There was a tail tapping at the doorway to the Oval Dwelling. The newly installed dino Chief of Staff, the Markmeadows answered it.
“The Tedcruz?”
“Hi, Mark. I’ve got to see the T-Rump. Just for a minute, that should do it. I mean, can I see him?”
“Well, he’s kinda busy right now.”
“He is not. This is me you’re talking to. He’s on executive time the entire morning. As in … Doing. Nothing.”
“You got me there. Come on in.”
The two dinos approached the Tyrumposaurus. The Tedcruz stepped in tight and kneeled beside the squatting T-Rump, who looked up from his latest Cheezbuggabugga.
“Gee, Ted. You’re kind of in my face. You’re gonna get splashed with the flying juice.”
“Oh, that’s okay. What’s a little juice between friends?”
The T-Rump put down his Cheezbuggabugga. He looked flushed. Eyes weary.
“What do you want?”
“Well, you know how you said that this whole Coronavirus was a hoax being put on by the Donkeykongrus to damage your leadership battle campaign?”
“Yes?”
“Well, I thought I’d follow your great master plan and make a little moolah on the side.”
“Doing what?”
“Oh, just being here with you.”
“I, uh … don’t follow.”
“It’s like this. A dino who, uh … shall remain nameless, paid me a very healthy amount of moolah-moolah leaves to come stand close to you. Real close.”
The T-Rump leaned back a bit.
“Well, you are pretty close.”
“I have to be.”
“Because?”
“I was at that big dino shindig ten days ago and I probably caught the Novel Coronavirus. I remember him coughing on me three times.”
“Oh.”
“And well, there are dinos out there that, believe it or not, don’t like you and since — as you just confirmed — hey, it’s all just a hoax, well … it can be our little laugh.”
“Oh, ha-ha. Funny.” The T-Rump turned to the shocked Markmeadows whose eyes were hanging out of their sockets. “Isn’t that funny, Mark? Laugh with us.”
“I – I’m sorry, T-Rump. I hardly find this amusing. In fact, I’m sorry that my first act as your chief of staff will be to, uh … I’m afraid that I’m going to have to ask you — no, I’m going to demand that you place yourself under quarantine.”
“Mark, nobody is putting me under quarantine. I’m as healthy as a big, bad Brontosaurus.”
He coughed, then sneezed. Followed by a fart and a dribble.
“Okay, so I’m a little off today. Just because I’ve been holding big rallies with no testing. My fans have been coughing on me, I’ve been coughing on them. Now that’s democracy. This virus thing will never catch me. It’s too warm, it’s been contained and I told you there’s a miracle on the way, right? Now get the hell out of here before I start looking for chief of staff number five.”
But the Markmeadows wasn’t budging. He wanted this job badly. He’d do whatever it took to keep it. Just to get his message across. This message. Even if he had to sing …
Every day I look, the number’s on the rise
This virus is something you just can’t buy
One look … at you … you’re sick … Okay?
I say … that you … are here … to stay
Every sneeze tells me … you got it
Every doctor says … you got it
Everything is clear … you got it
Stay here!
The tests aren’t perfect, you need to understand
Numbers shouldn’t be a part of your campaign plan
They’re up … not down … no thanks … to you
So now … just sit … shut up … can you?
Every sneeze tells me … you got it
Every doctor says … you got it
Everything is clear … you got it
Stay here!
Every sneeze tells me
Every doctor says
Everything is clear
I’m mad … as hell … at whom? … at you
You went … so slow … without … a clue
Every sneeze tells me … you got it
Every doctor says … you got it
Everything is clear … you got it
Stay here!
Every sneeze tells me … you got it
Every doctor says … you got it
Everything is clear … you got it
Stay here!
Everything is clear
Stay here!
You got it
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 