Sweet Home Bama Hama …

The T-Rump made a face. Then another. His latest meeting with the T-Rump Whisperers, a close lot of Neerdowell dinosaurs who had more moolah-moolah leaves than some entire Trumpassic Period species, had not gone well. They wanted him to get rid of dead weight. Except no dino was extinct yet. He’d have to do it while they were alive.

The Sessionsopposum squatted before him, sneaking peeks between giggling into his hands.

“Okay, I told you what needs to be done,” the T-Rump bellowed. “Now get out there and do it. And not one word to the Mediacircustops about this conversation.”

“You bet, T-Rump.”

With a snicker, the Sessionsopposum slithered out of the Oval Dwelling. He stopped and looked at the sun. It was a few hours before bath time, but he always felt stinky after a T-Rump meeting. The Attorney General headed down to the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir.

Moments later, he felt the soothing swamp water cleansing his dry, itchy, arthritic scales.

He felt so good, he felt a song coming on. The Sessionsopposum liked singing in the swamp. He didn’t realize however, there were several Mediacircustops on the other side of the reservoir, behind bushes, biding their time until the next earthquake-like news headline from the Oval Dwelling.

The Attorney General began warbling his swamp song, sounding eerily similar to a Lynyrd Skynyrd tune from millions of years later.

Big wheels keep on earning

Carry me home to save my skin

Singing wrongs about the T-Rump

I miss ‘ole’ Bama Hama, I done sinned again

Well I heard the T-Rump call me beleaguered

Well I heard the T-Rump put me down

Well, I hope he will remember

He won’t be ‘round much longer anyhow

Sweet home Bama Hama

Where my lies are so true

Sweet home Bama Hama

McCabe, I’m comin’ to fire you

In Birmingham they loved Judgeroymoore, boo-hoo-hoo

Now we all did what we could do

Now Muellersavus does not bother me

Does your conscience bother you, tell the truth

Sweet home Bama Hama

Where my lies are so true

Sweet home Bama Hama

McCabe, I’m comin’ to fire you, here I come.

Now Moscovian Bluffs has got the Putinodon

And he’s been known to poison too (yes, he do)

Lord he scares me off so much

I did recuse myself, now how ‘bout you?

Sweet home Bama Hama

Where my lies are so true

Sweet home Bama Hama

McCabe, I’m comin’ to fire you

Sweet home Bama Hama, oh sweet home

Where my lies are so true and Judgeroymoore’s blue

Sweet home Bama Hama

McCabe, I’m comin’ to fire you

The Sessionsopposum smiled and shook his head to get the swamp water out of his ears. He didn’t hear the Mediacircustops racing through the jungle to spread the latest news.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s