The Doomsday Deal …

A hopeful Kushneratops looked across the flat rock table at the Saudisaurus crown prince. The prince was addressed as Embee-Yes by special decree, given that every Saudisaurae dino and the Tyrumposaurus’ senior adviser had to agree with him. Embee-Yes had the Kushneratops’  bony tail firmly secured under his left foot.

“Ahem, Embee-Yes?”

“What is it?”

“I know our top secret deal is complete …”

“You mean the one your father-in-law overruled his experts so you’d have clearance? That is why you snuck back in here. Don’t grovel. Pay attention if you want to learn something about the Middle Eastlands.”

“Of course, your excellency, but the real reason I came back is because …”

The crown prince frowned at the skinny, weak-kneed dino before him.

“Well, out with it.”

“I – I was wondering if we could do a … high-five? You know, like the one you did with the Putinodon?”

Embee-Yes put a claw to his lips to stifle a laugh. How naive this Kushneratops klutz. Unable to realize the high-five in question was at his expense.

There was a sudden commotion outside, some dino yelps and nasty assertions to ancestry. The Qatarsaurus burst into the cave, followed by the crown prince’s dino guard in hot pursuit.

“How’d you get in here?!” boomed the Embee-Yes. The crown prince didn’t wait for an answer. He shot a look to his guard, quaking nearby with a horrified look on his face.

“Should I go Khashoggi on him, boss?”

Embee-Yes winced and turned to the Kushneratops, who waved it off with a swipe of his short arm.

“Didn’t hear a thing. Not a word.”

The crown prince motioned for the guard to wait outside and turned his attention back to the Qatarsaurus.

“To what do I owe this visit from the terrorist next door?”

“My dinos are not terrorists. This is the fake news you feed to the T-Rump. I’m here because I’m onto you. You blame us. You hate us. You used us!”

Embee-Yes yawned.

“Such is life in the Middle Eastlands.”

This only angered the Qatarsaurus more. Nostrils flaring, phlegm dripping, he had only just begun.

“We own 9 percent of Brookfield. We put a lot of moolah-moolah in there. We had no idea they were going to go and bail you out.”

He glared at the Kushneratops. Indeed, Brookfield a global dino cave investor, had rescued the Kushneratops who was in debt up to his eyeballs by paying 1 billion moolah-moolah leaves up front for a 99-year lease on the Kushnertops’ Manhatinhand cave. After all, every dino thought they were going to live one hundred years.

“What’s more …”

“I’m not sure I’m up for a ‘what’s more’ today,” said Embee-Yes. “There’s nothing I hate more than a dino who can think.”

Undaunted, the Qatarsaurus continued.

“Brookfield owns Westinghouse … breeding grounds for the dangerous Nuclearreactor. You know it’s only a matter of time before they have a Nuclearballisticus running around. This deal has been going on since the T-Rump came to power. The Flynnhasbeen was working on it. Why, only last month the T-Rump was meeting with you on this, wasn’t he?”

The white-faced Kushneratops was caught off guard. Think fast. Think like the T-Rump. Any response will do.

“Well, uh … the good crown prince here would then just go and get a Nuclearballisticus from the Russodinos or the Gaypareeweewee, wouldn’t you?”

Embee-Yes gave a whatcha-gonna-do shrug. The Qatarsaurus wasn’t buying it.

“You think you’re going to get away with this, don’t you? Both of you. You’re not because it makes no sense. It’s insane! The T-Rump says no to the Kimjongadon but it’s okay for you to have a Nuclearballisticus, another weapon to go with your Bonesawtooth dino.”

The crown prince flinched at the comment. The Qatarsaurus looked down his snout at the Kushneratops.

“When the Donkeykongrus gets through with you, you won’t have security clearance to dip your toes in your wife’s mud bath. That reminds me, why exactly does the Tyvanka need security clearance?”

“Because she’s … daddy’s girl?”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s