

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

And my words he cannot change

And I’ll discuss anything

Lord knows, he’s deranged

Lord help us, he can’t change

Lord, he can’t change

I’m your fly guy, free bird, yeah


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!