“Uh, it’s good to see you back in the Oval Dwelling,” said the Moscowmitch. “It’s too bad you had to cut short your holiday at Mar-a-Guano.”
“I had to,” grunted the Tyrumposaurus. “I couldn’t sit there staring at the Tymelania’s gawd-awful scratchings on the wall one more minute, dammit!”
“Was it Be Best or Be Worst?”
Awkward silence. The T-Rump wasn’t biting.
“Uh, well then, perhaps we should cut to the chase. Why exactly did you want to see me today?”
“Because I wanted to hear from your own mouth how the Joshhawley is doing a bang-up job, coming out like he did, ready to contest the dino electoral college votes in a few days’ time. I need to hear your warm, ringing, good cheer praise for his actions. Right here. Right now.”
Like a sudden, large bullfrog burp, the Moscowmitch’s cheeks inflated with surprise. Full of air too, but nothing close to resembling words of affirmation.
“A-hah! I was right. You can’t do it. Whose side are you on, Mitch?”
“Well … I – I did put your anti-Mediacircustops and your election fraud commission requests in the bill. Consider it dead. Dead on arrival, T-Rump. Like the other 400 stone dead bills in my cave.”
“Not good enough. Not by a longshot. Haven’t seen you in days. Hmm. The Mincepencenow has been avoiding me as well.” He pointed an accusing claw at the Moscowmitch. “You and him. You’re plotting together against me. Go ahead and admit it. I know a good conspiracy theory when I see one.”
“I don’t even like him. It’s downright embarrassing watching him … I’m sorry. I said too much. I know you enjoy his fawning adulation.”
The T-Rump had already moved on.
“And what’s with this whole kerfuffle in the Georgia Orchard? I’m going down there and have no idea what the hell I’m getting into. The Davidperdue and the Kellyloeffler want to give the dinos two thousand moolah-moolah leaves but they don’t want to say my election was rigged because they want their own votes. And you added my issues to your bill and now the dinos won’t get their two thousand that I’ve been screaming about. How the hell did we even get here? What moron is responsible for this?”
“Well, T-Rump. You’ve said a mouthful but allow me to explain.”
“Oh, so I’m the moron, am I?”
“N-o-o-o-o.”
“I’m not the moron. You’re the moron! You’re the moron! Neil! Get in here right now! ”
The Neildiamond sheepishly entered the room and found a spot to the side of the cave. The T-Rump snorted.
“I’m not nuts. Ahem. I’ll just keep getting a second opinion. Meanwhile, I’m going to set you straight, you turkey gobbling, grey-waddled, old goofy gofer. My goofy gofer. Who is not in my corner. Hmph. We’ll see about that. Maximum embarrassment. Maximum in-your-face embarrassment. Go ahead, Neil. Let him have it.”
The musical dino raised a short arm.
“I, uh … made a few last minute adjustments …”
“Shut up and sing.”
Kentucky moron
He lines up his own to the right
He only confronts
And he tells you all to sit tight
And his power, God knows, his power
Kentucky moron
He only shows you
How much he owns you
Kentucky moron
Well, you see his turtle head turn
To excuses too lame
Vaccine aside, he’s the big shot
Of poison pill fame
And you can’t flee
God knows, you can’t flee
Kentucky moron
He only shows you
How much he owns you
Kentucky moron
He’s out of touch
Who gave Satan back his seat?
Georgia’s touch
Just the girl to
Knock him down, sit for good
Ain’t no doubt, gotta get him out
Kentucky moron
He only shows you
How much he owns you
Kentucky moron
He’s out of touch
Who gave Satan back his seat?
Georgia’s touch
Just the girl to
Knock him down, sit for good
Ain’t no doubt, gotta get him out
Kentucky moron
He only shows you
How much he owns you
Kentucky moron
Kentucky moron
Kentucky moron
……………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 