The news-sniffing snout of the Jimacosta flared wide twice, testing the air. The veteran Mediacircustops scanned the cave at this hastily-called briefing by the DOJ (Dinos Open Jawed). He checked the dino squatting beside him again. Yes, indeed. It was the Brandonvangrack, lead dino on the Flynnhasbeen prosecution team. Something was up. The Jimacosta watched closely as the Timothyshea, a DOJ lackey, stepped to the Flat Rock Lectern.
“Ahem, good afternoon,”
The Brandonvangrack quickly rose from his squat.
“I’m not going to just squat here and watch this, this gong show happen. What you’re doing here is a travesty. It’s a shameful, disgraceful sham of a travesty wrapped inside insane, corrupt politics where the letter of the law has been reduced to the dino dung stuck to your heel! Damn it all. I’m outta here!”
He rose and bolted from the cave. The Timothyshea wrinkled his nose.
“All right then, another new employment opportunity at the DOJ. The best and brightest, you know. Where were we? Ah, yes. You know what? We over at the DOJ, we’re going to just drop this whole Flynnhasbeen investigation.”
It was the Jimacosta’s turn to jump from his squat.
“What the — ? Are you kidding me?! You’ve been defending this case for two whole years!”
“That may be true, but a lot has come to light lately. I mean, it took us this long to find something that we could actually rally around to get this thing thrown out. Truth be told.”
The Timothyshea put on his most convincing father-knows-best mug. Only it came across as truly condescending.
“We really need only to look at the facts. This investigation should never have happened.”
“And what facts would those be?” The Jimacosta tapped the ground with his tail. “We’re waiting.”
“Why, the interview conducted by the Langleyops of course. They asked him questions. ASKED him questions! How dare they. What is this dino world coming to? And the planning. O-o-o-o-o-h, the diabolical planning. They wanted to get him to lie so he could get fired.”
“But the lies,” argued the Jimacosta. “What about the lies?”
“Ahem. Two words. Not notable.”
“Not notable? He was the freaking national dino security adviser! He’s not even allowed a white lie.”
“Jim, Jim, Jim. I must ask you. What’s in a lie? A simple mistruth? An innocent straying from fact? A somewhat muddled misstep into your Mediacircustops misinformation? A wee baby step wayward of some vague notion of moral obligation?”
“Your point, pal?”
“Who are we to judge?”
“That’s your damn job.”
“And I believe yours is fake news. Go ahead and say what you’re going to say. The T-Rump has you covered. Now then, as I was saying, the Langleyops themselves were preparing to close this case because of an absence of derogatory information.”
“I’ll give you derogatory information, you enabling, knuckle-dragging numbskull!”
It was the Jamescomey at the back of the cave. He was quickly ushered out.
“Ahem,” continued the Timothyshea, “as I was saying, this was no longer a justifiably predicated investigation. It was, uh … untethered. Great word. Not tied to anything. A bad case falling apart. You get the picture. We can’t have that. Got’em on the old technicality. That’s right. Had to happen. A couple of sentences to blow up three years of, uh … stuff. So, with that being said, I want to close on a happy note. The T-Rump wanted a parade and all to celebrate the return of our distinguished warrior, but the Coronavirus put a kabosh on that. Maybe later. For now, let’s all raise our short arms and sing our little hearts out to mark this grand day together. I’m sure you know the words. Come on, now …”
Come all with clout
Come all with sin
You’ll not see nothin’ like the Michael Flynn
Come all with clout
Come all with sin
You’ll not see nothin’ like the Michael Flynn
Everybody’s cheatin’
To get T-Rump votes
Supposed to lead our defense
Turned out he’s a turn coat
Feedin’ the Russian bear
Another Putin toy
Cuz when Flynn and Kislyak went there
No tellin’ what they did destroy
Come all with clout
Come all with sin
You’ll not see nothin’ like the Michael Flynn
He lied about his shadow quest
He lied with every tweet
24 days to be replaced
He agreed he was guilty
So guilty, he copped a plea
He sang like some church hymn
But when Flynn and Kislyak get here
He’s gonna lie to Pence again
Come all with clout
Come all with sin
You’ll not see nothin’ like the Michael Flynn
Come all with clout
Come all with sin
You’ll not see nothin’ like the Michael Flynn
He will do what he’s gonna do
And never take the fall
Go ask Sally Yates about him
Don’t need no pardon at all
He can watch his grandson sleep
He can step on anyone’s toes
Cuz when Flynn and Kislyak get here
That’s when Billy Barr will impose
You’re free!
Come all with clout
Come all with sin
You’ll not see nothin’ like the Michael Flynn
Come all with clout
Come all with sin
You’ll not see nothin’ like the Michael Flynn
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 