“Hey, I’m speaking now! Everybody, shut up!”
The Ronnamcdaniel, chief dino of the Grandoldparty planning committee, had a certain way about her. The Trumpassic Period was a cut-throat dino world where razor-sharp teeth always left marks and blood was typically spilt by noon. Except she was on home turf today, trying to fire up the good dinos of Georgia Orchard to get out the word for two Grandoldparty dinos. The Kellyloeffler and the Davidperdue were in the upcoming dino run-off into the jungle for two Sin Hut seats at the big dino’s flat rock table. The natives were restless at this latest meet-and-greet-and-eat.
“Now the T-Rump just told me yesterday, he said unequivocally, that he supports the Loeffler and Perdue and he’s coming right down here to Georgia Orchard to help them out. Dinos want to see him out there battling for our two dinos, as he continues to fight his own battles and make sure that his election was fair and transparent.”
A loud Leatherneck from the back of the cave rose off his haunches.
“Wait a goll-darn minute there. Are you saying that the T-Rump is having troubles with his own election against the Joebiden … but our little ol’ Sin Hut election is gonna be fair and square? How can that be? What in tarnation is goin’ on?”
“Hold on now, just stop right there.” The Ronnamcdaniel took a deep breath. “I want you all to read my rubbery lips. I am categorically dismissing each and every concern or apprehension you may have over the legitimacy of the election because that is only put there to discourage you, the T-Rump voters from voting in this run-off.”
“Say what?” came the voice of dino down front whose dander had been sufficiently raised. “Your last statement only gives me cause and concern. And great alarm! Did I hear you right? You’re saying that the cheatin’ IS there but we ain’t allowed to worry about it? You ain’t easin’ my fears, lady. You is multiplyin’ them!”
Another dino jumped in.
“And the T-Rump jumped all over our own dino, the Raffensberger and threw him right under the Priebusunderbus. That Raffensberger is a good Georgia Orchard dino. A real peach of a dino. Would you mind explainin’ that one cuz I’m a-listenin’ with both o’ my big ears!”
“Well, um … you see, it’s like this.” The Ronnamcdaniel licked her rubbery lips. Now she knew how the Emilymurphy felt. Between a rock and a hard place and an extra hard rock falling from above. “Okay, okay, yes, the T-Rump has leveled claims of widespread fraud here. And he said that he could see we were dealing with a very fraudulent system. He’s worried about that. But let’s look on the bright side. He also called the Kellyloeffler and the Davidperdue tremendous dinos. Very tremendous, widespread tremendous. Let’s focus on that, shall we?”
Yet another dino hollered above others to be heard in the commotion.
“The Tyrumposaurus, bless his heart, he done informed us time and time again that this whole thing is rigged, it is. How come we have to put in all this time and effort when the race is already decided?”
“No, no, no. It’s not decided. Please don’t say that. I’m new at this deprogramming thing, so please bear with me. It’s a work in progress. This is the key. Trust me. At some point soon we’ll be able to convince you without anybody getting hurt or lasting side effects.”
“Are you talking about the Coronavirus?” asked a concerned elderly lady dino.
“No, ma’am. Please, one crisis at a time. Okay, everyone. My time here is about up.”
“But you just got here.”
“Look, just because I’m leaving in a hurry, don’t lose faith in me, because if you don’t vote and you just walk away like I’m doing now, that’s going to decide it. So do as I say, not as I do, okay?”
Nothing like a little reverse psycho-babble she thought as she scrambled out the exit. She made her way past a little hole-in-the-wall that the Paulmccartney occasionally popped in. Today was one of those days.
Fray after fray, a throne yet to fill
The MAGA, the haggard, are still all taking their stupid pills
As Georgia pleads and reminds them
Vote for your life, don’t be a fool
Though voting fraud is the cancer
Cuz the fools on the Hill
See T-Rump as unsound
But his lies they all fled
Are now running them down
Loeffler, Perdue, heads in a cloud
Kelly, green with her money, David not speaking out loud
But nobody ever fears them
Or their super spreader outbreak
The Covid deaths out of focus
But the fools on the Hill
See T-Rump going down
And the lies they all fled
Are now running them down
And those votes were changed to Biden
They heard T-Rump, the gospel truth
It’s the other side who’s stealing
Cuz the fools on the Hill
See T-Rump going down
And the lies they all fled
Are now running them down
Oh, those votes, found’em, found’em, found’em, found’em
Georgia now out on a limb
Snapping back at the fools
“We’ll boycott then”
The fools on the Hill
See T-Rump going down
And they lies they all fled
Are now running them down
Oh, found’em, found’em, found’em
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 