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Satire The Trump Dig

Putinodon on Tap? …

I made the startling discovery today of Phalaris canariensis. Birdseed, that is. This hints that with any luck, I may soon discover the remains of the pesky Putinodon, a relatively small bird-like dinosaur that slithered across …

I made the startling discovery today of Phalaris canariensis. Birdseed, that is. This hints that with any luck, I may soon discover the remains of the pesky Putinodon, a relatively small bird-like dinosaur that slithered across from the Central Mongolian Plateau during the Siberhackian Era. The Putinodon has a highly unstable classification, having first been thought to be a lizard. With grasping hands, a large brain and stereoscopic vision, he’s much like today’s Procyon, the common raccoon.

If the Donaldosaurus and Putinodon should meet, it would be a Trumpassic first. Expect an Olympian level of macho. Will there be ruffled, fossilized feathers? When the dust is sifted, perhaps the Donaldosaurus had a sour sauropod that day and doesn’t attack. It doesn’t take a political paleontologist to know the Putinodon has been meddling in Rizes cyperaceae (grass roots) since Pangaea broke up into Fordpintosia and Bananaland. So many questions. I love my job.

By David Belisle

I'm a novelist and screenwriter in search of the Great Guffaw. It's kind of like getting hit with a bucket of Gatorade. It's a good time that sticks with you.

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