There continue to be big cracks in the T-Rump dig. Cracks from which I’m pulling bones — with more cracks — telling quite a different story from previous analyses. Cracks beget cracks. It’s the Trumpassic news cycle. I have new evidence of previous interaction between the Tyrumposaurus and the Mexicodino, the Aussiesaurus and the Scoutzhonoraptor.
I will analyze these individually of course, but we must first place this information in its proper context. The T-Rump may well be suffering from gonzofibberlips, a rare stand-alone disorder whereby it is impossible for him to remember past events. Each day is a new Paleolithic slate, where he simply rewrites the past. It’s like 50 First Dates, only this is now closing in on 200 for poor ol’ T-Rump.
Let’s go to the bones …
The T-Rump met with the Mexicodino, wanting him to look over the Great Tex-Mex Divide, an area the T-Rump viewed as being key to his survival. I’m paraphrasing here but the unhappy Mexicodino went straight to the Mediacircustops which had the T-Rump soon intervening, telling the Mediacircustops that the Great Tex-Mex Divide was safe and that the Mexicodino should put his energy to better use by cleaning up the nearby Newhampshire-Drugg Den.
The T-Rump then bumped into the Aussiesaurus, who nodded favorably to the Obamarus migration, a multi-species mass exodus. This infuriated the T-Rump, who felt it would surely kill him, the greatest dinosaur, to let so many others — about 1250 — into the Milcanhoney Preservation. The enraged T-Rump called the meeting “dino dung” preferring a previous Putinodon meeting that went “peachy keen.” Hmm …
A final note, clinching my gonzofibberlips prognosis. Thanks to a new fossil study technique called psycho-osteo brainstem-stammering, I learned that the T-Rump claimed the Scoutzhonoraptors met him to say his presence at their meeting was the greatest thing since Sliced Ted, a wise-cracking pterodactyl. In truth however, when the young Scoutzhonoraptors heard the loud, bombastic roars of the T-Rump, they dashed pell-mell over the Head-Smashed-In Dinosaur Jump to their final, fossil resting place.
We owe a great debt to the Mediacircustops and psycho-osteo brainstem-stammering for shedding light on these incredible goings-on deep in the dark depths of the Trumpassic Period.
David Belisle 