The T-Rump made a face. Then another. His latest meeting with the T-Rump Whisperers, a close lot of Neerdowell dinosaurs who had more moolah-moolah leaves than some entire Trumpassic Period species, had not gone well. They wanted him to get rid of dead weight. Except no dino was extinct yet. He’d have to do it while they were alive.
The Sessionsopposum squatted before him, sneaking peeks between giggling into his hands.
“Okay, I told you what needs to be done,” the T-Rump bellowed. “Now get out there and do it. And not one word to the Mediacircustops about this conversation.”
“You bet, T-Rump.”
With a snicker, the Sessionsopposum slithered out of the Oval Dwelling. He stopped and looked at the sun. It was a few hours before bath time, but he always felt stinky after a T-Rump meeting. The Attorney General headed down to the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir.
Moments later, he felt the soothing swamp water cleansing his dry, itchy, arthritic scales.
He felt so good, he felt a song coming on. The Sessionsopposum liked singing in the swamp. He didn’t realize however, there were several Mediacircustops on the other side of the reservoir, behind bushes, biding their time until the next earthquake-like news headline from the Oval Dwelling.
The Attorney General began warbling his swamp song, sounding eerily similar to a Lynyrd Skynyrd tune from millions of years later.
Big wheels keep on earning
Carry me home to save my skin
Singing wrongs about the T-Rump
I miss ‘ole’ Bama Hama, I done sinned again
Well I heard the T-Rump call me beleaguered
Well I heard the T-Rump put me down
Well, I hope he will remember
He won’t be ‘round much longer anyhow
Sweet home Bama Hama
Where my lies are so true
Sweet home Bama Hama
McCabe, I’m comin’ to fire you
In Birmingham they loved Judgeroymoore, boo-hoo-hoo
Now we all did what we could do
Now Muellersavus does not bother me
Does your conscience bother you, tell the truth
Sweet home Bama Hama
Where my lies are so true
Sweet home Bama Hama
McCabe, I’m comin’ to fire you, here I come.
Now Moscovian Bluffs has got the Putinodon
And he’s been known to poison too (yes, he do)
Lord he scares me off so much
I did recuse myself, now how ‘bout you?
Sweet home Bama Hama
Where my lies are so true
Sweet home Bama Hama
McCabe, I’m comin’ to fire you
Sweet home Bama Hama, oh sweet home
Where my lies are so true and Judgeroymoore’s blue
Sweet home Bama Hama
McCabe, I’m comin’ to fire you
The Sessionsopposum smiled and shook his head to get the swamp water out of his ears. He didn’t hear the Mediacircustops racing through the jungle to spread the latest news.
David Belisle 