Tell-a-Phoney Line …

The Tyrumposaurus was on the warpath. Hunting for the Moscowmitch for the third time today. There was holy hell to pay. T-Rump world was crumbling around its maker. The Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir was being pulled apart. The Ukraine Plain scandal had all the symptoms of a constipated volcano. It just wouldn’t stop raining crap. Crap that stuck. This mountain of metaphors came with bad math as well. All but seven Donkeykongrus were now against him. Impeachment was chasing him down.

A few Grandoldparty dinos had even — horror of horrors — spoken out against him. Against him! Oh, they would rue the day. It was time to call upon the Moscowmitch and read him the Rabid Raptor Act. Something about having your hide picked clean. Unfortunately, the Moscowmitch didn’t like visiting the Oval Dwelling. Plus, he was pretty good at hiding. The T-Rump secretly wondered if it was his B.O. 

On a good day, the T-Rump could wrap his walnut around two thoughts at a time. Even he realized however that the hourly barrage of fresh questions from the Mediacircustops had him lashing out more than usual. The Oval Dwelling was shunning every Subpoenasaurus in sight. A second Whistleblower dino was now ready to sing. The Rudygiuliani had been linked to two shady dinos from the Ukraine Plain, causing dinos to ask why he was still the T-Rump’s legal dino. Why not, dammit. Chaos was cool. Then the Mikepompeo’s right hand dino up and left without a wave of the tail. What was the T-Rump’s private domain, his vast fiefdom, the Milkanhoney Preservation, coming to?

He reached the Moscowmitch’s cave and stuck his head in. He squinted into the darkness, momentarily nervous about something slimy crawling up his leg. He gulped and gathered the gumption he could from his gut.

Hello, how are you?

Have you been uptight through all those phoney

Crony, phoney crony courtroom fights.

That’s what you’ll say, you’ll tell them I am king

Moscowmitch, make them moan and groan … yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey, are you kneeling?

Are you still ashamed, remember the moolah we hid

We hid was ours to steal, what a scheme!

I need to believe you’ve persuaded them

Yes, you … yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh

Doo-wop, do-be-do-do-wop

Doo-wah-doo-lang

I don’t know them

Doo-wah-doo-lang

You look into my eye (Deripaska won’t see you through)

Because if you don’t (the little things you planned ain’t comin’ true)

Oh, one helluva fine, you could do time, my alibi’s airtight

Oh, what’s mine is all mine, give me more time; term limits, say goodnight

Okay, so no one’s answering

The Whistleblower list, getting longer

Longer, longer … oh, it just ain’t right 

Your primary is bright 

But I’ll need a favor though

Doo-wop, do-be-do-do-wop

Doo-wah-doo-lang

I don’t know them

Doo-wah-doo-lang

You look into my eye (Deripaska won’t see you through)

Because if you don’t (the little things you planned ain’t comin’ true)

Oh, one helluva fine, you could do time, my alibi’s airtight

Oh, what’s mine is all mine, give me more time; term limits, say goodnight

Oh, one helluva fine, you could do time, my alibi’s airtight

Oh, what’s mine is all mine, give me more time, term limits, say goodnight

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s