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Donald Trump Humor

Hawley Holy Hell …

“We’ve got the Joshhawley. Tell me we still have the Joshhawley and the Dirty Dozen in the Sin Hut.”
“Yes, T-Rump.” said the Markmeadows. “They’re still in the fold. With 140 Grandoldparty dinos from the Kongrus Kave.” …

“We’ve got the Joshhawley. Tell me we still have the Joshhawley and the Dirty Dozen in the Sin Hut.”

“Yes, T-Rump.” said the Markmeadows. “They’re still in the fold. With 140 Grandoldparty dinos from the Kongrus Kave.”

The Joshhawley was a young dino from Show-Me-Mizzou. He was still wet behind the ears in most things political. Except for his sudden penchant to throw caution and the rest of his career to the wind to support the T-Rump in his bid to overturn the dino electoral college vote in two days time. Just one year earlier during the T-Rump impeachment, the Joshhawley had basically said he would push his dino grandmother of the highest cliff rather than interfere with a free and fair election. Good thing his grandmother and a high cliff were not in plain sight.

“Good. Real good. This is our second wave after the Kenpaxton’s Pack fizzled out. We need to keep the pressure on. And the Mincepencenow. Where’s he stand?”

“Well, the Louiegohmert sued him to change the electoral vote in his position as boss of the Sin Hut. But Mike had the dino judge toss it out … and, uh, now the Mincepencenow is prepared to side with you. So, you might want to get back with me tomorrow on that to see where his head’s at then. I’m thinking mother isn’t feeling well.”

“Operation Bust-Up Biden’s Big Day. How’s that coming along?”

“We’ve contacted all the unsavory White-Striped dinos in the nation — the Proudboys, the not so Proudboys and the Proudboys you’d never take home to meet your mother. You told them it’s going to be, ahem … wild  … and I just know they are, um … standing by. I – I’m getting chills just thinking about it.”

“Funny, Mark. I never took you for the rough-and-tumble dino. Alright then. Moving right along. Who are we shaking down today?”

“I believe we’re up to the Raffensperger.”

“Get him in her pronto. We need him to find 11,780 votes. Now.” 

The Markmeadows hustled out of the Oval Dwelling. Evil was brewing. Nefarious, diabolical, devil-may-care-but-the-T-Rump-certainly-doesn’t kind of evil in the Trumpassic Period underway yet again. It was the national pastime. It made the Trickydicky Watergate Straits fiasco look like a minor, accidental case of mistaken identity. The gravity of the situation was not lost on the Neildiamond, who just happened to be ambling slowly down a path about a half mile away. The pending doom in the days ahead launched two fronts in his mind. Then words met music and a dino anthem rang out through the land.

Hawley holy hell, burning liberty 

Just a sham, Josh’s scam 

Who could believe in

Hawley holy

Hawley holy hell

Haunting bloodless coup

And they came

And we ran for freedom’s high hill 

Hawley holy

Bring it on

Bring it on. You’re wrong.

Bring it on. Bring it on!

Bring. It. On!

Yeah! … Yeah!

Fall in line and get ready to fight

Those who can’t tell T-Rump good-bye

Such a stand will never be right

And their game plan, they’re gonna lie

And they lie. Hey, and they lie

Hawley holy hell

Flamed our fears gone wild

They’d mislead

Make us bleed, secede tomorrow

Hawley holy

Bring it on 

Bring it on. You’re wrong.

Bring it on, bring it on!

Bring. It. On!

Yeah! … Yeah!

Fall in line and get ready to fight

Those who can’t tell T-Rump good-bye

Such a stand will never be right

And their game plan, they’re gonna lie

And they lie … Hey 

God, they lie

Hawley holy hell

Dream we’ll soon be through

Hawley holy hell

Hawley holy hell

Hawley holy hell

……………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

By David Belisle

I'm a novelist and screenwriter in search of the Great Guffaw. It's kind of like getting hit with a bucket of Gatorade. It's a good time that sticks with you.

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