I must point out immediately my discovery that I’m not actually sitting on top of a Donaldosaurus. Late last night by the light of a Plasticine candle, I discovered my calculations were off. By 80 million years. What I assumed was a Donaldosaurus is actually a Tyrumpasaurus, or T-Rump for short. Note the shock of orange scalp in the above picture.
The T-Rump appears to have been suffering from something prior to his demise. Gee, 20 Hamburgus’ he devoured on the Audi-Merkellian Summit perhaps? The symptoms are certainly there. First off, T-Rump can’t escape from NAFTA! It’s everywhere. (Nafta is the local spelling for naptha or crude oil.) Then there’s the gnawing marks of the Travelbanus, a wayward Triassic reptile and the Border-walrus. The two always seem to travel in pairs. The Border-walrus is ancestor to the walrus but was much taller, ten feet to be exact.
Then there’s climate change. Did the T-Rump already forgot about the Cretaceous-Hygiene mass extinction? Too many dinosaurs hemmed and hawed over that one. This all happened in front of the Mediacircustops, who were slow, plodding, muck-raking dinosaurs from the Late-Mesozoic Edward Murrow Formation. They simply wanted their freedom, but tell that to T-Rump.
Finally, the most telling of my Audi-Merkellian Summit prognosis, are the slashing, gashing, too-close-for comfort swipes of the Kimjongadon. I have the feeling this incorrigible crocodile is getting too big for this dig. Which reminds me, I may have to adjust the carbon dating for the Kimjongadon’s extinction. Hmm. Not sure which way T-Rump is leaning. Will know soon, once I sift more dirt.
David Belisle 