It’s Swift and Sweeping …

“What took you so long?”

The dinosaur doctor hurried inside the Oval Dwelling and squatted across from the Tyrumposaurus.

“I came as soon as I heard. You said you thought you were coming down with something?”

“Yes, well, the Mediacircustops first brought it up and since you’re the expert, I thought I’d run it by you before I begin to, um … panic.”

“What exactly am I diagnosing here?”

“Latent stage neurosyphilis.”

“Hmm. Well, we need to begin somewhere. What is your weight these days?”

“200.”

The dino doc gave the T-Rump a stern disbelieving glare.

“Okay, okay. 6,000 pounds.”

“That’s better. Don’t take this personally. Remember, I’m rooting for you.”

“I need a cheater, not a cheerleader.”

The doc ignored the T-Rump.

“Any gastro-intestinal issues?”

“I wish. That’s like gas lighting, right?”

“Uh, no. I remember you limping down that small hill the other day. You looked to be in great pain.” 

“Oh, that. I wasn’t limping. I’ll have you know I ran down that entire hill at top speed. Backwards.”

“Yes, of course you did. Now for your cognitive state. Look at the blank wall over there and tell me what you see.” 

“I see division.” 

“Oh? What kind of division?” 

“Bad, bad division. Very bad.” 

“I – I don’t know what to say. I’m astounded. It’s a miracle. Did I just hear you say that you understand that division is a bad thing in our society?” 

“Hardly. Division is bad because I’m losing! You gotta help me win, doc. What do I have you here for? Everything is about me winning in November.” 

“Well, perhaps if you were to read.” 

“Don’t even start. Dammit. Now look what you’ve done. You’ve ruined my day.” 

“How’s that?”

“You made me think of … school.” 

“Go on.”

The T-Rump crossed his short arms defensively.

“I hated school.” 

“And why’s that?” 

“Because all the other dinos hated me. Stupid kids. Stupid school.” 

“But there must have been something you liked.”

A thought dared frequent the T-Rump’s walnut. 

“Well, one day a dino teacher told me history was like ‘his story’ and it could be my story. I didn’t even know the guy. But he’s a great guy because history was now my story and I didn’t even have to do anything. So okay, I’ll admit it. I know history because it’s my story.” 

“Ahem, I believe what the teacher was referring to is that your life would be a part of history.” 

The T-Rump scowled at him.

“You don’t have many friends, do you? No, you’re wrong, doc. Oh, sure. There are other dinos in my story but they’re just that. History.” 

“Hmm. Now I’m beginning to understand your big speech yesterday celebrating our veteran dinos.” 

“Great speech wasn’t it?” 

“Well …” 

“I just go with my gut. I still remember the main parts. I know them so well, I could sing them.” 

“That won’t be necessary.” 

“Yes, it is, doc. I need to show you I’m not stupid. Uh, but first I’m gonna need you to give me a bouncy beat though.” 

“A … bouncy beat? Why’s that?” 

“To kick-start my brain cells. Would you mind tapping your tail against the ground and stamping on those big Doobie bugs in between your tail taps? They’ll keep you runnin.’” 

“I’ll try.” 

The good doctor began tapping and stamping.

“Good, that’s good. Don’t stop.”

 

So, as far as I know

I’m glad they’re on our side

In Vietnam they did their part

In all those jungles deep inside  

In that hot Desert Storm heat

Our warriors, all strong

We don’t have to worry

It was swift and swift, not long 

Like nobody’s ever seen anything happen

And you know that, you know

And sweeping

It’s swift and sweeping, it’s, it’s swift and sweeping

It’s swift and sweeping, yes, it’s swift and sweeping

It’s swift and sweeping, it’s, It’s swift and sweeping

It’s swift and sweeping, yes, It’s swift and sweeping

Oh, you know how I feel

Hey, no bones spurs, I’d be there

But a lot of you, you yourself

Were involved in that over there 

All of you, don’t worry

That was a quick one, right?

It was over in a hurry

Swift and swift and sweeping-like

Like nobody’s ever seen anything happen

And you know that, you know

It’s sweeping

It’s swift and sweeping, it’s, it’s swift and sweeping

It’s swift and sweeping, yes, it’s swift and sweeping

It’s swift and sweeping, it’s, It’s swift and sweeping

It’s swift and sweeping, yes, It’s swift and sweeping

It’s swift and sweeping

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s