Running on Empty …

“Well, well, chief justice dino,” said the Patcippollone, “we meet again.”

“According to the schedule.”

“Right, right. Heh-heh. Just killing some time. Chief justice, dino members of that other ilk, we spoke with you for just two hours on the weekend because we know you all have much more important things to do than preserving the Milkanhoney Preservation as we know it. We didn’t of course want to rain on any parades. And, oh yes, I bring further good news. Today may be just as brief. Okay, much briefer.”

He wiped his brow nervously.

“Without any further adieu, hold onto your tails because we are going to blow apart, that’s right, blow apart, the Donkeykongrus’ weak case on not one but two fronts. Burden sharing and Ukraine Plain corruption. I know, shocking, isn’t it?”

He pointed to the Donkeykongrus legal dinos.

“Look at them quaking there where they squat. Burden sharing. They flinched. Did you see that? The T-Rump was not going to help the Ukraine Plain unless other dino nations jumped in to help too. What? The T-Rump lead the way on compassion? I don’t think so. Never mind that the T-Rump didn’t give two hoots about corruption in the Ukraine Plain until two nanoseconds after the Joebiden entered the battle campaign. Uh, moving right along. Ukraine Plain corruption. Stop me if you’re heard this before.”

He paused.

“I don’t see anyone stopping me. Okay, well, uh … you see, it’s like this. You’re going to have to give us a mulligan on this one, okay? Please? We really don’t want to have to call a witness like the Joebiden to rake him over the coals because then we would have to let them call the Mickmulvaney or the Johnbolton or the Mikepompeo and no, no, no, no, no … we abso-positively cannot have that. So, you’re just going to have to take our word for it on this one. Now then, where was I?”

“Burden sharing and Ukraine Plain corruption,” said the chief justice.

“Right. Well, then. That’s, uh … that’s it.”

He looked over to the Jaysekulow, who shrugged.

“I got nothin’.”

“What do you mean you have nothing? I just started. We have 22 hours to fill.”

“Look, Pat. I reconsidered what I was going to say and realized that if I get up and say half of these things, I may never work in these swamp waters again. I need these swamp waters.”


“And Pat?”


“Let’s be real. I only had about 10 or 15 good minutes anyway. Y’know?”

“Oh, okay. Sure.”

A big thumbs up and a wink from the Jaysekulow.

“Go, get em. Lead the way, Pat. We’re counting on you, bud.”

The Patcippollone gulped. A serious case of flop sweat consumed him. Okay, okay. I got this, he thought. Never let them see you sweat except I am standing in a freaking puddle. He made a split second decision that would go down in dino impeachment history. Ho-hum, so many moments already had. The T-Rump’s lead legal dino nodded off-stage to the Jacksonbrownean dino aides assembled there. He turned back to the presiding Johnroberts.

“Okay, chief justice. More to the point, obviously a little more detail is necessary here — not that we need more evidence, just a talking point or two, but allow me to, ahem, fill more of this oh-so valuable time that’s been allotted to us for our all-important impeachment defense. Oh, what the hey, hit it, boys!” 


Lookin’ out at the crowd hushed up by appeals

Lookin’ back at the fear we caused from so many cooked-up deals

In sixty-five I wasn’t born yet, so I was, uh … minus one 

I don’t know where I’m goin’ now, I’m just runnin’ on


Runnin’ on — runnin’ on empty

Runnin’ on — runnin’ blind

Runnin’ — I’ve just begun — but have nothin’ in mind


Gotta do what I can just to keep T-Rump alive

Tryin’ not to just lose it, is it too soon to take five?

In sixty-nine I was only three and I once chewed on this bone

I don’t know when that bone turned into the bone I’m on


Runnin’ on – runnin’ on empty

Runnin’ on – runnin’ blind

Runnin’ — comin’ undone — and with nothin’ in mind 


Every law I know, every court you go

Some may need impeachment to believe

I don’t know about anything but see

If I can incite, not sound too contrite 

If I can get T-Rump’s tweet before I leave


Lookin’ out at the crowd, can’t help but hear their squeals

I don’t know to tell you but it’s a wound that never heels

I look around for Sekulow because he used to pull me through

Lookin’ into his eyes, I see him runnin’ too


Runnin’ on – runnin’ on empty

Runnin’ on – runnin’ blind

Runnin’ on, almost done, I have nothin’ in mind


Funny that T-Rump sent me

He knows they have us in a bind

I’d love to stick-it-to’em, but I’m runnin’ on blind 

You know I don’t even know what we’re hopin’ to find

Runnin’ on — and I’m done! We had nothin’ in mind



You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

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