Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet …

The large-noggined Nostradamarus leaned back against the shady Holyoak Tree at the corner of Astrodon Avenue and Styracosaurus Street. It was a busy intersection of migration routes and a prime location to spout doomsday sayings. He watched intently at the dinos hurrying along, always on the lookout for their next meal. There was simply no time these days for existential thoughts.

That’s where the Nostradamarus came in. He made it his business to keep dinos up to date with the life-threatening news that may on the surface appear as harmless fluff in the grand scheme of things. The Nostradamarus had seen a lot hanging out at the Holyoak. He’d watched the Joemccarthy Red Dino Scare picked apart by the veteran Mediacircustops, the Edwardmurrow. The Nostradamarus had been watching when the Trickydickeroo fell into the dire Watergate Straits and been forced to give up his reign in the Oval Dwelling. But lately, with the Tyrumposaurus in power, he couldn’t wake up any day of the week without giving serious thought to slamming his eyeballs shut and just going back to sleep. 

But the Nostradamarus had a job to do. He’d opened his eyes and dutifully dragged himself out of his cave down to his doomsday domain to alert the masses that these were indeed desperate times. The Muellersavus investigation had not exonerated the T-Rump. On the contrary, the ten counts of obstruction of justice merely scratched the surface because the very day after the Muellersavus said, “Hey! This dino? Watch out for him. No, I mean really watch out for him,” the T-Rump had contacted the Zelensky to have him stir things up in the upcoming November battle. That is, if the Zelensky wanted help against the Russodinos in his backyard. The Ukraine Plain scandal that followed led to the recently completed impeachment trial in the Sin Hut where all the Grandoldparty dinos, all except the venerable Mittromney, agreed that the T-Rump was — horror of horrors! — innocent because a fair trial was after all possible without relevant witnesses. It was enough to make a dino choke on a Porcupinaurus.

What was next? How bad was it going to get? When would this end? Prospects were not good. The attorney dino general, the Williambarr was solidly entrenched in the T-Rump’s corner. Add in 50+ Grandoldparty Sin Hut dinos, all blatantly exposed as lapdog sycophants with the November battle still nine months away, and it was anybody’s guess. Ahem, the Nostradamarus’ guess. 

The prognosticating prong-horned dino sighed and looked overhead at the gleaming sun. Top of the hour. Time to again bring his message to the dino nation. Being a doomsday dino was a lonely job with few merits and fewer hand-outs. But bringing it meant singing it. Fortunately for him, it was a catchy tune.


I met the devil T-Rump

He stole my soul away

He said, I need more comin’ to me

Today and everyday

He thinks that any shove is good shovin’

So he pushed them out, no sweat

His walnut brain cracked one more time 

He said,

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

M-m-m-maybe, you just ain’t seen n-n-nothin’ yet

Yovanovitch, you never gonna forget

M-m-m-maybe, you just ain’t seen n-n-nothin’ yet

Nothin’ yet

Your knees on the ground

That’s how you behold me


And if you are a bettor

You’ll win this bet for sure

They took him to a doctor

And he said there is no cure

T-Rump said that when push comes to shove

So he fired those a threat

Another complete reset

And then his walnut brain cracked one more time


He said,

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

M-m-m-maybe, you just ain’t seen n-n-nothin’ yet

Hey, Vindman, here’s something you’re never gonna forget

Fired! You know, you know, you just ain’t seen nothin’ yet

You need educatin’

Did you go to my school?


Any shove is good shovin’

On Pete Rose, he was dead set

The Hall of Fame, his best bet

And then, and then, and then

And his walnut brain cracked one more time


He said

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

Maybe, you just ain’t seen n-n-nothin’ yet

I’m stumbling, I’m bumbling

Gordon Sondland, you’re never gonna forget, maybe

Maybe, maybe, maybe you ain’t seen n-n-nothin’ yet

Your knees on the ground

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

That’s how you behold me

He said, you need to join my cult, follow my rule

We know we ain’t seen nothin’ yet

We know we ain’t seen nothin’ yet



You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!