Satire The Trump Dig

The Bannonesia & T-Rump Show …

The Bannonesia stepped out from behind the safety and security of the Pershing-Bunker Beds to give a rare meeting with the Mediacircustops. …

The Bannonesia stepped out from behind the safety and security of the Pershing-Bunker Beds to give a rare meeting with the Mediacircustops. This took place with the Tyrumposaurus from the same Bullee-Tar Pit — a stunning development in Trumpassic Period annals.

The Mediacircustops were in a feeding frenzy. They couldn’t believe their good fortune at having the T-Rump and his right-hand dino at the same time in the same place.

“T-Rump,” asked one Mediacircustops, “are you going to kick the Bannonesia out of Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir after this meeting?”

“It depends on how many nice things he says about me,” said the T-Rump.

“What’s the over-under?” shouted another Mediacircustops from the back.

The Bannonesia wagged his tail and licked his lips.

“I want you all now to take one eye off the T-Rump and look at me.”

The T-Rump shrugged, then nodded that would be acceptable. The Mediacircustops all adjusted their necks accordingly.

“Regarding the Kimjongadon,” began the Bannonesia.

“Excuse me, that’s my cue for fire and fury.”

“No, T-Rump. We can’t do anything about the Kimjongadon.”

“But I like fire and fury.”

The Bannonesia raised his short arm to the T-Rump and pointed to a low-flying pterodactyl on the horizon, momentarily distracting him.

“Mediacircustops,” said the Bannonesia, “I am changing the narrative. This is an explicit, transparent strategy on my part to draw your attention away from the T-Rump.”

“Can we still ask him about the incident at the Charlottesville Divide?” asked a Mediacircustops.

“By all means.”

“T-Rump, can you give us another word on the altrightraptors? Do you know who they are?”

“They’re just like the altleftraptors. Same Sub Family. Same bad news. Most of them.”

But the Bannonesia was shaking his head.

“The altrightraptors are a bunch of clowns, fringe and losers.”

“Don’t forget fine people,” said the T-Rump. “And another thing for all you fake Mediacircustops, the Roberteeleesaurus and the Washingtonsaurus are one and the same.”

The Bannonesia folded his arms, smiling smugly.

“As long as you dinosaurs are talking about the altrightraptors and the gayblackinus, I can go after the Chungkingosaurus on the Economonic Plateau.”

One Mediacircustops turned to another and sniffed.

“Nothing ever happens on the Economonic Plateau. The T-Rump is the meteor threatening our dinosaur lives!”

By David Belisle

I'm a novelist and screenwriter in search of the Great Guffaw. It's kind of like getting hit with a bucket of Gatorade. It's a good time that sticks with you.

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