“Look, you’re a good dino, but you’ve made many mistakes.”
The Tonyfauci coughed in surprise.
“Many mistakes? Me? You’re saying I’ve made mistakes?”
The Tyrumposaurus’ accusation had stirred something within the Tonyfauci. Perhaps it was his backbone that in two seconds had grown six feet.
“T-Rump, let’s set the record straight, shall we? You knew of this danger months ago and you did nothing to prepare for it. You called the virus a hoax. Your Dino Nation organizational skills are nonexistent and you couldn’t lead a dino double date. You’d have dinos drink liquid dreck as long as you profit. You still refuse to set an example for the dinos you took an oath to protect by not practicing proper safety measures yourself. It’s a wonder you haven’t killed us all and I’m seriously beginning to wonder if that’s not your one and only plan.”
“How did you … I mean, that’s it. I’ve a good mind to fire you. Is there anything else you’d like to tell me that I can use to maximize your humiliation when I do?”
“That won’t be necessary. I quit.”
“You’re fired! Damn, you beat me to it.”
The Tonyfauci pumped his chest with his short arms and beamed.
“I feel like a new dino. I’m off to spread the grand truth of scientific facts.”
He strode confidently out of the cave.
The T-Rump looked after him with a haughty harrumph.
“Science. Who needs science?”
The Deborahbirx raised a short arm.
“Excuse me, T-Rump? Just a reminder, but I’m a science dino as well. I hope that doesn’t reflect badly on me. I mean, I would like to stay on the task force. I mean, the virus is still with us. Would it be presumptuous of me to believe we may yet have another meeting?”
“Hmm.” The T-Rump mulled over his latest, daily diabolical idea. “Mike, I know you had your heart set on leading this thing here, but it just struck me that if we quietly dissolve the task force … you know, out of sight, out of mind.”
“Sir, the Neverglades just had a record 15,000 new cases today. They just might want to contact us.”
“Oh, no. That’s for the Rondesantos to look after. He’s doing such a fine job, isn’t he? Don’t get mixed up in that. Happy talk. Lots of happy talk. Like the Rogerstone being set free and the Betsydevos today, setting the Danabash straight. I call her “Let’s See” Betsy. No plan and she just kept repeating the we need the kids in school, we need the kids in school. Great educational mantra. Just keep saying and that’s all dinos will remember. Hah! Nothing’s gonna stop us now. I’m telling you. Nothing’s gonna stop us.”
Looking for advice, we know they pay a price
This virus for us is too good to be true
Standing here before you, there’s so much we could do
Clemency for Stone, cuz he’s honest and true
And we drive them crazy, I’m gonna tweet that
The virus is THE plan, all we do is just stand back
Let the world around us just fall apart
Surely, we can’t fix it if we never start
And we’ll ignore this thing together
Standing down forever
Nothing’s gonna stop us now
And if by chance we are discovered
We’ll still have our Bill Barr
Nothing’s gonna stop us
Nothing’s gonna stop us now
Florida, I damned you, I’m just gonna lose you
All the lives it takes, we will hide them from you
Take me to the good times, Texas gets the bad times
All the lives it takes, there’s not much I can do
They can call me crazy, our base won’t know
Hannity will tell them this is the way they must go
Let the world around us just fall apart
Surely, we can’t fix it if we never start
And we’ll ignore this thing together
Standing down forever
Nothing’s gonna stop us now
And if by chance we are discovered
We’ll still have our Bill Barr
Nothing’s gonna stop us
Nothing’s gonna stop us
Oh, all that my greed can do
All that I ever need
And all that I want to do
Is golfing forever, and ever and ever
Hey!
And we’ll ignore this thing together
Standing down forever
Nothing’s gonna stop us now
And if by chance we are discovered
We’ll still have our Bill Barr
Nothing’s gonna stop us
And we’ll ignore this thing together
Standing down forever
Nothing’s gonna stop us now
And if by chance we are discovered
We’ll still have our Bill Barr
Nothing’s gonna stop us
And we’ll ignore this thing together
Standing down forever
Nothing’s gonna stop us now
And if by chance we are discovered
We’ll still have our Bill Barr
Nothing’s gonna stop us
Nothing’s gonna stop us now
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 