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Humor Political Satire The T-Rump Dig

It’s In the Way I Abuse It …

It was a natural instinct for dinos to hide. Because big dinos ate little dinos. Other reasons to hide included open, profusely bleeding flesh wounds, two-timing dinos during mating season and of course, knee-knocking shame. …

It was a natural instinct for dinos to hide. Because big dinos ate little dinos. Other reasons to hide included open, profusely bleeding flesh wounds, two-timing dinos during mating season and of course, knee-knocking shame. Which brings us to the Susancollins, she of the Oh-I-kid-you-not-the-T-Rump-has-learned-his-lesson infamy. Ever since she had voted against impeaching the Tyrumposaurus for that flimsiest of flimsy reasons, the Manuraju, a most industrious Mediacircustops had taken delight in tracking her down to ask her just one more time, how did her wee walnut process that whimpering weasel of an excuse? A weasel that quickly splattered against the Tree of Truth two nanoseconds later when the T-Rump had embarked on a week of being emboldened that rivaled the Napoleonosaurus’ march on the vaunted Moscovian Bluffs

The Susancollins breathed a quick, hiccup-like sigh of relief as she laid low in the low-lying Depression de Preshun, a marshland for mush-minded dinos seeking instant refuge. Her nerves were shot. She was shaking like a leaf. Damn that Manuraju. He would be the death of her. She had a big November battle coming up. How could she show her face to the dino masses back on the Maine Plain? She’d tried changing her protect T-Rump excuse to it-didn’t-rise-to-the-level-of-impeachment but that was one expiry date that had long since passed and like a one-hit-wonder, she was now The One-Excuse Wonder. 

A Michaelbloomberg Trollertweety flew by overhead.

“Squawk! Hey, T-Rump! I have w-a-a-a-a-y more moolah-moolah than you! Which means my Trollertweeties will find you, to remind you that you are stupid, you are incompetent and you are a barking clown dino! And now I’m off to tell your friends before you can defend yourself! Squawk!”

The Susancollins couldn’t help herself. She tittered at the message, slightly slobbering down her front. Oh, she wished she could stand up to the T-Rump but she knew that would simply be the end of her. Why couldn’t she be more like the Nancypelosi? Now there was a female dino who had no problem standing up and roaring at the nasty T-Rump.

There came a rustling in the bushes. Was it the Manuraju? Or maybe another DOJ, that is, Dino Open-Jawed legal dino exiting the swamp post haste? She peered through the marshland bulrushes. 

It was the T-Rump!

And he was singing. Oh, no! He was singing that song. Again. The one that was positively driving her around the bend!

 

It’s in the way I abuse it,

Right under your nose

It’s in the way I abuse it,

For friends and my foes

 

And I tell Barr I will lose it,

I don’t tip toe

I play my fun game of Who’s It?

Who’s next to go?

 

I’m always right and you’re always wrong

Justice is weak, I’m making it strong 

You were all losing til I came along

Don’t disobey me or you will be gone

 

It’s in the way I abuse it,

Right under your nose

It’s in the way I abuse it,

For friends and my foes

 

It’s in the way I abuse it,

Right under your nose

It’s in the way I abuse it,

For friends and my foes

 

And I tell Barr I will lose it,

I don’t tip toe

I play my fun game of Who’s It?

Who’s next to go?

 

Those I withdraw, you will like this

My revenge so raw, you will like this

My rewards bring awe, you will like this

Without rule of law, you will like this

 

It’s in the way I abuse it,

For friends and my foes

It’s in the way I abuse it,

And who’s next to go?

………………………………

You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!

 

By David Belisle

I'm a novelist and screenwriter in search of the Great Guffaw. It's kind of like getting hit with a bucket of Gatorade. It's a good time that sticks with you.

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