Donald Trump Humor

The Long and Blinding Road …

The long throng of T-Rumpers, that is, dinos that would bite their tails off if it would please the Tyrumposaurus, slogged their way down the main path in the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir. It was their 35th consecutive day of marching. …

The long throng of T-Rumpers, that is, dinos that would bite their tails off if it would please the Tyrumposaurus, slogged their way down the main path in the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir. It was their 35th consecutive day of marching. Because marching helped ease their aggression. To a dino, they felt the outcome of the election had done them a grave, severe injustice. So severe, many of them had simply dropped everything, unable to contain their anger and all-consuming rage, unable to even focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Again, marching helped.

Which is how the Innocenti Bystanderus, or Inny for short, came to be mixed up in the mad, disconsolate and outright insulted multitude of dinos marching along, mumbling, grumbling and speaking their walnut minds. Inny was an introvert, a rare characteristic for a T-Rump follower, but Inny’s dino therapist recommended he get out of his cave and live a little. This was his 35th straight day as well. He was living a lot.

Inny’s legs were short for a dinosaur, which meant he was constantly being passed by other marching dinos, allowing him to catch snippets of their conversations, be it dialogue, monologue or aspersions flung aside. All part of the indoctrination he still struggled to comprehend. What was this new alternative mindset? He kept his head down as he took his small measured strides. His therapist had told him to never look a T-Rumper in the eye. They might attack without warning.

The voice of a dino evangelical type rang out.

“Plandemics, it’s a plan. Locusts, plagues, two paths, man. It’s time to choose.”

Then a rabid rabble rouser. 

“Kemp is a traitor. The world knows T-Rump won.”

A confident, even calculating voice.  

“The fraud, the cheating. I mean, all of these things are there. And yet it’s going forward. It doesn’t make sense. It does not bode well for the future of Dino Nation. I’m disappointed with the Dino Supreme Court that they’re not taking up this fraudulent election.”

And more confident, even more calculating words, lost in some verbal loop of internal confirmation.

“It was very disappointing. Because I felt that the Supreme Court should’ve at least heard the case. Somebody has to hear the evidence and allow … uh, at least those of us who believe that the election was fraudulent. To hear the evidence pan its way out, pan itself out. And make a decision based upon the facts, not saying that you don’t have standing because you don’t have an injury. Because we all have injury. I’m from Pennsylvaneus. My vote didn’t count.”

A Loudmouth Leatherlung dino. There was one in every crowd.

“We the dinos will not accept communism in this great Milkanhoney Preservation. We will stand against it.”

An Asiansaurae accent.

“Marshall law, get used to it. Marshall law.” 

A female voice. From the old valley.

“It all happened over night, y’know. Um, my life changed overnight.  Um, like I said, in dino court, um, I can’t get a job.  Um, nobody will hire me. Um. The T-Rump warned us about’em for years. We’ve been warned about mail-in ballots forever. And, um, but the Donkeykongrus took every avenue in this election. We’ve gotta get it back. It’s ours.”

And … the Rogerstone? 

“They tell us this election is over. Nothing is over until we say it is. We will fight to the bitter end for an honest count.”

Inny had heard enough. This 35-day mantra had finally hit home. The words had opened his eyes. Loosened his lips. He looked up to the sky and sang.

The long and blinding road, that bleeds guts and gore

We’ve had it up to here, just listen to us roar

We’ll stop the steal right here, if it leads to civil war

The wild and wooly fight, and the pain, goes to say

They all done tried to steer, all our votes their way 

We can’t just disappear, gonna save the day 

Many times we’ve picked a bone, you know we got our pride

We need our heroes y’know, like Bonnie an’ Clyde

That’s why there’s no turnin’ back, on this long blinding road

As sure as I’m standin’ here cuz I ain’t gonna go

Cuz that’s the oath I swore to give T-Rump four more

Standin’ by and standin’ back on this long blinding road

Get Perdue and Kelly here, them two just gotta go

Why are they even here? Kick’em out the door!


You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

By David Belisle

I'm a novelist and screenwriter in search of the Great Guffaw. It's kind of like getting hit with a bucket of Gatorade. It's a good time that sticks with you.

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