The Elizabethwarren strutted around the stage, waving her short arms in the air.
“Don’t worry, dinos, I have a plan for everything.”
“A plan?” exclaimed the Berniesanders. “I laid down the damn footprints!”
“Footprints on everything?” asked the Buddhajudge.
“Are you saying I have big feet?”
“No, I didn’t mean …”
“Look, sonny. I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know.”
It was still three months before the opening battle — the Iowa Corn-cob-us. This battle ground region would be crucial in determining which Donkeykongrus dino who would go up against the Tyrumposaurus in the November Battle Royale. If the T-Rump was still around of course.
The dino candidates were in fine form. They’d been going at it for months, but even with the recent departure of the Betosaurus, there were still 14 dinos vying for top billing.
Nine dinos had bowed out, failing to have become a cave dwelling name or stockpile enough of what every successful dino battle campaign desperately needed. Moolah-moolah leaves. Lord knows dino staff loved their moolah-moolah.
“It looks like it’s just me and the Elizabethwarren,” the Buddhajudge said to a handy, idling Mediacircustops.
“Hey, what about me!” hollered the Joebiden.
“And me,” echoed the Berniesanders.
The Buddhajudge grinned.
“How do you like my new health care? I was just checking your hearing.”
Off to the side the Andrewyang took it all in. The studious Mathasian dino had come from nowhere and was still in the hunt. His followers were young, gung-ho and socially active.
These were no pretenders. They believed they had a stake in the game. On the surface, they were Never T-Rumpers. Deep down however, they were more than that. One of them stepped forward, bounced up and down and launched into their latest mosh pit melody, their new theme song …
I was a dino for you
Your math made me feel so bright
But so many steadfast
Who can we turn to?
Now we’re back in the fight
We’re back with a brain
Oh, back in the Yang Gang
An impeachment beyond our control
The droning T-Rump and his views of the world
Got in my head like a migraine from hell
Threw sand in our eyes and defended his lies
Put us back with a brain
Oh, back in the Yang Gang
I do like Bernie
Mayor Pete, I like him too
Beto felt the squeeze
Biden, Warren, not so new
But I’ll die as I squat here today
Knowing you’re so smarty-smart
Freedom Dividend, hey!
That just tops the chart.
I am a dino for you
These are the craziest days of my life
As Moscow Mitch slowly falls apart
And we watch the T-Rump finally depart
Now we’re back with a brain
Oh, back in the Yang Gang
…………………………………………..
You can hear the above musical version and other recent T-Rump Digs in this Saturday’s podcast at Podbean.
David Belisle 