The lone Lobosaurus stopped and looked around. He’d been trudging along head down for some time and evidently strayed from the Michigonian neighborhood path. He was nearsighted and a little hard of hearing, a dino with pre-existing conditions, if you will. He focused as best he could on his new, foreign surroundings. What he saw gave him immediate pause and his tail a quick, defensive twitch.
Before him was a pack of over 200 angry, phlegm-spewing, knuckle-dragging Militiasaurae dinos who looked like they were angry at the world for most of the day. Uh-oh. Lobo was definitely on the wrong side of the path. He’d accidentally stumbled into a Stop the Steal rally for dinos who were positive in their beliefs — based on no evidence — that the Joebiden had stolen the election from the T-Rump. The Lobosaurus quietly turned about face and begin to slowly slink away. Too late.
“You there!” hollered one of the Militiasaurae. “Where do you think you’re going?”
The big dino had a long scar along his chin, caused the week before when he’d tried to eat a Raptor that wasn’t dead yet. The Lobosaurus tapped his own lower lip thoughtfully.
“I – I think I’m in the wrong place.”
“Is that so? Is there something wrong with this place?”
“Pardon?”
“Who did you vote for?”
“I’m sorry, but that’s privileged information.”
“Aha! You’re a Joebiden dino. You’re in the wrong place, pal.”
“That’s what I was saying. S-o-o-o, I really should be getting back to my cave before another dino moves in. You know how tough finding a cave is these days.
The Militiasaurus held up a hand.
“Not so fast.” He looked around. “Hey, guys! We got a live one here.”
In the dino world, that pretty much is the last thing one hears before being eaten alive.
A minute later the Lobosaurus was surrounded by 200 sinister-looking, freely salivating dinos. Chin Scar nudged him with his tail.
“Okay, Joebiden guy, admit it. Your guy’s a fraud. He stole the election. He robbed us blind.”
“Well, if what you say is true, why would he go to all that trouble and not change any dinos in the Sin Hut?”
200 pairs of Militiasaurae eyes en masse rolled one way, then the other in communal consternation. Chin Scar stamped his big foot down.
“Don’t listen to him. That’s Mediacircustops fake news.”
“You can’t change the facts.”
“Except we don’t like your facts. We’re doing quite nicely playing connect the dots with QAnonymousarus theories. Venezuela-Wayla, socialism … and that dead Hugochavez dino. You guys are guilty as sin. So guilty we don’t need that Sidneypowell dino any more.”
“Guilty of what? I’d welcome any evidence.”
“Don’t get smart with us.”
“But the dino authorities, that’s what they go by … you know, legitimate authority?”
Lobo didn’t like the look in the Militiasaurae eyes. Chin Scar chuckled.
“Let’s just say we’re standing by, as the T-Rump called it.”
“Uh, before you all run off and do something you might regret, if I might offer some advice?”
“Oh, and what would that be?”
That November came a day
When T-Rumpers tried to sway
And how frauds, cheats and liars
Was their common refrain
All the courts told them where to go
For attempted recount overthrow
Cuz they only wish
T-Rump was back in power again
Me and you and a dad-blamed coup
Evil spreadin’ across the land
Me and you and a dad-blamed coup
How did this get so out of hand?
Now they did try to stall
But ol’ Judge Brann, he made his call
Said they stitched theories together
Just like Frankenstein’s friend
Six million voters they would shirk
Then call it a Pennsylvania quirk
Pass the bananas
We have a republic to mend
Me and you and a dad-blamed coup
Evil spreadin’ across the land
Me and you and a dad-blamed coup
Whatever happened to the master plan?
Now America had its say
But Missus Murphy’s still in the way
Though it was Esper and Krebs got fired
Cuz they complained
Covid’s killed a quarter million or so
So now we gotta turn to Joe
Forget their brazen bid, how to tell’em
This is insane
Me and you and a dad-blamed coup
Evil spreadin’ across the land
Me and you and a dad-blamed coup
Time to stand up, Republicans
Me and you and a dad-blamed coup
Evil spreadin’ across the land
Me and you and a dad-blamed coup
Democracy to beat the band
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 